African-Navajo-Ewokian-American Comedian Tim Shaw profile picture

African-Navajo-Ewokian-American Comedian Tim Shaw

How would you fend off a bear?

About Me

I have come in second or third place in every comedy contest you've never heard of. If you are easily offended, do not...I repeat...DO NOT watch the videos above. They are for adults only and people who have the ability to hold two competing thoughts in their head simultaneously. This would cancel out most of the Religious Right.If you are bored and have nothing better to do, leave me a comment explaining how you would fend off a bear. I do this as a public service. Think of the lives we could save. And the bears we could wrestle. If you have any ideas about Zombie defense strategies, that might be helpful, too.

My Interests

Stand Up Comedy, Live Theater, Politics, Philosophy, traveling to New Zealand or wherever I'm not wanted by the authorities (You hear that, Luxembourg?! I was framed...FRAMED!!), hanging out with my wife and son, hiking, working out and small, pristine antique porcelain figurines painstakingly fashioned from the bones of the rare Andean titmouse by Yanomamo Indian children.

I'd like to meet:

YOU! At a show! Come and introduce yourself. See my calendar of shows above. I don't list them all. Just those I feel are worth a night out. I co-produce the show at the Alano Club of Fountain Valley. Click here for the details.

Music:

If you haven't seen Bob Schneider from Austin, Texas live, you are missing one of the best musicians and performers of our day. The Clash is the greatest band of all time. I also love Wilco, Everclear, Ben Folds, Martin Briley, Barenaked Ladies, The Mars Volta, Echo & The Bunnymen, Matthew Sweet, Third Eye Blind, Johnny Cash, Sugarcult, The Beach Boys, Mozart, Bach played by Yo Yo Ma, Toad the Wet Sprocket, Glenn Phillips, The New Pornographers, Feist, 0Fountains of Wayne, Blink 182, The Editors, The Shins, The Jam, Billy Harvey, Bob Marley, Stellastar* and much, much more!

Movies:

Top Ten Dramas: The Godfather, The Godfather II, The Mission, Apocalypse Now, Casablanca, Lawrence of Arabia, Traffic, Citizen Kane, Dirty Harry, High Plains DrifterTop Ten Comedies: Monty Python and the Holy Grail, Stripes, Monty Python's Life of Brian, Caddyshack, The Naked Gun, Hot Shots, Top Secret, Fletch, This is Spinal Tapp, Dumb and Dumber

Television:

Dear gods, I can't explain how totally and completely geeked I am about Battlestar Gallactica. I'm like a 12-year-old. Other shit I enjoy: Six Feet Under, Seinfeld, The Simpsons, Family Guy, The Shield, The Sopranos, The West Wing, Curb Your Enthusiasm, 24, The Daily Show, The Colbert Report, Robot Chicken, Metalocalypse, Xavier; Renegade Angel, Top Chef, Iron Chef America, Intervention, The History Channel. Discovery Channel and The Ultimate Fighter.

Books:

Nonfiction: Benjamin Barber, Neil Postman, Kevin Phillips, Al Franken, David Bryson, Howard Zinn, PJ O'RourkeFiction: Douglas Adams, Kurt Vonnegut, Aldous Huxley, Jack Kerouac, Hunter S. Thompson

Heroes:

My Nana, my Mom and Dad, my wife, my son, Bill Hicks, Richard Pryor, Lenny Bruce, Leonardo Da Vinci, Malcolm X, Charles Darwin, Albert Einstein, Benjamin Franklin, Robert Ingersoll, Douglas Adams and all my comedian friends who take a chance every night on stage.

My Blog

Why People Hate Government

There is a department in our government called the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and&Firearms. They’ve now added Explosives. Shouldn’t we be trying to keep these things separated? How do w...
Posted by African-Navajo-Ewokian-American Comedian Tim Shaw on Sun, 30 Mar 2008 02:24:00 PST

Hack Jokes From the Future!!!!

As a brilliant and accomplished comedian, I follow world events and popular culture pretty closely. So close, in fact, that many of the jokes I have told on stage have turned into reality. With that...
Posted by African-Navajo-Ewokian-American Comedian Tim Shaw on Sun, 24 Feb 2008 09:18:00 PST

Can we be done with Emopunk now?

"We're a punk band!"I actually heard this come out of the pretty little mouth of the lead singer for The Plain White T's.Seriously. Before deinstitutionalization, we could commit delusional people li...
Posted by African-Navajo-Ewokian-American Comedian Tim Shaw on Sun, 27 Jan 2008 12:32:00 PST

Porpoises, Logs and Marijuana

Many people say medical marijuana should not be legal. This may surprise you, but I agree. Fuck medical marijuana. Legalize recreational marijuana. I could care less about your glaucoma. I'd just...
Posted by African-Navajo-Ewokian-American Comedian Tim Shaw on Sun, 11 Jun 2006 11:18:00 PST

I Want MY Country Back!

I got stuck in the massive immigration rallies a couple of weeks ago.I am a dumbass. I surmised that the day of the protests would be a fine time to head to Ralphs for some grocery shopping.I was out...
Posted by African-Navajo-Ewokian-American Comedian Tim Shaw on Sun, 14 May 2006 01:02:00 PST

Neil Young

"I was waiting for someone to come along, some younger singer 18 to 22 years old, to write these songs and stand up. I waited a long time."--Neil YoungWhen I was a kid, my Dad was trying to teach me ...
Posted by African-Navajo-Ewokian-American Comedian Tim Shaw on Sun, 23 Apr 2006 06:03:00 PST