Stand-up comedy, recreational drug use, banjos, interior design, love, friends, reading, chocolate, growth, writing, cold showers on a hot day, making my family laugh - hell, making anyone laugh, watching my loved ones grow as people, believing in your dreams, hard work, kind empathetic people, old photos of loved ones, fond memories that make me smile, dogs, writing a great joke, interesting word choices, new notebooks, coffee and great conversation, road trips - I prefer being a co-captain, bold colors, grilling, witty e-mail banter, kissing, christmas ornaments, handwritten letters on beautiful stationary, Vargas girls, pretty dresses, high thread count sheets and cozy blankets, anything handmade, bursts of creative energy in the middle of the night, seeing something in a new way, big hair, travel, a sense of completion, jasmine (the flower and the rice), old people holding hands, shakin' my money maker, campfires/gathering sticks/roasting marshmellows, fall leaves, soft fabrics, investigating crimes (of the heart... i.e. cheating)ME IN GUANTANAMO BAY... "WHERE MY DETAINEES AT?"
People who don't suck. People who can help me or send me charitable donations (will accept money or anything from Oprah's Angel Network). People who know Ed McMahon and can arrange a little visit from the prize wagon. People who giggle when they hear "prize wagon." People who are kind, people who can laugh at themselves, people who get sarcasm, people who are smart, people who can teach me things, people who are into taxodermy so I can ask them, "what the fuck?" Oh, and cute boys with big weiners... sarcasm... back to the people who get sarcasm. Get Your Own! | View Slideshow Get Your Own! | View Slideshow
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The Shawshank Redemption (I loves me some prison violence), Dirty Dancing (I love a man who can dance his way out of a pickle), Rocky (I threw that one in for the fellas), anything with Richard Gere or full frontal (I love a gratuitous penie shot... there should be more. Little Miss Sunshine, The Goodbye Girl, Kramer vs. Kramer, Steel Magnolias, Flashdance (don't judge me and my poor taste)
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The Sopranos (I hear it's coming back in 2046... that is unless global warming melts more glaciers and we're all dead. Keep your fingers crossed! I think we all miss Tony and his hijinks...is that how you spell hijinks, probably not (thank god I was given a big rack to make up for my lack of smarts), Curb Your Enthusiasm (although I feel it jumped the shark this season... forgive me for saying "jump the shark," I want to hit me.), Extras (I thought it would be better), Oprah (nuff said)
I ain't a much for that-there book learnin'. I'm really vapid-I just page through fashion magazines to further my self-loathing. READING? WHO NEEDS GROWTH? But if I were to recommend a book or two they would be: The Magic of Believing, The Pursuit of Happiness, A Prayer for Owen Meany, The Beauty Myth and Promiscuities by Naomi Wolf (ladies, get ready to get angry - but don't just get angry, do something), The Bernie Mac Story, Sex Drugs and Cocoa Puffs, Naked, anything in the self-help section that will allow me to procrastinate, The Comedy Writer, Running With Scissors... let me know when you finish these and then I'll give ya' a few more.
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ME. I'VE BEEN TRYING TO SAVE MYSELF FOR YEARS! YUP. THAT'S ME (AGE 9) POURING BOOZE IN AN ABOVE-GROUND POOL. LOOK OUT AL-ANON, HERE I COME.