Comedian Welder Steve

CLICK ON SOME PICTURES AND SEE WHERE THEY TAKE YOU!!!It was all I could talk about for at least three weeks, a new club! I did a half an hour, but it was quite fun, and most unexpected… My dad was putting in granite counter tops that he and his business partner fabricated, into the kitchen of a beautiful new house southwest of town. I was there to help…. that granite is some heavy shit! About three hours in, my dad starts to feel weak and shake noticeably . he asked me to go to the nearest town to get him something to eat. One minute, thirty-two seconds later, and two and a half miles away, the bells clamber against the door of a bar in a small town as it opens. "how ya doin’…can I get a hamburger and a coke to go?… my dad needs to get his blood sugar up…..by the way could I get a snicker bar as well?"…… "Got it" the cook replies. Have you ever walked in to a small town bar? Where everyone knows everyone?..... Except you? .....Seems nobody wants to smile, or really look your way….. Waiting for my dads meal, knowing it will take a couple of minutes I say hello to the gal next to me……Yadda, yadda, yadda,…. "that’ll be $6.87" and the bells hit the door again, and I had a smile on my face because everyone in there was still laughing as I left.….and I had a gig. Fifteen minutes from the time I left him, my dad scarfs down a snicker bar, burger, a coke. And some fries. I’m not sure but he may have taken a bite out of the foam box too…..and all is well........ It was a proud moment telling my Dad that I won a small crowd of about five or six people over in less then ten minutes and that one of them happened to be the owner of the bar….I was even happier to know that Dad was feeling better. His choice to stay at the site was understandably, warranted…. ….because he’d ridden with me before. Almost a month had past when I walked in to the small town bar one week before the gig. My good friend Junior, drove me out there. Again, His choice was understandably, warranted….. The place was alive on a Friday night, I didn’t think there were that many people in this town. ……and they said it was a slow night….. I started to get the feel for the place, but as I looked around, it was hard to find the posting of my upcoming appearance. The owner showed me that it was posted once by the back door, and once behind the bar…… on an 8x11sheet of paper. She told me not to worry, and that there was nothing else going on that week in the area Junior and I sat at a table across from a couple of older gentlemen talking about mowing the yard, fishin’, workin’, travelin’, and the stunts they’d pull during a combination of any one of those activities… …..plus gittn’ drunk. They bought a round, I bought a round…..We had a good time.…It all seemed so harmless….One week later, My girlfriend and I pull up, lookin’ snazzy… ….I’m not sure what that means, but we were clearly over dressed and I like it that way. We sit and order a drink, everything is cool…. The owner says hello and introduces me to the M. C. I have my drink and a sandwich, then I get up as the guy calls me to the "Stage" (I am located between the crowd and the bathroom) …not a problem…some music plays, I tap on the mic, and turn around to find a man standing about 5’6" and almost as wide, IN MY FACE….with a very annoyed look on his. ..I say with a smile…"Well, I guess I must be in your way"…. ---[lesson number 1] Don’t talk, ….when you should be moving. In an angry voice the guy says "YEAH" and shoves his way through. So, I shake it off and open with "Wow you guys, I am just about as happy as a meth-head with a brand new bicycle…………………and a set of wrenches. ....and now you know I’m on top of the world!" ……..The crowd and I are doing great! A couple more jokes and a story later, I notice a tall gentalman with a cowboy hat and a cut-off "t" whispering in my ear. I try my best to be polite ………………..and ignore him at the same time... I don’t even know what he’s saying , finally he’s getting more attention just by being there, so I stop and ask "what is it you need" just then I realize he’s been asking me in a very stressed manner and a deep sothern accent; …"You Some Kinda’ Yankee???" as he seems to loom over me. I feel threatened, but don’t show it and reply …"we’re just a little too far north of the Mason/Dixon for a question like that …….yeah, I guess I am a Yankee"…. and with a gleeful expression and a cheerful voice the guy says "O-kay"……and walks away with out a care….THIS HAS ME CONFUSED AS HELL! ---[lesson number 2] Answer the guy only if you can make it funny, ….and keep your ass from being sent home in an ambulance. ...but I go on with the act and try out some new stuff that works alright, cut the set down a little and run with my usual "Wheel of fortune" bit, as a Closer, I ran short, so I stayed and did some Karaoke, and they RAN MY ASS OUT OF TOWN!………………..just kidding they Loved it just as much if not more then my stand up ...So I’ve been asked to come back and do it again….. …and I’m happy about that!there are other blogs by me and you can buy t-shirts if you click on the pictures over there ...buckie dawg