Captain Canard profile picture

Captain Canard

MOVE YOU FREAK!!!

About Me

Captain Canard is an experiment in demented wit, deranged absurdity, and odd humor. More information is provided at www.CaptainCanard.com .

My Interests

Humor, Comedy, Reading, Reading about humor and comedy, sketch comedy, Satire. I have an affinity for British comedy, particularly Beyond the Fringe, Monty Python, Black Adder, A Bit of Fry and Laurie, French and Saunders, Smack the Pony, and Absolutely Fabulous.

I'd like to meet:

Stephen Colbert, Amy Sedaris, Jon Stewart, John Hodgman, Sigourney Weaver, a literary agent.

Music:

They Might Be Giants, Dresden Dolls, Regina Spektor, Nellie McKay, Aimee Mann, Liz Phair, Counting Crows, Lyle Lovett, Kim Richey, Adrienne Young, Shawn Colvin, Dixie Chicks, Snow Patrol, Breaking Benjamin, Kennedy Rose, Tori Amos, Bare Naked Ladies, Garbage, Green Day, John Prine, Willie Nelson Iris DeMent, Johnny Cash's cover of "Hurt", Bobby Bare, Bob Dylan, Tom Lehrer, Celtic, Classical

Movies:

Blue Velvet, Animal House, anything with Harold Lloyd, anything with Buster Keaton, Marx Brothers, Dodgeball, Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy, 40-Year-Old Virgin, The Station Agent, most Woody Allen movies, Arthur, Office Space, anything by Monty Python or members of the group, Happiness, Being John Malkovich, Blood Simple, Raising Arizona, Fargo, Barton Fink, Best in Show, A Mighty Wind, This is Spinal Tap, Election, American Splendor, Moulan Rouge, All That Jazz, Pi, The Last Temptation of Christ, The Squid and the Whale, The Tall Guy, Fight Club, Calendar Girls, Hedwig and the Angry Inch, American Beauty, Silence of the Lambs, The Matador, The Jerk, Ghostbusters, Ed Wood, Adaptation, There's Something About Mary, Amazon Women on the Moon, Kentucky Fried Movie, The Boob Tube, Garden State, South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut, Seven, To Kill a Mockingbird, Pulp Fiction, Seven, Finding Neverland, The River's Edge, Sling Blade, Chicago, Glengarry Glen Ross, Harold and Maude, Wild Strawberries, Harold and Kumar Go To White Castle, Napoleon Dynamite, Jean de Florette, Manon of the Spring, Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf, Midnight Cowboy, Rules of the Game, Jules and Jim, The 400 Blows, The Bicycle Thief, Wings of Desire, Il Postino, Cinema Paradiso, Pulp Fiction, 8 1/2, La Dolce Vita, Betty Blue, Office Space, O Brother, Where Art Thou?, The Aristocrats, Jesus is Magic, The Descent, Little Miss Sunshine, Dr. Strangelove

Television:

Daily Show with Jon Stewart, The Colbert Report, Strangers With Candy, Upright Citizens Brigade, The Simpsons, Family Guy, American Dad, Most Adult Swim Shows (including Robot Chicken, Harvey Birdman, Squidbillies, 12 oz. Mouse, Aqua Teen Hunger Force, Brac Show, Sealab 2021, Space Ghost), Saturday Night Live, Arrested Development, 30 Rock, Late Show with David Letterman, SNL: Complete First Season (dvd)

Books:

My Uncle Oswald; Life is a Strange Place; Cat's Cradle; Slaughterhouse-Five; anything by Mark Twain or Woody Allen or S. J. Perelman or Robert Benchley or James Thurber or David Sedaris; Monty Python: All the Words; Riverside Shakespeare Complete Works; Ballad of a Sad Cafe; Reflections in a Golden Eye; A Secret History; The Prince of Tides; Silence of the Lambs; To Kill a Mockingbird; The Plague and I; World in a Phrase; America the Book: A Citizen's Guide to Democracy Inaction; The Areas of My Expertise; Oh, the Things I Know!; Pure Drivel; Coyote v. ACME; Thank You for Smoking; stories by Aimee Bender or George Saunders; Been Down So Long It Looks Like Up to Me; The Bell Jar; Catcher in the Rye; stories and books by P. G. Wodehouse, Flannery O'Connor, T. C. Boyle, Chuck Palahniuk, Jerry Stahl, Maggie Estep, Stephen King; Home Land; Handling Sin; WLT: A Radio Romance; The Things They Carried; An Underground Education; The Know-It-All; Blood Meridian; The Disheveled Dictionary: A Curious Caper Through Our Sumptuous Lexicon; The Deluxe Transitive Vampire: The Ultimate Handbook of Grammar for the Innocent, the Eager, and the Doomed; The New Well-Tempered Sentence: A Punctuation Handbook for the Innocent, the Eager, and the Doomed; Oxford American Writer's Thesaurus; Reading Like a Writer; Spunk and Bite; Fast Forward: Confessions of a Porn Screenwriter; Mr. Mike : The Life and Work of Michael O'Donoghue The Man Who Made Comedy Dangerous; A Futile and Stupid Gesture: How Doug Kenney and National Lampoon Changed Comedy Forever; Ant Farm and Other Desperate Situations; De Kooning; Tiny Ladies in Shiny Pants; I Love You, Beth Cooper.

My Blog

Parent Teacher Conference

In the classroom, MR. and MRS. KLEINDORF are seated in front of MRS. MORRIS, who is seated behind her desk. MRS. MORRIS: Thank you for taking the time to talk to me. MRS. KLEINDORF: It's no pro...
Posted by Captain Canard on Wed, 16 Jan 2008 08:40:00 PST

Santas Special Delivery


Posted by Captain Canard on Fri, 21 Dec 2007 11:35:00 PST

Santa TV


Posted by Captain Canard on Thu, 20 Dec 2007 02:05:00 PST

Santas List


Posted by Captain Canard on Wed, 19 Dec 2007 02:04:00 PST

Santa Sings


Posted by Captain Canard on Tue, 18 Dec 2007 03:51:00 PST

Santa Makes a Call


Posted by Captain Canard on Fri, 14 Dec 2007 02:13:00 PST

Theres Something About Santa


Posted by Captain Canard on Fri, 07 Dec 2007 04:12:00 PST

Chasing Moby

EXT. ON THE DECK OF THE SHIP, PEQUOD - DAYCAPTAIN AHAB is standing on the ship's deck, looking intently across the ocean. STARBUCK is standing next to him.STARBUCK: Sir, the men and I are worried abou...
Posted by Captain Canard on Sat, 24 Nov 2007 01:41:00 PST

Whats In The Hand? Contest Winner

Read the winning entry and a sampling of other submissions at Captain Canard...
Posted by Captain Canard on Fri, 09 Nov 2007 09:28:00 PST

Baby Candy

Still time to enter the "What Is In The Hand?" Contest at Captain Canard...
Posted by Captain Canard on Fri, 02 Nov 2007 06:41:00 PST