Bengt Washburn - ProfilesArchive

About Me

I am 41 years old with a wife, a daughter and a relatively new son. I have tendonitis in my shoulder, a 14 inch vertical leap, eight pair of shoes, and a small but growing lump on my right thigh. Maybe I'll post a picture, see if any of you MySpacians have any ideas. My doctor (she also belongs to other people, I share her) says that it isn't dangerous, just ugly I guess. At least that's what some kids at a water park told me.
----- I have also been told by several people that I look like a monkey. Even complete strangers. Like the drunk woman in Moorehead, North Dakota, who shouted under her breath (she thought she was whispering), right into my friend Troy's forehead: "Your friend looks like a monkey!" Troy told her she was rude and should apologize. I thought it was very nice of him to stand up for me. He is a true friend. ----- I am a stand-up comedian (13 years- 9 for a living). In my comedy show I often talk about being an unaccomplished Mormon and other stuff too. You can check out my website at www.getbengt.com , where you can buy my DVD "Mormon Meets World," or my new CD "Hell Bengt." I also have an old CD, "Get Bengt - The Road Show." Its on XM radio now. I don't sell it anymore because I stopped telling most of those jokes.
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My Interests

Sleep, showering, kids and wife, stand-up comedy, art, politics, a little golf, and skiing.

I'd like to meet:

Thomas Friedman, Jared Diamond, Steven Pinker, Woody Allen, my parents when they were 19, Mark Twain, Tiger Woods, David Sedaris, the Popes doctor, L. Ron Hubbard, Sponge Bob Square Pants, the list goes on...
Large groups of people in theatres and comedy clubs who actually paid to see me do comedy. Just about anybody after a show as long as they aren't too bent.

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Music:

This list changes constantly. Current favorites that you may not have heard of: Dan Bern, Josh Ritter, Built to Spill. Christine Fellows. And some you may have heard of Tom Waits, Steve Earl- (thanks to Stankowicks)

Movies:

I like the ones with sound. I know I should like the Great Train Robbery and all the Charlie Chaplin movies but I don't. An occasional Laurel and Hardy is really good. Never really got into the Three Stooges either. I love "Life of Brian" and "Blazing Saddles". One of the funniest movies I ever saw was in black and white "Tomorrow Night", a Louis CK film.

Television:

Deadwood

Books:

Some books I love:
The World is Flat, The Blank Slate, Confederacy of Dunces, Billy Collins stuff.

Heroes:

The usual suspects: Jesus, Ghandi, Abraham Lincoln...
Some unusual suspects: Joseph Smith, Brigham Young and all my Mormon Pioneer ancestors.

My Blog

We All Share the Blame

This isn't just Wall Street and Congress who have been living it up, we regular Americans have been partying too and its time for all of us to claim our share of the blame. I, for one, have been very ...
Posted by Bengt Washburn on Fri, 10 Oct 2008 01:08:00 PST

My New Corporate Set for AIG Executives.

OPENER- laugh in their face for 25 minutes.CLOSER- 5 minutes of "crowd work". Go into the crowd and punch them in the face.
Posted by Bengt Washburn on Thu, 09 Oct 2008 08:30:00 PST

Do We Have to Call it a Bail out?

If we are going to call it a "bail" out, then don't some of these people have to spend at least one night in jail? And don't they have to appear in court later?I think Angelo Molina, former executive ...
Posted by Bengt Washburn on Tue, 07 Oct 2008 02:48:00 PST

A Pattern of Crime

I have picked up on a pattern in this wall street crime. Michael Milkin, Ken Lay, Martha Stewart. Do you see the pattern too? All of these criminals are rich old white men. When are the police going t...
Posted by Bengt Washburn on Fri, 03 Oct 2008 10:04:00 PST

Bad Priorities

How screwed up are our governments priorities? Were they were so busy inspecting the plastic seals on the aspirin, conducting ongoing investigations of the fumes coming out of our cars, and putting ex...
Posted by Bengt Washburn on Wed, 24 Sep 2008 09:52:00 PST

Our Airlines Suck

Southwest was fined for flying planes with cracks in the wings. According to a company spokesman, "none of those planes was operated in an unsafe manner." What does that mean? When they tossed them th...
Posted by Bengt Washburn on Fri, 14 Mar 2008 10:20:00 PST

Its a Miracle! Carbon Offsets remove CO2 AND Guilt!

I am reposting this blog in honor of Al Gore's Nobel Peace Prize. If you go to this link-http://www.businessweek.com/magazine/content/07_44/b405 6001.htm?campaign_id=nws_insdr_oct19&link_position=link1...
Posted by Bengt Washburn on Sat, 05 May 2007 01:20:00 PST

Uglyism is Alive and Well

This blog was inspired by a real news story from the Detroit News&In Detroit, party promoter Ulysses "DJ Lish" Barnes announced that he would cancel a women's party that offered free admission to blac...
Posted by Bengt Washburn on Sat, 13 Oct 2007 01:13:00 PST

Grand Canyon Chronicles excerpt - rough draft

On his death bed, the Great English Actor Sir Donald Wolfit said, "Dying is easy: comedy is hard." His words are especially true at the Grand Canyon. More than one clown has s...
Posted by Bengt Washburn on Tue, 18 Sep 2007 03:56:00 PST

Stop Racism NOW! Start Bombing at Random!

Has anybody noticed that during the Iraq war we have been killing Arabs exclusively? Isn't this RACIAL PROFILING? Shouldn't we be killing people at random? I'm pretty sure that's what they would do at...
Posted by Bengt Washburn on Fri, 16 Mar 2007 10:57:00 PST