Jeremy Paul - ProfilesArchive

About Me

I am a comedian, poker addict and lyrical genius. I'm great at what I do. I don't want to be a television star, or a sitcom star. I just want to be a respected comedian. There will be no more apologies. These two video's do not do me justice. They are both of me working out jokes at open mics. The one below is damn near 3 years old. You will love me.
I now drive a car that works. I'm hoarding money like a deranged widow with 22 greedy grandchildren in preparation for 2008. I have a penchant for taking peoples money on a no limit poker table, yet can't seem to keep said winnings past a night at strip clubs. I've even gone so far as to tell people on the poker tables that the money i'm taking from them will be soon in the g-string of some stripper. Although that is now officially over with. I am a college graduate, yet because i still owe the college money for a room that i didn't sleep in they wont send me my damn diploma. so. there. I am full of information because I'm a know it all and an unregistered genius. But also extremely lazy, so lazy that if someone knows I am smart, and asks me a question i feign stupidity because I hate answering questions then explaining to people what the answer means. people suck.
I'm on the same search as Bruce Leeroy Green. I want the golden glow. Happiness people, happiness.

My Interests

Women. Comedy. Love. Sodium Penathol. Thyroid and pituitary dysfunctions. Brain lengths. Miscalculations of common energy theorem. The Poincare conjecture. Chess. Video games. The incredible hulk.

I'd like to meet:

Richard Pryor, George Carlin, Minnie Ripperton, Louis Armstrong. Talib Kweli. Kurt Cobain. Charlie Chaplin. Stephen Hawking. Damian Satch. Walter Payton. Bjork

Music:

Rap. - common, talib kweli, big pun, ras kass, bone thugs, tupac, notorious big, pharoah monch.
Classical. - cant get the eroica trio out of my head. the kaska triple conceirto they played was magnificient.
Blugrass. - any of it. like ralph stanley.
R&B. - aaliyah, patti austin, james ingram, toni braxton, chaka khan, freddy jackson, sam cooke, marvin gaye, curtis mayfield. minnie riperton. and more.
jazz. - satchmo, miles, cab, little milton, bb king.
Rock -bjork. Hendrix, Joplin, james taylor. System of a down, my morning jacket, nirvana and more.
white people who've co-opted black music damn good that I like- John Mayer, Eminem.

Movies:

Berry Gordys the last dragon is the greatest movie ever made.
Other favorites include but are not limited to: Hero. Bicentennial man. Soul man. Grosse Pointe Blank. Dragonheart. O brother where art thou. Breakin'. Illicit Illinois part 3. Short Circuit. Graffiti Bridge. Fists of Fury. Dragon the bruce lee story. more to come later.

Television:

married with children, night court, family guy, simpsons, the john larroquette show, mister ed, laugh in, malcolm in the middle.

Books:

Incredible hulk (peter david's run).Firestarter by Stephen king.

Heroes:

Stevie wonder, Kurt Cobain. Walter Payton.

My Blog

Truganini

I want a damn band which contains a singer that actually feels the music and the songs they write like this one. Damnit. This is a performance. I am going to go out and go buy at least 3 of their cd&r...
Posted by Jeremy Paul on Thu, 13 Mar 2008 11:59:00 PST

Fire Lovie Smith

I just spent the last hour looking on youtube at highlights of Barry Sanders' career highlights. For those of you who have no idea who Barry is or what he was able to do on the football field, know t...
Posted by Jeremy Paul on Fri, 07 Mar 2008 08:40:00 PST

Bombing...

I always maintained that my ultimate thrill in comedy, would be to bomb. Really bomb. Not "boo we hate you, you should die a horrible death" bomb, thats nothing. I mean bomb to silence. Whereas I am d...
Posted by Jeremy Paul on Fri, 22 Feb 2008 04:58:00 PST

Mission Statement

I, for some reason, watched the grammy's tonight while I shaved my balls and wrote jokes. Amy Winehouse performed at the end of the show and her performance made me think of, guess who? Cobain. S...
Posted by Jeremy Paul on Mon, 11 Feb 2008 11:34:00 PST

Cloverfield

All of my life, I have wanted to see a movie like this one. Where things go terribly wrong and never get better. Where no matter what the heroes try to do, things get worse. Where even the cameraman w...
Posted by Jeremy Paul on Wed, 06 Feb 2008 05:07:00 PST

Last Comic Standing.. Bullshit without an agent..

I've been sitting in line for 14 minutes. I've learned a few things. Due to the rainstorm (rainstorm?) that occurred out here in los angeles they pushed the auditions back a day to tuesday. This meant...
Posted by Jeremy Paul on Tue, 29 Jan 2008 04:30:00 PST

Hack Comedy Jam

For those that don't know already, I hate black comedy. I hate what people call "black comedy". I hate black comics. I hate black comedy audiences. There are 2 reason's for this. Comic view and Def Co...
Posted by Jeremy Paul on Fri, 25 Jan 2008 11:30:00 PST

Not in a good mood right now.

About 3 weeks before my mom died, she called me. I didn't return the call because I was gambling, and we had made a deal that if I don't gamble, she'd come back out after her knee surge...
Posted by Jeremy Paul on Tue, 22 Jan 2008 12:37:00 PST

Gloria

I just finished watching the movie "white men can't jump." 2 things became clearer to me. 1. Rosie Perez is the shit. I mean damn. And she still looks the same. I mean, damn damn damn. Fucking d...
Posted by Jeremy Paul on Fri, 18 Jan 2008 12:24:00 PST

What had happened

I just wrote, a long and thought provoking blog about my career and goals and I confessed my darkest fears. I professed my love to several women i've loved in life. I begged for forgiveness from famil...
Posted by Jeremy Paul on Sat, 12 Jan 2008 04:27:00 PST