Comedian ALYSIA WOOD profile picture

Comedian ALYSIA WOOD

What was I saying?

About Me

I tell jokes onstage and long-winded pointless stories off stage (actually, they have a point, I swear, I just never get to it).

I'm starting to love LA: it’s the only city where you introduce yourself and get corrected.
People assume pronunciations and spellings for my name which leads to all sorts of "me’s" running around.
One LA person told me they’d heard that they hadn’t had a chance to check out Alissa Woods, but they heard she was really funny.
"You mean Alysia (pronounced Alicia) Wood?" I asked.
They looked at me like I was an idiot and said, "No," condescendingly. "It’s Alissa Woods."
"You’re sure you don’t mean me?" I said.
"Who are you?"
"I’m Alysia Wood."
They spun around and walked off wordlessly.
That’s awkward.
It's especially uncomfortable when people pronounce my name "Elijah Wood"- especially over PA systems in places like LAX.
Oh, I am also often greeted with, "Uh, I thought you were black?"
You must have been expecting my friend, Coop. Funny, yes, but a totally different human being.
Alycia Cooper
Let's see... what else? I'm in the rotation of National Lampoon Comedy Radio on XM radio.
I'm being stalked again by beka barry.
beka barry
You can find out more about me at www.ALYSIAWOOD.com .
Of course there’s always facebook , virb .
Best way to get show updates is on my facebook fan page or mailing list below!
Click here to read My Wicked Interview .
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Oh it's nice to meet you, too.

My Interests

um... myself...

I'd like to meet:

A. People that start sentences with phrases like "Not to be a dick but..."
B. People who like jokes and/or shower me with compliments (Free shit? That works, too...)
C. Matt Jones and Matt Gaffney . I would like to choke the ever-lovin' shit out of those two.
D. People looking for a good show. Especially ones I'll be performing on:

Please note that when I was booked to tell jokes on the June 21 show , killing the talent was not in the pitch. So... no thank you to killing the talent. See you there!

Music:

Check out these L.A. comedy shows with or without me:

No Name Comics - Every Sunday

Garage Comedy - Every Monday

Sunday! Sunday! Sunday! show - Some Sundays

Punk House! - Wednesdays

Promenade Playhouse - Thursday, Friday and/or Saturday (Check Schedule)

Screwballz - Check Schedule

Go see these people's shows and please tell 'em I said hello:

Mishka Shubaly

The Mattoid

Joanna James

River City Rebels

The Ratchets

Manual Noriega

Gumbohead

Chinua Hawk

Amy LaCour

Eddie & The Fuck Munkys

Movies:

Register to vote...

Television:

Not much... but when I do watch it, I'm transfixed.
I like to watch intervention drunk just to mock them with my self-control.
Am I stealing that line? I'm pretty sure that I'm stealing that line.

Books:

I read Shecky Magazine and Dead-Frog

Comic Insights:
The Art of Stand-up Comedy
- by Franklyn Ajaye

Comedy at the Edge:
How Stand-up in the 1970s Changed America
- by Richard Zoglin

Zen and the Art of Stand-Up Comedy
- by Jay Sankey

Comedy Writing Step by Step
- by Gene Perret

Born Standing Up:
A Comic's Life

- by Steve Martin

There's Nothing in This Book That I Meant to Say
- by Paula Poundstone

Heroes:

Originality
Automatic Coffee Makers. - God bless you, Braun.

My Blog

Last Comic Standing / Northwest Shows / My DVD going out of print

I auditioned in Minneapolis, which airs Thursday, June 12 on NBC.  Apparently I've been in the previews for upcoming weeks of Last Comic Standing but haven't seen it myself.   You'...
Posted by Comedian ALYSIA WOOD on Sat, 07 Jun 2008 05:00:00 PST

She’s really back.

Well, here we go again. During the time that we hadn't heard from beka barry, she wrote to me, telling me she had writer's block. I suggested that perhaps she could do writing exercises such as write ...
Posted by Comedian ALYSIA WOOD on Sun, 01 Jun 2008 11:58:00 PST

She’s b-a-a-a-a-a-ck! beka’s latest

SO, I got an email this morning from Beka Barry, who, started a blog war with me which escalated into Mormon missionaries hunting me all over Los Angeles county. The email asked me to ask you to be he...
Posted by Comedian ALYSIA WOOD on Sat, 31 May 2008 12:19:00 PST

Featured on MySpace / Ontario Tonight !

Being featured on MySpace Comedy tells me that I woke up today to a whole new week's worth of mojo - and it's good mojo.  The cool part is that I share the page with Steven Wright. Steven W...
Posted by Comedian ALYSIA WOOD on Tue, 27 May 2008 02:11:00 PST

I Have the Power

My finger is wrapped in bacon band-aids and I'm dejectedly watching She-Ra with my roommate over margaritas mid-day.   I'm feeling fairly beat down and watching the scene where the pink swan ge...
Posted by Comedian ALYSIA WOOD on Tue, 27 May 2008 10:06:00 PST

The Fund for Comedians in Crisis

As comics, often when accidents happen we don't have health insurance or the means to support ourselves and there's no union or similar organization to support us.  So I thought this was co...
Posted by Comedian ALYSIA WOOD on Thu, 17 Apr 2008 07:03:00 PST

MIDWEST UPDATE! Cincinnatti, Louisville, Indianapolis-more!

MIDWEST UPDATE! Check the schedule on my profile  if you are in Cincinnatti, Louisville or Indianapolis for shows I just added!  Yeah! ------------------------------------------- I pick...
Posted by Comedian ALYSIA WOOD on Thu, 13 Mar 2008 11:59:00 PST

The N-List

Starting in episode 2, I am in Alycia Cooper's webside series, "The N-List*". Watch Koldcast.tv > the inkubator > Original series > Comedy > The N-List to see why Alycia Cooper calls me "The Ski...
Posted by Comedian ALYSIA WOOD on Sun, 24 Feb 2008 03:25:00 PST

Born Standing Up: a comics life

SUCH A GOOD READ. If you like comedians, comedy or if you just like good stories, then read Born Standing Up: a comic's life by Steve Martin and also pick up Phyllis Diller's Like a Lamp Shade in a W...
Posted by Comedian ALYSIA WOOD on Sat, 19 Jan 2008 10:47:00 PST

How I spent my winter vacation

...
Posted by Comedian ALYSIA WOOD on Thu, 10 Jan 2008 11:40:00 PST