Earl profile picture

Earl

Proud to be a redneck piece a white trash!

About Me


Hi there! My name is Cleatus Merle Thornton, III. I live in Harriman, Tennessee. I have a twin brother named Cleatus Merle Thornton, IV. I was birthed three minutes before him so that makes me the oldest. Daddy wants all the boys named after him so that's why our names is the same, only different. I go by Earl. My brother goes by Merle. Anyway, Mama said I got all the good looks and the brains.

This here is the trailer I live in here in Harriman. I live here with Mama , Granny and my sisters. We got one of the nicest trailers in the park. I hope to have one this nice of my own one of these days. Mama says the state will help me since I'm on disability.


This here is our twins sisters. Theys a year younger then me an Merle. Thats Jenny on the left and LuAnn on the right. Theys a couple a stuck up whores. They are the prettiest girls in our family, but they wont give me the time of the day. Apparently that damn Merle is hung better than me. Fuck, em. They got little tits anyways...


This here is Mama. Her name is Betty Sue Montgomery-Anderson-McGee-Gaddis-Thornton. She has lots of boyfriends. A different one comes over just about every night. Shes addicted to meth. Funny thing is she didn't have quite as many boyfriends before she got on the shit. I heared her tell my aunt Tammy on the phone the other day that her boyfriends helps her pay for her habit. She still tells me I'm her baby boy. She's helping me save money for my own trailer.


Mama says she is almost positive this our Daddy. His name is Cleatus Merle Thornton, Sr. He and Mama got married a couple of weeks before me an Merle were born, but he don't live with us no more. He rides a Harley and he's a real outlaw biker. He left Mama for a girl he called a "younger model with less miles on her", whatever that means. He lives in California now. He says he makes a living as a "mule". I don't know what that means either, but I know he carries small packages from one guy to the next and trades them for a lot of money.


This is my uncle Hank. Hes in jail right now. We go to see him sometimes. They like him down there and they made him a trustee. When he gets out he is not allowed to be around farm animals and they said he cant work at a funeral home. Thats too bad cause he used to love being a chicken farmer.


This is Granny. She lives with us in our trailer. She smells real bad. She likes to hang out in bars and drink beer. When she gets drunk she can be a real bitch. She dont like Mama very much. She calls Mama "Cleatus's wife". I think she's mad at Mama for stealing one of her boyfriends.


This is my oldest brother, Cleatus Merle Thornton, Jr. We call him Junior. Daddy always said Junior favors my uncle Hank, but I think he looks more like Mama. Anyway, he lives in a Federal Penitentiary in Montana. Mama said he used to be a meth cook. When he gets out in 55 years we're gonna go fishing.


This is my cousin Karen. She has a eating disorder. She always goes to the bathroom as soon as she's finished eating. She has nice tits and has a crush on Merle. Thats Ok, though cause I got to hit it first. She has long butt hairs and it was a real turn off for me so I moved on. Merle can have er.


This is my cousin Cindy and her boyfriend Larry. I think she's the prettiest cousin I got. Larry is a real ladies man. Hes got a real good job up in Oliver Springs workin on lawn mowers. He helps me build my racin lawn mowers. Cindy says he has a hairy back and sometimes wears her thongs. She says they wont fit her no more after he wears them so she has to throw them away.


This here is Mike. He used to be my best friend but he got killed by a bus down on the interstate. I still wear his underwear. He was the coolest kid in school. We used to go coon huntin together.


This here is Donnie. He aint right. He lives two trailers down from me. He talks funny and hollers a lot. He don't like it when you touch his ears. I like to throw shit at him. He rides the short bus to school and licks the winders a lot.


My uncle Mark here is still having problems. He don't know what he wants in life anymore. He is a Vietnam war hero and has two jobs. On some days he sells perfume at the perfume counter at Wal-Mart. On other days he sells shoes at the mall.


This here is my cousin Phil and his girlfriend Sara. That bitch done fell out of the ugly tree. They are getting married as soon as she turns 16. She had a hunting accident years ago. The bullet is still lodged just over her right ear. Its hard to understand her sometimes and she always stinks like sour milk. Most poor folks do anyways. Phil, though, is real smart. He can write his name in cursive. Phil wants to be a dentist when he grows up. He already does all the work on our teeth.


This is my aunt Carla. Shes a phone sex operator. I call her sometimes just to hear what she has to say. If you pay extra she makes animal sounds. She sells her underwear on E-bay. I saw her one time on accident with her shirt off. She has big ol' sausage patty nipples.


This kid here lives in the trailer across the road. We're not sure if its a boy or a girl. It goes by Muffy. I'm pretty sure Muffy is a girl, but she looks a lot like her dad. Her mom rides around the trailer park in a motorized wheel chair. She has a rectal infection that makes her far a lot. I think she caused her last dog, Rebel, to die.


This here is Geno and Charlene and their kid, JoJo. Geno is the manager of the trailer park. They live in the double-wide up near the entrance. Charlene is hot and I want me some a that. They must be ritch cause they got two cars that run. Charlene works part time waitin tables and part time as a stripper. I don't like that little bastard JoJo. Hes always throwing rocks at Blue. They shoulda drownt that little asshole when he was born.


Other 4x4s at the Mud Bog

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Denis Leary -I'm an Asshole

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