Scott Bennett profile picture

Scott Bennett

I'M BRINGING V.D. BACK

About Me

So here's the deal: The last time I went to update my profile, I accidentally erased the original stuff that I originally wrote about myself. I know, I'm a retard...but I'm not a little ferry, goatface jerk like you, so there! Anyway, my name is Scott Bennett and I'm a comedian/interpretive dance instructor for gerbils with breathing disorders...no, Richard Gere has never been a client. After years of being in an abusive relationship with a hairy woman you probably know as Hillary Clinton, I've decided to expand my horizions and date good looking dykes who REALLY know how to take control of a good cigar instead. As long as they're genuine, real, down to earth women who have huge implants, anything's possible...and I mean anything! Snapping turtles are not out of the question. I make sure that when I speak I mean what I say and I NEVER repeat myself. In other words, I will never repeat anything I say. Or, as I like to say; I never, ever repeat myself. A lot of times I like to walk around my house naked and think about the beginnings of Lucky Charms and what our world would be like without them. Sure, these are abritrary thoughts to you, but for me they're the basis of my life...well, that and nuns that can do amazing things with hang gliders...yes, those kinds of things! On a more serious note and as far as my comedy is concerned, I'm completely NON-POLITICALLY CORRECT! I make fun of everything, so if you're Black, White, Irish, Jewish, Mexican, Spanish, French, Greek, Arabic, deaf, dumb, blind, fat, short, skinny, Democrat, Republican, Arabic one more time, etc., and you get offended because you would rather walk around with a chip on your shoulder instead of having AND sharing fun and laughs with everyone so we can concentrate on how we can laugh together instead of hating each other apart, then you may want to stay outside the place I'm performing hating the world for all the injustices instead of laughing inside with your friends. Love and peace to everyone and I hope to see you soon!:)

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My Interests


My awesome dog, Sam:), Boxers, Dogs, Stand-up comedy, Playing Piano, Writing and Arranging music, HUGE Pro-Football fan! (Go Pats)! Baseball, (Go Red Sox)! History, Politics, Analyzing Behaviour, Animals, Women that are deeper than their make up, Computers

I'd like to meet:


TweakingMySpace.comDennis Leary, Shecky Green, Bill Belichick, Tom Brady, Tedy Bruschi, David Ortiz, Jordana Brewster, Kate Beckinsale

Music:

Anything but opera.

Movies:

My Life, Defending Your Life, Baseketball, Ocean's 11, Batman Begins, Spiderman 1 & 2, The Departed, Wedding Crashers, It's a Wonderful Life, King Kong, Rocky III, Rocky Balboa, The Penetrator, Something Deeper This Way Cums, Busty Cops II & III, Big Boobed Black Broads.

Television:

Family Guy, Curb Your Enthusiasm, 24, The Office, Pro Football, Queer Eye for Jerry Falwell, Sly Stallone Speaks Spanish.

Books:

"Deliver Us From Evil"- Sean Hannity,

Heroes:

Don Rickles, David Foster, Christopher Reeves, Vanessa Williams ,Ronald Reagan, Tom Brady, Wesley Autrey, William Hung, Kevin Federline

My Blog

Quick question

Please let me know your input:For the love of God, why do all these hot chicks on My Space purse their lips in their pictures? Do they wanna kiss the camera man? Did they just get done eating a lemon?...
Posted by Scott Bennett on Tue, 13 Nov 2007 06:40:00 PST

9/11 an inside job? WAKE UP, NUT JOBS!

Ok, you guys, I'm a comic. Now that I've reached the point that I do this for a living, I could pretty much have at least 75% of my day doing completely nothing, except on travel days, if I chose.That...
Posted by Scott Bennett on Thu, 08 Nov 2007 08:32:00 PST

Best friends

K, folks, time for lecture time again from your's truly. Today's subject is friends. Yesterday, a SELF-PROCLAIMED best friend of mine who becomes a ghost about 90% of the time unless he/she needs some...
Posted by Scott Bennett on Sat, 14 Jul 2007 02:52:00 PST

I got dumped for Peter Brady!!!

I just found out that my ex-fiancee, who I let go of because I wanted HER happiness, started dating Peter Brady (Christopher Knight) right before we broke up! We subsequently got back together a littl...
Posted by Scott Bennett on Wed, 27 Jun 2007 12:27:00 PST

Two hours I'll never forget.

Two HoursI am so very blessed.Again, I got to step through heaven. It was just for two hours, but for that two hours I got to recall how I knew every strand of her hair, every one of the millions of c...
Posted by Scott Bennett on Sun, 15 Apr 2007 01:21:00 PST

Stop it with the narcissist bull shit!

K, just so you know, I'm not knocking women. That being said; I'm so fucking sick and tired of hearing of how ex-husbands or boyfriends are controlling and narcissistic! Grow up! Despite what you...
Posted by Scott Bennett on Sun, 15 Apr 2007 01:15:00 PST