FORH Philly Pirate Cruise

WHY BUY YOUR TICKETS AHEAD OF TIME?
This year we have an extra added an incentive!
2007 5th Annual Pirate Cruise!
Saturday October 27th, 2007
6:00 pm - 10pm
$45.00
We will be boarding the Captain Lucky at 6:00 and sailing from 7:00-10:00.
One hour earlier than usual.
Also, the Captain raised his prices (again! Grr!) So, we will be charging $45. We don't like the yearly price anymore than anyone else, (we pay the ferry man too) but if we could sail the ship on milk & crack, we would. Until then, we have to keep using Rum Punch and diesel. Anyway, it's still a great value. Where the hell else do you get to eat drink and be merry dressed like a Pirate and ride on a big ass boat for Halloween?
Go ahead, tell us... Where?
Bring some extra cash to tip our extremely hard workin' bartender! If you like mixed drinks and shots, there is a cash bar too.
Don’t forget to ask your local pirate about pre cruise tickets because of the PIRATE RAFFLE! Each ticket that is purchased prior to the cruise will enter you in a raffle for exciting pirate prizes.
“When’s the cruise?”
Saturday the 27th of October
Where is the cruise
It is at 401 North Delaware Ave, Philadelphia, PA. Two blocks north of the Ben Franklin Bridge. Google Maps can provide you with directions far better than us seafolk.
Where do I get tickets?
We now have pre-sale tickets for $45 per person & will guarantee you and yours a space on the boat. Please see your favorite pirate for purchase, or contact us here & we can probably work something out. You will still be able to pay cash at the dock, but it's first come, first serve. The boat holds 150 people, so get there early enough so we don't have to shove you off the plank. No checks, money orders, plastic or I.O.U.'s will be accepted. Sorry if that's a pain, but we are pirates, not bankers.
“Should I dress like a pirate?”
If you don’t, you better look pretty darned good or ye will be walking the plank. Cleavage is strongly encouraged if you want a chance in the Sluttiest Pirate category.
“Can I bring a cannon?”
That all depends…can we aim it at you?
“Can I bring a real sword?”
NO! Goddamn it, how stupid can you be? Only WE have the REAL swords. Crowd control you know.
“Can I bring my dog?
NO!” Its too crowded anyway and there’s nowhere to take rover when he/she freaks out. It’s a boat folks.
“Parrot?”
We will confiscate it for our stew.
“Will you finally have enough friggin’ rum punch for everyone this year?”
We’re trying, we really are. Doubling the recipe this year.
“Can I pee off the side of the boat”
If we(e) catch you, castration is mandatory.
“Can I get a discount if I promise not to drink?”
No. Damn, what kind of pirate are you anyway?!! But we will be happy to drink your share. Though, We strongly encourage drinking-safely of course.
Why so expensive? I’m a poor pirate ya know?
The $40 pays the Captain, and well, that boat fuel is expensive. Us? Well, were just covering our costs. We add $5.00 per person to pay for the food, the rum punch, the prizes. putting up with you. Tipping the captain….Trust us, we are not making money on this. We just love being pirates! It aint no scholarship boat ya know.
“Parking?”
Yes, on the pier at the boat. It costs something, I forget, 5$ maybe? The crack Legal Pirate said to mention that whole drinking and driving, designated helper monkey thing.
You’ve been told.
Check back for more updates as the cruise approacheth.
Feel free to ask all the asinine questions ye like… but beware of burning sarcasm.