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tom

TOMSIMMONS.NET

About Me

My name is tom. I am a stand up comedian.

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My Interests

performing, listening to and writing comedy, reading, watching movies, playing pool, people watching, sports (both playing and watching), talking, and learning. Plus a bunch of other stuff I can't think of right now... and sex.

I'd like to meet:

Interesting people who like to laugh, who care about the world, about learning, questioning, and trying to make some sort of difference. I want to meet people who will like laughing at the idiocy around us, or just like to sleep late and watch television.

Music:

I like a bunch of different things. Dave Matthews Band, Lenny Kravitz, The Screaming Cheetah Wheelies, old Blues Traveler, AudioSlave, Chet Baker, Eminem, Enigma, Live, John Mellencamp, Rush, Stevie Ray Vaughn, Dexter Freebish, Black Crowes, Sting, Sublime....

Movies:

I am fairly obvious in my movie choices and not very original. I like Ron Howard movies, I like Star Wars, Crash, Tim Burton, Hell... I can't sit here and type in every movie I like. I watch a lot of movies and enjoy both going to the theatre and renting most of what get's made. Not a fan of cheesey comedy or teen flicks.

Television:

I don't watch a whole lot of specific television because of my performance schedule and lack of Tivo. I keep late hours and have my days off, so I tend to just flick around. Watch a lot of Atlanta Braves baseball, Espn, CNN and the other news channels, then just sort of whatever catches my eye while flipping. Generally movies or shows on HBO if I can. I love the HBO documentary series America Under Cover, Curb Your Enthusiasm, stuff like that. Generally I sit down- turn it on and then flick around for something interesting, don't find anything, and then and hour and half later I turn it off.

Books:

I can't possibly list all the books. I read a good amount. Mostly non fiction, although I have read a ton of fiction- Stephen King, David Morrell, John Iriving (named my son Owen after the character in Prayer for Owen Meany), Micheal Crichton, Richard Bach, Steinbech.Howard Zinn's- Passionate Declarations, People's History of the Untited States.Noam Chomsky- Hegemony or Survival, America's quest for Global Dominance.Scott A Hunt- THE FUTURE OF PEACE- this was a great book. I read it twice and will read it again for sure.J Krishnamurti- THINK ON THESE THINGS- I have read a few of his books. Very interesting and spritiually inspiring.Richard Bach- ONE, ILLUSIONS, BRIDGE ACROSS FOREVER.. and actually I think I have read 90% of what he has written. Love it.Neal Postma- AMUSING OURSELVES TO DEATH. A great look at television and analysis of how it is the soma talked of in Huxley's BRAVE NEW WORLD.The BAGHADAD GITA. THE TAO OF POOH. CELESTINE PROPHECY.Anyway, I could go on and on. I can't go into a bookstore without leaving with a few books and ten I wished I could get.

Heroes:

This is a wierd one to answer without coming across as either shallow, pretentious, or hack.Right now they are my parents- my dad, who is a good man with a great heart and unending patience. My mom who continues to grow and search out new things even as she gets older.My sister Jennifer who went from high school drop out, drug addict and general loser to a first in her class college graduate and an inspiring life saver and addiction counselor.My wife Serena... who constantly figures out a way to love me in spite of me.Richard Bach, Ghandi, Martin Luther King, Howard Zinn, J. Krishnamurti, Bill Hicks, Dave Mattews, Brad Pitt ( cuz he is nailing Angelina Jolie)Most of my heroes are every day people who do things to show me that I could do more.I was impressed with Harry Connick Jr after hurricane Katrina hit New Orleans.

My Blog

More Mike Vick

I am a big football fan, the Atlanta Falcons are my team.  The season has begun and is over for my team.  Thanks to Michael Vick's dogfighting conviction I have nothing to root for except a ...
Posted by tom on Wed, 19 Sep 2007 07:18:00 PST

evolution vs creationsim

Evolution vs Creationism. I am supposed to pick one side or the other. It is science or religion, democrat vs republican, we come from monkeys or God& Why must it be framed as one side vs/or the ot...
Posted by tom on Sun, 02 Sep 2007 06:57:00 PST

Minneapolis

    I worked Acme in Minneapolis this past week.  I had a great time just trying to work and be as good as the club.  Every week the microphone in that club has some of the ve...
Posted by tom on Thu, 09 Aug 2007 08:02:00 PST

I don't really talk to my kid this way... it is the setup.

   I have had a few weeks off the comedy stage, now I head to Myrtle Beach to do a weeks worth of shows.  Looking forward to it.  I spent the last few weeks with family.  Good...
Posted by tom on Sun, 22 Jul 2007 12:11:00 PST

some sports lines

    The quaterback of my favorite football team was indicted yesterday for raising, training, fighting, and killing dogs.  I am sure that a suspension will follow and now who knows...
Posted by tom on Wed, 18 Jul 2007 01:14:00 PST

thanks

    Read a headline today about how the biggest threat to the United States comes from Al Queida in Iraq.  Just a reminder- there was no Al Quieda in Iraq before the invasion. ...
Posted by tom on Wed, 18 Jul 2007 12:34:00 PST

Purple Hearts and Marshall Mathers

    Last week I worked The Improv in Temecula, CA at the Pechanga Casino...  What a great place.  All the way around.  I felt like I was in show business.  Tony Benn...
Posted by tom on Fri, 01 Jun 2007 11:04:00 PST

my notebook this week

After seeing the story explode across the television about the shooting at Virginia Tech I instantly pulled out my notebook and pen and started to jot things down looking for the joke.   That is ...
Posted by tom on Thu, 26 Apr 2007 09:39:00 PST

black guys get all the breaks

    Lenox and I were talking tonight.  I argued and proved a couple of different ways that a funny black comedian has an advantage over a funny white comedian when it comes to gett...
Posted by tom on Thu, 05 Apr 2007 11:51:00 PST

new schedule

     March 30, 31SPRINGFIELD IL-  Funny Bone2937 west white oaks drive217.698.0918***April 4-8ST. PETE BEACH, FL- Coconuts comedy Club***April 12-14ST. AUGUSTINE, FL- J...
Posted by tom on Tue, 27 Mar 2007 09:31:00 PST