Angry Stutterer

Bitter since 1973, Angry Stutterer's oral communication is hindered by repetitions, prolongations, and laryngeal blocks. Relief was unsuccessfully sought from the pseudoscience of speech pathology. Therapy was eventually terminated as no speech-language pathologist could tolerate his pungent flatulence. The development of an avoidant personality was troublesome, but no surprising. Introversion led to his appreciation for the printed word, though he confesses that purchasing books is more satisfying than actually reading them. He can frequently be found with a vacant expression on his face in the philosophy or mythology section of the local Barnes & Noble. By day, he is a laboratory wage slave regretting his decision to study geology. In the evening, he is either dissociating from reality with his Xbox 360, or punishing himself at the gym. He attempts to assuage his misery with classical music and has an affinity for Bach's cello suites and the symphonies of Mahler. Although he favors music of the romantic era, he appreciates such modern atonal composers as Lemmy Kilmister and Tom Araya. He also finds solace with a golden retriever, black coffee, gray skies, and redheads. Sometimes categorized as a miserable prick, Angry Stutterer is better understood as a benevolent misanthrope with a sardonic sense of humor.