Bedtime With Fat Jewish Guy - Jason Bang
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I'm goofy (surprise!), 215 lbs., a registered Libertarian and a romantic at heart. I'm passionate about things that I feel passionate towards (because I have passion). I'm married to a wonderful European woman who is a Life Coach and we were married in December of '06. She must be the one for me considering she hasn't murdered me yet because of my ozone-destroying, foul, rancid-smelling gas. By the way, I don't look at things the way most "normal" people do. People may come and go in life, but there's one thing that's with you forever, that's right: herpes. That's why I'm glad that I only have gonorrhea of the throat. I guess that'll teach me about eating in Tijuana, if you know what I mean and I think you do. I also find women who like to run (and get sweaty) to be a very sexy thing; a woman who likes to exercise will always grab my attention.
I love food; I think about it and look forward to making then eating it (as opposed to just looking at it after I make it). I try my best to steer clear of foods containing high fructose corn syrup and partially hydrogenated oils. I try to buy only organic products as Whole Foods in Hillcrest is my main shopping spot. I hate cigarette smoke, mushrooms, ham, laundry detergent/fabric softeners with fragrance and when I run out of Orange Juice, I get very nervous. I stopped drinking soda and I rarely eat bacon or sausage anymore. I enjoy the aroma of a skunk and my workouts at the gym usually last between two to three hours. I bought a beach cruiser in Sept. '07 and shortly thereafter completed my first long distance ride - Oceanside to San Diego in 5 hours. If you want to read about all of my biking excursions thus far (exciting, huh?), check out my blog. Oh yeah, I also bake the best chocolate chip cookies in the civilized world. Seriously.
More libertarian than conservative, more conservative than liberal, and more cynical and skeptical than anything else.
** www.jasonfreakinbang.com **
In addition to being the best stand-up comedian since Pat Morita (R.I.P.) and Michael Richards, I also produce/book/host a traveling comedy show called Comics That Kill.
If you want to get booked, don't ask me. If you're on my friends list then it's possible I'll ask you to be on one of my shows. If I book you and you become a headache afterwards ("I don't like the picture that you used on the flyer, can you change it?" and other whiny crap like that) then I probably won't book you again. Also, I want to work with comedians that promote themselves. That shows me that you're serious about what you're doing as a comedian. I spend a lot of time promoting my shows (and YOU) so at the very least you can send out a bulletin to let people know that you're performing. I'm not going to put up with your shit, so if you don't like it, go work with someone that signed a deal with HBO or something.
What will you get for performing at Comics That Kill? Well, aside from an inflated or a deflated ego (depending on the circumstances), you'll get fed, cool water from a nearby hose, pictures of you off and on stage. Plus, a free DVD of your set, as well. Cash money is possible depending on how difficult it is for me to shake down the audience.
You Are a Golden Retriever Puppy
Tolerant, fun-loving, and patient.
You are eager to please - and attached to your frisbee.
