I, "The Sea Baron", am by my own definition - a Gentlemen's Profiteer, a Hard Fisted Influencer, or as the unsophisticated denizens of the world prefer to call me, a pirate.
I'm 5'11" with a strong midsection insulated by a thin layer of fat (in the event that I fall off a boat, the blubber is needed so can survive the cold water). I can throw a javelin or a boarding hook about twenty five yards about three times in a row. I've killed all manner of mammals and monsters, I've insulted immortals and laughed at my fellow man over complex ironies that only I understand and care not to explain. I've kissed many, contracted the Hep occasionally, and loved only once. I've got a great sense of direction, and can run one hundred yards naked in hard rain in less than a minute.
I've been known to get involved in arguments I know nothing about, I'm the first to throw a drink in someone's face if I suspect I'm being insulted and I carry a handkerchief and gun powder should I need to cauterize a bullet wound.
I'm deceptively handsome from afar, I batted .287 my senior year, and love a good book.
With these things said, should you be looking to join my list of friends via the information superhighway, keep in mind my criteria is nigh impossible to meet, as I hold myself to a standard that would make Neptune himself crap his toga. So sayeth... TSB