Dear Murray profile picture

Dear Murray

WE ALL GOT FUCKIN PROBLEMS, LADY!

About Me

Advice? No advice here!

QUESTION: Can I call you?You betcha. 310-217-7638
COMPLAINT DEPARTMENT: If you'd like to complain, please write out all complaints on a 3"x5" index card. Write legibly and use black ink. Then, fold the card over and stick it really far up your ass, because Murray doesn't give a shit.



I realize that I am an incredible sex beast, and it's hard to control yourselves, but I'm taken. YOU WILL HAVE TO FIND ANOTHER HOMELESS STUD TO FILL YOUR GREAT ETERNAL VOID.BUT YOU CAN LEAVE ME A VOICE COMMENT MOTHERBITCHES!Get Your Own Voice Player Manage

My Interests

Tony: Do you consider the internet mostly good or mostly bad? Murray: It's hard to pick. It makes it easier for brilliant people to get subversive literature out there. It also makes it easier for people to post their shitty poetry.

I'd like to meet:

PEOPLE WITH PROBLEMS WHO WANT REAL ANSWERS NOT SOME DAILY NEWSPAPER BULLSHIT.
Also, anyone with a creative way to get dudes to look at this since I don't have tits.
If you like this shit, add me and tell your friends.
also, i'm really really tired of bitches jockin' my nuts.and unnecessary apostrophes.
Tired of trying to think of new and original comments for all those motherfuckers on your friends list? Try my new comment generator! Tell them everything you wanted to say about them, all at once!

Dear Murray 's Comment Generator
HI. Thanks for being my . I really think you can . I really look forward to . Love, MurrayJust copy the code from the box below, and leave it for your friends/foes today! Dear Murray 's Comment Generator HI. Thanks for being my . I really think you can . I really look forward to . Love, MurrayChat it up, bitches!

Music:

Tony: Do you think pop-music fans are mindless sheep that listen to whatever garbage the record companies put out, or do you think they just like that particular genre?Murray: I think most people are mindless sheep who really do like garbage. Try to explain DASHBOARD CONFESSIONAL, otherwise.

Heroes:

this guy:and this guy

My Blog

An office with a view

Dear Murray:For just one moment I would like you to feel my pain. I was approached by a Part Time employeee who has not DONE ONE TRANSACTION IN THE WHOLE TIME SHE HAS BEEN HERE. She came up to me and ...
Posted by Dear Murray on Mon, 09 Jun 2008 11:59:00 PST

Invasion of the granny snatchers

Dear Murray:My grandma died last friday, then they lost the body.What the fuck?We're looking at two distinct possibilities, here.Number 1: HOLYFUCK! COME THE ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE! COME THE ZOMBIE APOCALY...
Posted by Dear Murray on Thu, 29 May 2008 12:23:00 PST

Dear Murrays going BUSH LEAGUE

Alright, bitches. Press release time. The same folks who brought you BoingBoing.net have launched a new site: BushLeague.tv. It just launched a few days ago, and they're already demonstrating impeccab...
Posted by Dear Murray on Tue, 20 May 2008 05:44:00 PST

Judge JILF

Dear Murray:I am a criminal defense lawyer in a large, metropolitan area that will remain nameless to protect my ass for the following obvious reasons. I'll just say that as for the women in this town...
Posted by Dear Murray on Mon, 19 May 2008 12:49:00 PST

This is how elitist I’m becoming

I'm so elitist that I'm posting on the Daily Kos!How I learned to love my elitist selfThere are times in your life when you realize that you have become something that you never thought you would. You...
Posted by Dear Murray on Tue, 15 Apr 2008 11:48:00 PST

Eat a dick, Monday!

Motherfuck, I'm cranky (and lazy) today. After being woken up about 1562674562 times this morning, it's time for some collective venting.Eat a dick, ghetto birds. It's really fucking cool when you fly...
Posted by Dear Murray on Mon, 14 Apr 2008 09:24:00 PST

You’re the bottoms, I’m the top!

Dear Murray,I have a very urgent and serious question about homosexual males. What would happen if a Top meets a Top in a bar and they go back to one of their places for some gay sex? Or like a Bottom...
Posted by Dear Murray on Thu, 27 Mar 2008 12:48:00 PST

A Poll about BLACK PEOPLE

So, as you know, Murray's running for President, as a candidate of the NITROUS Party. Don't forget to register, bitches! Anyhow, the other day, I got this poll from the GOP trying to figure out just h...
Posted by Dear Murray on Wed, 27 Feb 2008 11:38:00 PST

Murrays Top 5 KOOKeriffic Conspiracies

Alrighty, folks. It's Conspiracy Wednesday again, and not just ANY conspiracy Wednesday! THE conspiracy Wednesday for the ages. Just this week, 15 boxes of files on the JFK shooting were finally relea...
Posted by Dear Murray on Wed, 20 Feb 2008 03:12:00 PST

Murrays Foolproof VD Day shopping list

Dear Murray,Why is it everyone else always has the super romantic guy that gives flowers and cards for no reason, makes dinner reservations for their woman's birthday or anniversary, or just thinks ab...
Posted by Dear Murray on Thu, 14 Feb 2008 01:12:00 PST