Paul profile picture

Paul

I am here for Networking

About Me

Comedian. Writer. Hacky Sack champion (Alaska. 1982. Novice Division)

Don't forget to visit the Temple of Vitriol where I take down every company who comes out with shoddy products or gives me backhanded customer service.

Check out the poisoned barbs at:

The Angry Stockbroker

My Interests

I'd like to meet:

Jesus. He owes me five bucks. Also, the guy who invented the leaf blower. I'd like to wake up this douchebag every morning with a coffee grinder six inches from his pillow. Next time I'm sitting in a park and some leafjockey blows half a world of dust in my face I'm going to kill that guy and bury his remains in a wind farm.

My Blog

Toothbrushes Evolve, Mouths Stay the Same

Proctor & Gamble redesigns the toothbrush. Latest one includes push broom and car battery. Angry Stockbroker still can't reach back teeth. Click here to read The Angry Stockbroker
Posted by on Sun, 08 Apr 2007 08:57:00 GMT

Banana Jackings Shake Up Wall Street

Colombian terrorists target sexually shaped fruit. Angry Stockbroker goes undercover to bring beautiful South American crime lord to justice.Click here to read The Angry Stockbroker
Posted by on Thu, 29 Mar 2007 21:37:00 GMT

Angry Stockbroker Suffers Myocardial Hand Infarction

Angry Stockbroker apologizes for not pounding out 500 words a day on blog. Feels bad but girlfriend, cat, and kid hold celebration. We promise to keep bringing the funny but not on such a hand crushin...
Posted by on Wed, 28 Mar 2007 00:30:00 GMT

Help Neuter America's Youth!

Angry Stockbroker devises plan to sterilize American teenagers by cleverly using their cell phones against them. Features videos of two young men caught in the act of neutering themselves.Click here ...
Posted by on Sun, 25 Mar 2007 22:36:00 GMT

America's Dogs Too Fat To Lick Themselves

Pfizer comes out with a diet pill for dogs just in time for bikini season. Also, we find out how The Angry Stockbroker gives his dog pills.Click here to read The Angry Stockbroker
Posted by on Thu, 22 Mar 2007 23:06:00 GMT

Coke Ignores Human Rights Violations. Continues to Sell TAB

Coke brings back the worst soda ever made. Angry Stockbroker digs up two of the most bizarre commercials ever made from the 60s and 70s.Click here to read The Angry Stockbroker
Posted by on Wed, 21 Mar 2007 01:30:00 GMT

G-String Bandits Rob Bank of America.

Two Strippers, tired of pole burns and wrinkled singles, rob a Bank of America. Angry Stockbroker laughs himself into convulsions then loads shotgun as he prepares to shoot fish in barrel. Click here ...
Posted by on Mon, 19 Mar 2007 00:44:00 GMT

Man With No Legs Kicks Starbucks Customer in Head

Starbucks gives out free coffee. Downtown Seattle in ruins. Local Hutu's and Tutsi's afraid to leave homes.Click here to read The Angry Stockbroker
Posted by on Sat, 17 Mar 2007 00:30:00 GMT

Lunesta Punks America With Sleeping Pills

FDA announces 13 different brands of prescription sleeping pills cause people to wake up in strange places in weird circumstances with no memory of what happened. Politicians and religious leaders sto...
Posted by on Fri, 16 Mar 2007 00:30:00 GMT

Weasel Broker Nancy Beaumont Wins First Place. Takes Life In Own Hands.

Nancy Beaumont took first place in Week 1 of CNBC's Stock Challenge. Chances are good that money or tantric favors changed hands. There are almost 250,000 people playing and at one point she held 11 o...
Posted by on Wed, 14 Mar 2007 01:26:00 GMT