No woman of my intellectual capacity should ever be expected to sum up her vast interests in such a limited amount of space. As if! Oops, I just farted...smells like cabbage.Anyways, my *favorite* activity is shopping, shopping and more shopping! Let me break it down for ya: Anyone who says money doesn't buy happiness is either poor or doesn't live in Beverly Hills, aight!? I'm just keepin' it real! They don't call me Muffy "Rodeo" Mousekewitz for nothin'! I've got an American Express black card and honey I know how to use it! I say, "CHARGE IT!" in my sleep.
Okay, okay--I know what you're thinkin'. You're probably thinkin' I'm one of those stereotypical, shallow, high maintenance Beverly Hills girls who only dates uber-hotties. Well EHHH, you're wrong gf! I know it sounds corny, but my love is blind, aight? It's not what's on the outside that matters to me--it's what's on the inside (of your wallet) that counts. Yep, I'm a cashflow kinda girl. It takes a millionaire to tickle MY elmo, aight!? Multi-millionaire. So holla at me if you've got at least seven digits in the bank and be sure to include what kind of car you drive. I'll holla back if I can fit you into my schedule.
P.S. Please read my blogs! I'm not just a pretty face--I'm also a talented writer/rapper/advice columnist.
OMG I like *totally* dig Ashlee Simpson--I LOVE YOU ASH!!! She's like sooo talented! I like her song that goes, YOU MAKE ME WANNA LA-LA! IN THE KITCHEN NA NA NA NA...I don't know the rest. But yea, I like totally rock out to her tape when I'm cruisin' through the Hills in my Hyundai (YUP, I've got an '02 Hyundai Sonata WITH a sunroof! Don't hate!)OMG and I like LOVE Britney! She's like my brotha from another motha. I'm serious! I just bought her new perfume at Macy's and OMG! It's SO tits! I just hope Paris doesn't find out. Paris keeps wanting me to wear *HER* perfume but--between you and me--I think hers smells like a cross between cat urine and orangutang cootch. Ugh, as if! Can you imagine??
I'm going to use this space to say I think it's a disgrace that you people bought and sold my friend Paris's sex video. As if! I'm like HELLO--she's not even hot! If you wanna see some REAL buck-wild footage then you should see the tape I made this one time at band camp...
OMG you guys! My *FAVORITE* is when they like have one of those Beverly Hills 90210 marathons on like FX or whatever and OMG! I shit you not, I won't even leave the couch ONCE the entire day--not even to use the ladies room! By the time it's over I'm like totally chillin' in a pile of my own excrement. Paris tells me I should get Tivo so I can just pause it but I'm all, "HELLO!? The Tivo box like totally clashes with my living room ensemble!" Ugh, can you believe her!? I'm SO sure!
Books? What is books?
My hero is Donatella Versace. Donna helped me to overcome a hellish and ravaging eating disorder that consumed my life when I first moved to LA. I used to binge on banana-flavored Laffy Taffy and then vomit it back up, only to eat it again and again until my throat burned with the heat of a thousand suns. Through a combination of hypnosis and shock therapy, Donatella was able to free me from this debilitating affliction. She truly saved my life. It's been 46 weeks now since I last ate a Laffy Taffy. THANK YOU DONNA!
My Best Friend: