About Me

TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF - The Survey
Name: John
Birthday: March 7
Birthplace: South Orange, NJ
Current Location: South Philly
Eye Color: Brown
Hair Color: Brown
Height: 6'4"
Right Handed or Left Handed: Right
Your Heritage: Scottish/German
The Shoes You Wore Today: Black Chucks
Your Weakness: Kryptonite
Your Fears: Squirrels
Your Perfect Pizza: I guess one where the delivery guy accidently left a hundred dollars in the box or something.
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year: To be the America's next Top Model!
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger: I don't use those things very often
Thoughts First Waking Up: Where the hell are my shoes?
Your Best Physical Feature: My liver
Your Bedtime: when I get tired
Your Most Missed Memory: I used to know, but I forgot.
Pepsi or Coke: Beer
McDonalds or Burger King: Beer
Single or Group Dates: The more people who go, the better your chances of getting lucky, I suppose.
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: Beer
Chocolate or Vanilla: Both
Cappuccino or Coffee: Coffee
Do you Smoke: Yes
Do you Swear: Fuck no.
Do you Sing: I sing the body electric, bitch!
Do you Shower Daily: yes
Have you Been in Love: If by "in love" you mean "have every single facet of your existence dominated by a crazy person who wants to make every single second of the rest of your life a living hell", then yes. A number of times.
Do you want to go to College: Sure, I'll GO, I'm not going to DO anything...
Do you want to get Married: Are you proposing to me?
Do you belive in yourself: I "belive" you can't fucking SPELL!
Do you get Motion Sickness: no
Do you think you are Attractive: If by "attractive" you mean "drunk", then yes.
Are you a Health Freak: I'm not a freak at all! I don't like your tone...
Do you get along with your Parents: When they submit to my pain amplifying devices
Do you like Thunderstorms: yes, except when I'm on a three-hour boat tour.
Do you play an Instrument: not WELL
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol: Hahahaha! That's funny. I guess I'll just say... yes.
In the past month have you Smoked: Yes
In the past month have you been on Drugs: No, officer internet person.
In the past month have you gone on a Date: If by "date" you mean "go to a bar", then yes.
In the past month have you gone to a Mall: no
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos: no
In the past month have you eaten Sushi: no
In the past month have you been on Stage: no
In the past month have you been Dumped: If by "dumped" you mean "screamed at by a crazy homeless person", then yes.
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping: no
In the past month have you Stolen Anything: no
Ever been Drunk: Once or twice
Ever been called a Tease: yes
Ever been Beaten up: yes
Ever Shoplifted: yes
How do you want to Die: In a way that stuns people. I want my death to be spoken of in hushed tones hundreds of years from now.
What do you want to be when you Grow Up: A LITTLE BOY! IRONIC, HUH?
What country would you most like to Visit: Japan again
In a Boy/Girl..
Favourite Eye Color: I don't care
Favourite Hair Color: I don't care
Short or Long Hair: I don't care
Height: I don't care
Weight: I don't care
Best Clothing Style: Jedi robes
Number of Drugs I have taken: You keep trying to make me slip up, officer internet person, but it will not work!
Number of CDs I own: bazillions
Number of Piercings: none
Number of Tattoos: I think nine.
Number of things in my Past I Regret: 1
CREATE YOUR OWN! - or - GET PAID TO TAKE SURVEYS!

My Interests

Shooting canteloupes and honeydew melons. Plotting. Scheming. Cooking. Laughing. Cards. TV. The things my cats do when I'm not around. Movies. Being ABSOLUTELY UNBEATABLE at Star Wars trivia. Random, pointless, and often hilarious acts of stupidity. Football (the real American kind, not soccer for heaven's sake). Being a storehouse of useless information. Hanging with the FISTS. Kicking ass. Swimming in secret places in Jersey that no one knows about. Talking smack. Snowball fights. Go Cart Racing, Gambling. Travelling fucking anywhere.

The Zero:

Go to RESOURCE section!

I'd like to meet:

Fists of Righteous Harmony.
http://fists.us
FIST Site is back!!
Join us.

Music:

UK Subs, Sham 69, Iron Maiden, Slayer, Cock Sparrer, old Talking Heads, Ramones, Cop Shoot Cop, Helen Back and the Str8 Razors, Misfits, Submachine, Dir En Grey, Killing Joke, Johnny Cash, Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds, Iggy and the Stooges, Turbonegro, the Distillers, Clash, Rev Horton Heat, Dead Milkmen, Big Mess Orchestra, old Philly bands that don't exist anymore like Ninefinger, Ruin, Bunnydrums, Homo Picnic and National Wrecking Company. Too many to mention. I like lots of stuff.

