The Way of the Atheist
I support the Unicorn Museum !
Sam Harris at Idea City '05
Atheist Life vs. Religious Life
It is common when discussing the Invisible Pink Unicorn to point out that because she is invisible, no one can prove she does not exist. This is a parody of similar theistic claims about God, i.e. that because God is omnipresent, inability to detect Him does not reduce His believability, one person commenting that trying to find god is like using a metal detector to search for unicorns in one's sock drawer (The skeptic checks all the drawers.)The IPU serves as a parodic demonstration that utilizing a lack of evidence as proof of a deity's nature is ultimately absurd; that by this logic the IPU is just as credible as God. The IPU's two defining attributes, invisibility and color (it is pink), are inconsistent and contradictory; this is part of the satire.
The IPU vs. FSM Holy War
"Invisible Pink Unicorns are beings of great spiritual power. We know this because they are capable of being invisible and pink at the same time. Like all religions, the Faith of the Invisible Pink Unicorns is based upon both logic and faith. We have faith that they are pink; we logically know that they are invisible because we can't see them." — Steve Eley
Who Does God Kill?
Why Does Faith Deserve Respect?
Merychippus Monoceros
I Am An Atheist
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The Purple Oyster, also known as the "Purple Oyster (of Doom)", or "PO(oD)", is said to have once been one of the minions of the Invisible Pink Unicorn, but was cast out of Her Pastures for the Great Evil of attempting to convince believers of the heretical notion that pepperoni and mushroom pizza is more pleasing to Her than pineapple and ham.In the Eley manifesto, IPUs were said to punish nonbelievers by pricking them with their horns; the pain of which was typically blamed on mosquitoes, which do not actually bite people but were said to be drawn to IPUs as horseflies are to horses.
Thank God I'm an Atheist!"For I did see my unworthiness in Her sight, for I was a sinner, destined forever to spend existence in the presence of the unholy Purple Oyster, waxing his shell and massaging his most wretched and slimy feet. For lo, the Purple Oyster doth truly have feet, and the legs thereof, and the toes thereof, giving him dominion over all the clams of the seas, and allowing him to go unto the children of men, and tempt them unto destruction." — The Revelation of St. Bryce the Long-Winded (Partial), Chapter One, Verses 9 to 11
Over time some agreement has developed regarding her attributes, with the most humorous and incongruous generally gaining the greatest consensus. For example, it is more or less agreed that she is partial to ham and pineapple pizza, although some vegetarians dissent, arguing that since IPU is vegetarian, it must be pineapple and mushrooms. Pineapple, anyway, is agreed upon, as is the fact that she despises pepperoni.
Another point of agreement is that IPU "raptures" socks, which accounts for their otherwise inexplicable tendency to disappear. Socks raptured from your laundry are allegedly a "sign" of favor from IPU — or it could be disfavor, depending on who is asked, or perhaps upon which socks are raptured. Skeptics might suggest one seek a deeper understanding by looking under the washing machine's agitator for "raptured" garments.
The name of the Invisible Pink Unicorn in jocular discourse is usually followed in brackets by a sentence such as Blessed Be Her Holy Hooves, Peace Be Unto Her, or May Her Hooves Never Be Shod, which in turn are often shortened to bbhhh, pbuh, or mhhnbs respectively. These epithets recall, and are perhaps intended to satirize, the Islamic practice of adjoining epithets to the names of Muslim prophets, most famously Muhammad.