Dressing up as a Girl Scout, oatmeal raison cookies, pestering Thomas and Nellie for tree-fitty, tricking that goddamn woman Nellie for tree-fitty (she thinks she can get off giving me two-fitty, we'll just see about that!), starring in movies, being an urban legend, eating all the dead chickens people throw into Loch Ness, making guest appearances on South Park, avoiding the public eye.
I'd like to meet:
I would like to meet Godzilla, Bigfoot, the Abdominal Snowman, Snarf, Goatman, Zeus, Frankenstein, Dracula, and the Wolfman. Let's do lunch bitches! Also, I would like to meet a Miss Loch Ness. I would rock her world! Also, I would like to kick Shaggy in the nuts for ruining the goddamn Scooby Doo meets the Loch Ness monster movie. I got your goddam Scoobie Snack for ya you tree huggin' hippy! I also want to meet all the peeps who've tired to track me down in the Ness. I have something for all of you. Come closer, CLOSER! Word of advice, you'll never find me. I also want to me Snarf so I can kick him in his "snarf snarf snarf", I hear he's a little cunt rat anyway.
Music:
I like to shake my tailfeather to Luke and the Two Live Crew...really, I do! It's Peanut Butter Jelly Time, Peanut Butter Jelly Time! YOU KNOW! I like some country...just kidding, that shit is straight booty! I think I need to go into the recording industry! I mean, if Ashlee Simpson has a contract, why can't I? I like all 2 Live Crew, Master Luke is a god to me! I likes to get down with some Hardcore Rap and Metal...SLAYER!!!!!!! I like DnB, especially UK DJs and hate pussy Trance.
Movies:
All the movies I'm in and that are about ME, ME, ME! I like some Godzilla movies, but that bitch ass can't act worth a shit! King Kong is cool, but he nothing on Loch Ness! Jurassic Park (all of them!) -- did you know I had a bit part in Jurassic Park III? Never would have guessed, right? I like monster movies when the monster actually kills everyone in sight...unrealistic, huh? I also like the Godfather, I'm kinda like him. I also enjoy watching Scarface while I sneak into my "secret" stash! Some bomb ass movies, in my opinion, are Dazed and Confused, Good Burger, Pee Wee's Big Adventure, Blow, Party Monster, Half Baked, Pumpkin Head, Ghoulies, Scarface, Goodfellas, Casino, The Godfather and SHOWGIRLS! Oh, I like Porn too! I'm a bit of a porn star myself! Ron Jeremy better watch out!
Television:
South Park, Cops, Scooby Doo, Thundercats, He-man, The Banana Splits, The Munsters, The Adams Family, Aqua Teen Hunger Force, Married...With Children, Robot Chicken, Jeopardy!, The Price is Right, Judge Judy, Divorce Court, Nancy Grace (she's a cunt), Transformers
Books:
How and the hell am I supposed to read when I live in a damn lake? What, do they make books with friggin' floatation devices? Now if you leave a Hustler by the Lake, now that's another story!
Heroes:
MyselfMuthafuckas I ain't no damn Urban Legand....I'm a living legend, the real deal. Like Ric Flair....WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The Loch Ness Monster
The Loch Ness Monster or "Nessie" is the name of the lake monster that inhabits Loch Ness in Scotland. Loch Ness is about 24 miles long, fairly narrow, and about 800 feet deep. Loch Ness connects to the North Sea by the Caledonian Canal. The water is very murky because of a high concentration of peat.
Nessie is usually described as having a long neck, with a wide body. It is about 40 feet in length. This description seems to suggest a prehistoric plesiosaur reptile type creature. Sonar used in 1972 and 1975 by Dr. Robert H. Rines of the Academy of applied science in Boston came up with what looked like the fin of a plesiosaur.
Nessie sightings have been reported as early as the 6th century with more recent sightings begining in the 1930's. In 1933 Mr. and Mrs. John MacKay saw "an enormous animal rolling and plunging in the waters". Also in 1933 Mr. and Mrs. George Spicer reported seeing a creature out of the water which resembled a "prehistoric animal".
Many of the sightings have been recorded in the deep waters of Urquart Bay. The most famous picture of Nessie hs the 13th century Urquart Castle in the forground. Well over 3,000 people have reported seeing the monster since 1933, including police officers, scientists, local residents and tourists.
Despite all the sightings and the few photos, no hard evidense to totally prove Nessies existance have been found.
This is crass shit, I'm the real deal, these fucktards don't know what their talking about....What you talkin' about fucktards!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
