Doug Stanhope profile picture

Doug Stanhope

Drunk with Power

About Me

I am a comic, a drunk and lover of losers. Losers have the best stories and all the empathy.I am old and soft in the middle. I think I'm the oldest guy on MySpace. Touch my belly. Go ahead, touch it. Squishy like summer dog shit.I am a road pig, I travel doing stand-up of a cruel and unusual sort, feeding on chaos in a world where adrenaline seems to be a controlled substance.I play all over the country and all over the world in a lot of shitholes. Shitholes are my favorite places to be. I might be playing down the street from you right now. Check the calendar or my road dates blog.If you only know me from television, then you aren't familiar with what I do. Television is shit but you take easy money when you can. Live shows are the only true freedom of speech left. Get out of the house. We will only be alive for so long and no good stories ever came from your couch or getting up on time for work.I add all who ask and some that didn't. I join every group that invites me and a lot that would rather not have me. Fuck em. I cant respond to every comment or email, but I do to most and I appreciate them all.If I've tried adding you and you don't know me, it's because I think you'll get what I do. Most people don't but I've seen what is popular in this country and I'd have to second-guess myself if I were part of it. I don't know why I added you. Maybe it's because you're a drunk, a freak, bi-polar, angry, disillusioned with it all, funny, irrational, impressionable, burdened or simply hot. Who doesn't like hot?Whatever it was, I ain't trying to bang you. I have enough problems. I have hooker money and my life is still a shambles.Find my stuff on YouTube. Steal my stuff off of Limewire and don't apologize. Buy the CDs and DVDs from my site and feel free to burn em and share em.Then come to the show.More at Doug Stanhope.com

My Interests

Stealing from the rich and giving to the stupid. Convincing you to change your mind. Abusing the audience.Coke once or twice a month to compliment a good story and fair amount of hallucinogens to keep order.Figuring out how to drop out of society. Thrift stores. The desert, especially the interior of Nevada.
Stray animals. Sitting in bars and complaining about how nobody does anything anymore. A pro-bono dominatrix with a poor choice of wine.
Revolution, prison reform, conspiracy theories and beating incredible odds.Costa Rica. Love. Wondering how it all got so tragically fucked up.

I'd like to meet:

Human Oddities. Persons of dubious integrity. All those people you once knew who disappeared into the cracks. Drinkers who don't care when you forget their names. Everyone who has becomed bored with society as we know it.Quiet geniuses. People whose politics aren't limited to two points of view. Libertarians and Libertines. Fuck-ups who don't apologize for their behavior. Angry bi-trendy girls who say not to add them to your friends list unless you're a chick.The people who put Jesus and Santa and the law in the same rubbish pail.Girls I slept with back when I had a fantastic mullet and not a care in the world.People who don't look that good in real life. Fat men in jumpsuits. Sidewalk queers and the terminally ill.The handful that get it.Champions.

Music:

I hate music. I only steal it off Limewire to shame it.But if I have to listen to it, I'd go with Counting Crows, Warren Zevon, Tim Curry, Pink Floyd or Neil Diamond. Yes, I like Neil Diamond. Go fuck yourself.

Movies:

Brazil, The Ninth Confirguration, Fight Club, Bad Santa, The Fashionistas.,Office Space, The Dark Backward, The Life Aquatic. Requiem for a Dream makes me laugh over and over.Must See documentaries - Why We Fight, Fog of War, Devil and Daniel Johnston, Paradise Lost, The Staircase.

Television:

Deadwood. History Channel for sleeping, CNN for rage. South Park and The Simpsons obviously. Trading Spouses without an apology. NFL if I have money on the game and I always have money on the game.

Books:

Hunter S Thompson, Charles Bukowski. Irvine Welsh. Howard Bloom. Aldous Huxley. Timothy Leary. Jim Goad. Terence Mckenna. Christopher Hitchens. Mostly non-fiction. And I forget everything I read within days.You Are Being Lied To is probably the most important book I have read. www.disinfo.com

Heroes:

Greg Chaille, Brian Hennigan, Billy Badd & Colleen Coadic

My Blog

Memphis & Atlanta

I'm coming back and I'm not going to be very pretty. Get tickets now at the links that I've provided as a courtesy to you the valuable link-clicking customer. Friday, August 8th Comedy, Tennessee Mem...
Posted by Doug Stanhope on Sat, 31 May 2008 10:42:00 PST

Looking for a DC (or close) venue for Oct 17th...

I'm looking to book Oct 17th in the DC area. I'm playing Ottobar in Baltimore on Oct 16th and in Philly at the Trocadero on Oct 18th. Looking for a 200- 400 capacity venue in the area (not within 30 m...
Posted by Doug Stanhope on Wed, 11 Jun 2008 08:17:00 PST

Heads Up, Texas - Houston, Dallas, Austin

Texas! Repost if you love your mother... Me, Brendon Walsh & Mishka Shubaly all on one bill! And all shows will be hosted by Satan! If you don't know em, check em out on my Top Friends. ...
Posted by Doug Stanhope on Thu, 05 Jun 2008 01:27:00 PST

2008 Road Dates...

Before anything else... subscribe to this blog! Then you'll see when I'm playing at your Mother's house. Probably in her ass because I couldn't sell out her front-hole. That's what we mean in the bus...
Posted by Doug Stanhope on Wed, 26 Dec 2007 01:06:00 PST

Its Summertime! Send me stuff! -UPDATED

Now that summer has offcially begun - I'm off with a few exception for two months - the time has come to mail me shit! Bingo & I love checking the mailbox everyday more than even beating the dogs...
Posted by Doug Stanhope on Thu, 29 May 2008 12:27:00 PST

Philly Tix on sale now

I'm playing the Trocadero October 18th. I know its early but Philly always sells out so I'm giving you plenty of advance notice. Get that shit now, motherfucker. And pass word along to any Philly fuck...
Posted by Doug Stanhope on Sun, 30 Mar 2008 10:38:00 PST

Fuck TicketMaster - Heads Up To Comics/Musicians

If you're booking your own shit and doing door deals, check out BrownPaperTickets.com if you want to do your own online sales. They charge almost nothing to you or the customer (99 cents and 2.5 perc...
Posted by Doug Stanhope on Tue, 08 Jan 2008 06:06:00 PST

2007 Road Dates - UPDATED

Subscribe to my blog to find out when I've added new dates. I'm adding shit all the time.If you have or book a venue that looks like it'll fit in to the schedule, send an email to [email protected]...
Posted by Doug Stanhope on Fri, 01 Dec 2006 12:55:00 PST

Comedians Looking For Work...

Comedians Looking For Work...I came around in a day when you thought you weren't officially "funny" until some shitbag booker from the Funnybone - or whatever club - gave you an emcee week for less th...
Posted by Doug Stanhope on Sat, 01 Sep 2007 05:01:00 PST

Fun with Pedophiles: The Best of Baiting!

If you haven't seen Baiting - it's the funniest shit I've ever written and I just self-published a Best of Baiting book through Lulu.com. Baiting is the art of luring pedophiles into AIM chat by posi...
Posted by Doug Stanhope on Fri, 24 Nov 2006 04:32:00 PST