Movies:

Just about any horror movie, Point Blank, The Man who Would Be King, Jaws, Delicatessen, The Killer, Apocalypse Now, Road Warrior, Kurosawa's Ran, Man Facing Southeast, The Outsiders, John Woo's The Killer, The Ninth Configuration, The Devils, Knightriders, The Thirteenth Floor, Dead Ringers, Requiem for a Dream, Dr. Strangelove, Cool Hand Luke, Birdman of Alcatraz, The Rainmaker, The Night of The Hunter, Do the Right Thing, Miller's Crossing. Il Buono, il brutto, il cattivo. The Outlaw Josey Wales, The Adventures of Robin Hood (1938 version), Resurrection, The Right Stuff, True West (1984 version), Godfather, Godfather 2, House of Games, Brazil, One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest, Lenny, Papillon, Midnight Cowboy, Marathon Man, Repo Man, Wings of Desire, The Tin Drum, Any Hal Hartley movie, Paris Texas, Down By Law, Citizen X, many, many more. I'm a movie geek.

Television:

Law & Order (ALL), The Simpsons, any stupid show. The TV that can be spoken of is not the true TV. My Lovely, lovely TV. A couple friends of mine got me the first three seasons of OZ on DVD for my birthday. And I'm still pissed that Homicide - Life on The Streets was cancelled, even though it was cancelled years ago. I also love old cop shows like Columbo, Mannix, Mod Squad and Kojak. Old Outer Limits and Twilight Zone episodes. Also, just about every cooking show. The Daily Show with John Stewart, Lost, Heroes, Scare Tactics, Old Speed Racer and 60's Spiderman cartoons. I wish I had a TV in this room right now. Actually, I wish that once a day, for a couple of hours, I could go back to 1973 and watch TV in the playroom with my sister and jump on the couch and pretend to be Ultraman.

Books:

Anything by Andrew Vacchs, Joe Lansdale, Frank Miller, Alan Moore, Warren Ellis, Grant Morrison, Neil Gaiman, and Garth Ennis. Katherine Dunn's Geek Love, Dorothy Allison's Bastard out of Carolina and Cavedweller, and Donna Tartt's The Secret History. The Dune books (even the crappy ones his son wrote). Anything by Neil Stephenson. Truman Capote is god.

Heroes:

Lee Marvin, Crazy Jane, Cliff Steele, Burke (and if you don't know who he is, you really should.) Spider Jerusalem, Muhammad Ali, and Alice Miller.

My Blog

Don't Fuck With Drake

Drake Hogestyn is apparently just like his character on "Days".Hilarious.Even more hilarious is how many people were compelled to make me aware of this news story. Thank you all. Between t...
Posted by John Black from Days of Our Lives on Mon, 08 Jan 2007 05:13:00 PST

Worst morning in recent memory

The alarm went off this morning so I got up, dressed and went to work. I had no change so I had to walk to Broad Street in the FREEZING COLD. I mean it was fucking COLD this morning. ...
Posted by John Black from Days of Our Lives on Fri, 08 Dec 2006 07:06:00 PST

Preferred list

Anyone who wants to be on my "preferred list", just send me a private message with your email address in it (the one you used to start your Myspace account). They make it so hard to add people t...
Posted by John Black from Days of Our Lives on Thu, 22 Jun 2006 08:07:00 PST

The Greatest Story Ever Told

A few months ago I was having a drink at Anna Marie's, a bar on 7th & Oregon, here in South Philly. People in the bar were dicussing an incident that occurred down the street at the Fireside...
Posted by John Black from Days of Our Lives on Tue, 20 Dec 2005 06:47:00 PST

L&O: SVU

You're John Munch! Which Law & Order: SVU character are you? brought to you by Quizilla...
Posted by John Black from Days of Our Lives on Wed, 02 Nov 2005 05:50:00 PST

Well? How much?

Quantum materiae materietur marmota monax si marmota monax materiam possit materiari?...
Posted by John Black from Days of Our Lives on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

Alcohoroscope?

Your Pisces Drinking Style If you're a Pisces, you've probably already heard that you share a sign -- and an addictive personality -- with Liz Taylor, Liza Minelli and Kurt Cobain. Not only do Pisces ...
Posted by John Black from Days of Our Lives on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

Another Tuesday night...

Last night, I was involved in an unholy conspiracy, hours of meticulous work just to play an ingenious practical joke on a friend. During this process, and half a bottle of rum later, I ...
Posted by John Black from Days of Our Lives on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

Finally, a GOOD dream

Last night I dreamed I was Eartha Kitt's love slave on an episode of the Love Boat. I'd just like to thank whoever pumped nitrous oxide into my bedroom last night to make this possible. ...
Posted by John Black from Days of Our Lives on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

What next?

So, I come home from work yesterday, pour myself a glass of iced tea (the super-sugary generic stuff, anything weaker is for pussies), and sit on the couch next to my wife. Me: How was your day? ...
Posted by John Black from Days of Our Lives on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST