Stewart profile picture

Stewart

WILL YOU BE MY FRIEND

About Me

Hi there I'm a Rock Collector. I have the coolest set of rock that you have ever seen. I have them awesome dope graphite quartz crystal with minute amounts of gold particles. I just love to take my chisel and chip at good ol granite from the Chesapeake Mountains. YIIPPPPEEE Oh yeah will you be my friend?

My Interests

I'd like to meet:

MY HERO ROCK BITER!

Music:

My Family Photos
My Family Photos :) .. Hi there...this is my brother... Mom said he got all the good looks and no brains. He has a stomach ulcer. .. This is my mom. She has lots of boyfriends. One of them has a job. She says with a little luck I could be a garbage man one day. This is my 2nd brother Hank. He is in jail right now. When he gets out he is not allowed to be around animals and kitchen appliances. My grandmom lives with us in our trailer. Shes smells real bad. She likes to hang out in bars and drink beer. Grandma has sores all over. The flies are terrible. My mom says she is almost positive this is my dad. He lives in a Federal Penitentiary in Montana. When he gets out in 55 years we are going fishing. My younger sister Jill lost all her teeth. She was licking a egg beater after mom made a and my cousin Jimmy turned it on by accident. We are proud of my older brother Barney. He is 27. He wants to be a Doctor and can write his own name. This is my older sister Sue Ellen. She has 15 kids and they all look different. She has a disease that makes her itch. Jethro is my 1st cousin. He runs a tomato stand down by the highway. He once went 53 days without taking a bath. This is Buck. He is my second cousin. He is pretty smart. Buck is going to be a dentist some day. He does all the work on our teeth. This is my sisters boyfriend for now. His name is Larry. He fixes lawn mowers in the city. My sister says he has a hairy ass. This is Michael. He used to be my best friend but got killed by a bus on the interstate. I still wear his underwear. These are 2 kids we throw stuff at. There used to be 3 of them. Mom says we can't throw heavy stuff no more. Jake holds the park record. He once jumped over 7 trailers. Jake crashed alot and talks real slow now. His doctor told him to wear a helmet. My uncle Marky is still having problems. He doesn't know what he wants in life anymore. He is a Veitnam War hero and now sells perfume at a department store. This is my step brother Phil. He had a hunting accident years ago. The bullet is lodged just over his right ear. It's hard to understand him sometimes and he always stinks like rotten cheese. This is my twin brother Bert. We were born 4 minutes apart. Bert made medical history when he fell out of my mom's ass during birth. I hate him. My great grandmother is lots of fun. She still chews tobacco and rides a bicycle. Grandma dates younger men with teeth. One of my mom's boyfriends. He has a rectal infection that makes him fart alot. I think he caused our dog Rebel to die. This is my sister Molly. Mom said she just showed up at our trailer home one day and never left. She bit the mailman. She loves to drink water from the toilet bowl. She smokes cigarettes too. We found Willy sleeping under our trailer one night. Mom is teaching him how to use toilet paper. This is my half brother Boomer. Boomer is going to be a policeman one day. He already patrols the interstate and stops the bad people. Walt dates my grand mom. He grows pumpkins on 7 acres of land. He likes chasing grand mom through his pumpkin patch in his underwear. This is my 3rd cousin Smitty. Smitty works in a dog collar factory in the city. He works 10 hours a day, 6 days a week. Every electric dog collar is tested on Smitty before they are shipped to the store. Uncle Matt was just released from prison. Matt wants to be a Preacher at our local church. This is my sister's boyfriend Paul. He is running for Mayor in the city. He hates kids and old people. Our neighbor Mrs. Dot is taking him to court for spitting on her baby. He also wants to ban wheelchairs in the city. My half brother JimBob and his wife. She is pretty i think. They raise Possum in their back yard. They are not allowed to have children. My Family Photos
My Family Photos Part II :) Hi there...it is me again... a lot of pictures have been taken so I put together a new album. I hope you enjoy. This is my uncle simons. His name isnt really simons but he wishes to be called that because he wants to be like the famous fitness man that goes by the same name i think. This is my new step brother stevo. He isn't making a face in this picture. He actually suffers from a disease in his rear end that makes him constantly hold himself from having a bowel movement. If he isnt careful he will have a bowel movement anywhere he sits down. This is my new brother in law. A lot of people think he is a slow learner but he is really very smart. He knows how to count cards and wins lots of money in big casinos all over the world. This is my aunt Laura Lee. She is moving to hollywood to be a famous movie star. My mom and everyone sais that she looks a lot like Marilyn Monroe. This my moms new boyfriend. He is really into exercising and he works at our school as a gym teacher. He can slam dunk really high. This is my brother douglass. He was a magician until he got sent to jail. He used to do magic tricks with mice and sqirrels in front of all the little kids in my neighborhood. This is my sisters new boyfriend. He works on a farm. He is really good at tending the livestock. He usually smells like poo whenever he comes over. This is my uncle Al. He is always telling jokes and smiling. He works at the town bank. People like him a lot. He is one of the best bank tellers is what I hear. This is my best friend kyle. He taught me how to make internet pages. He is really smart and gets a lot of girls. This is Buck. He is our neighbor. He fixes cars up in town. Last year he was struck by a lightning bolt. This is the best photo I could get. This is Rodney. He lives with us for right now. He has a very long neck from eating too much beef jerky. He doesn't like when people take his picture. This is Nick. He used to be my best friend but he stole my girlfriend from me. I don't like him anymore. This is Jamall. He took my sister to this years prom. My dad doesn't like him because he says he has a flip mouth and a bad attitude. My sister says she is going to have a baby with him.