The Shane Hebert profile picture

The Shane Hebert

About Me

I hate reading bios and blurbs where someone goes on complaining that they dont know what to write about themselves. If you have gone this long and do not know who you are and how you would like to present yourself to others I feel bad for you. (Not to the degree that I will cry empathetically or timidly attempt to pat you upon your head in a soothing, if somewhat patronizing, manner, but to an amount and extent, none the less.) I dread falling into such a clich.. with every fiber of my being, yet as I stare into the abyss of such things it appears that it is there that I have been led. Think, damn me, think. Ive never had problems before when it came to ranting endlessly about myself, but perhaps that is the problem. Ive already written it all so many times that I am incapable of doing it again. I need something new. A new fact, something original, something amazing, something that can change the world and bend time and grow hair on the chests of a class room of 2nd graders instantaneously and feed all the starving Ethiopians and end global warming and stop racism and assure equal wages for any woman who works along side a man and turn lead to gold and.. I think I built it up too much. I dont have anything like that. Sorry.

My Interests

I'd like to meet:

People who can define themselves in terms larger than "getting fucked up" or "clubbing." I know it sounds like a tall order, but I'm pretty sure they exist somewhere out there. As far as romantic entanglements go I do foster some slight fetishments: I like librarians, archivists, prose writers, photographers, singers (jazz and classical if i had to choose), transcendentalists, and the well read. I admire powerful and opinionated women, conversationalists and thinkers, who surprise me everyday. Now that, admittedly, is somewhat of a tall order, but the beauty of youth is in thinking that you have all the time in the world to search for such things.

My Blog

Saturday Morning Watchmen

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YDDHHrt6l4w
Posted by on Sat, 14 Mar 2009 05:01:00 GMT

The Official The Shane Hebert Twitter Micro-blog is ONLINE!

As we are all aware I live a fascinating life of upmost import.  Many of you have come to me in recent years asking for greater entrée into that world, and as I am prone to do, I have responded t...
Posted by on Sat, 29 Nov 2008 22:53:00 GMT

Surprising Surprises Surprise Many

Well, I don't know if you've been following the Mayan 'end of the world' calendar, but you can mark one more sign of the apocalypse off your list: I, Shane Stewart Hebert (not my real middle name) dan...
Posted by on Mon, 15 Sep 2008 09:36:00 GMT

it keeps getting better or worse (depending on your orientation)

So, first it was Bernie Mac and now Issac Hayes is dead. I'm getting worried. I'm almost out of black celebrities that I have bothered to learn the names of. We need police cars circling Malcolm Jamal...
Posted by on Sun, 10 Aug 2008 23:10:00 GMT

It’s Funny Cause It’s Funny

A dirty gypsy once cured me of my racism with a tablespoon of spit.
Posted by on Sat, 09 Aug 2008 22:13:00 GMT

Disaster Movie: This Movie Makes Parts of my Brain Eat the Other Parts

Scary Movies 1-4, Date Movie, Epic Movie, Meet the Spartans, Superhero Movie, and now Disaster Movie.. Quick question: who the fuck watches these things? Someone has to be watching them. I mean,...
Posted by on Wed, 06 Aug 2008 02:03:00 GMT

Ive Got a Bat for YOUR Belfry

I was checking IMDB today and apparently THE DARK KNIGHT has an IMDB rating of 9.5& nine point fucking five.   It beats out The Godfather's 9.1 to make it the highest rated movie in history (as f...
Posted by on Mon, 21 Jul 2008 20:00:00 GMT

shane made a personal ad for me.

I realized today that it was silly of me to put effort into getting my friends laid on the internets when there was someone else, even more deserving of having had been laid, still going wanton... I'm...
Posted by on Tue, 08 Jul 2008 01:56:00 GMT

Marco Bastion - Word Warrior

I think the following are funny, but I seldom have the opportunity/audacity to use them in public: Comeuppance, sassafras, dongle, ninny, oscilloscope, rotunda, episcopal, hirsute, mollycoddle, nipper...
Posted by on Sun, 22 Jun 2008 23:50:00 GMT

Found Art

"With one brave, historical, act,I will win your love,now, and for all eternity." John Hinckley, Jr. to Jodie Foster (It would almost be romantic if he weren't about to try to kill the president....
Posted by on Sun, 22 Jun 2008 20:43:00 GMT