Dr.Bizarro (Deceased)

I'd like to meet:

DR.BIZARRO'S DETAILS:

NAME: Dr. Erastus Longpig Bizarro, O.B.E

WEBSITE: DrBizarro.co.uk

BLOGS:

SEX: Mostly Dirty

AGE: Minus 331 (I'm from the future).

BODY TYPE: Monkified.

JOB DESCRIPTION: I put the cherries on Bakewell tarts.

Also: Dog catcher, Bill Cosby's body double.

IDEAL JOB: 18th-Century composer, body-snacher, pedlar of dubious medicines,1950's trickster/conman, Russian spy, master art forger, spaceman.

PETS: 1 Spider-monkey, dragon, two-headed python, robot dog, Ronnie Corbett.

IDEAL PARTNER: Benny Hill show types. Curvey, big pointy bazookas.

BEST SUBJECTS AT SCHOOL: Art, Maths, P.E, beanbag-frog making.

LIKES: Music, off-beat animation, hot-air balloons, bubble cars, logic-defying gadgets, bouncy castles, fireworks, ball games, airships, vintage video games, funny crap drawings, films , shiny things (motorcycles, guitars, robots, starships) , Jet-packs, Spaghettis, Sugar-puffs.

HATES: Kryptonite, cinnamon, musicals, panto.

FAVOURITE ACCENT: Soft Welsh for girls...sexy!

FAVOURITE FOOD: Cat food.

VICES: Choco milkshakes, crap TV, tea & biscuits, coco-pops.

PHOBIAS: False Teeth and limbs. Stumps .

SCARY THINGS: Dolls, ventriloquist dummies, clowns and golliwogs, the Crankies, randy old people, pigeon feet, things with horns on.

STRENGTHS: I have Jedi reflexes, I can move objects with my mind. Ingenious lover.

WEAKNESSES: I've the shortest possible concentration span for the mundane.

REGRETS: I regret that the likes of Sue Pollard and Noel Edmunds take up space in my head. I may have read too many Rupert books as a kid.

MOST EMBARRASSING MOMENT: Getting caught stealing a cake.

FAVOURITE COMEDY SHOWS: Rainbow, Brookside, Pingu, Stars in their eyes.

FILMS:

The Fly II (1989):

"After Seth Brundle (Jeff Goldblum) was "debugged", his son, Martin Brundle (Eric Stoltz), born of the human fly, is adopted by his father's place of employment (Bartok Inc.) while the employees simply wait for his mutant chromosones to come out of their dormant state. And thus "THE FLY" is reborn!!"

Hawk the Slayer(1980):

"Hawk, having suffered the ignimony of watching both his father and fiancée die at the hands of his brother, Voltan, sets out on a quest for companions to aid him in his fight to stop his brother's reign of evil and free the Abbess." (Click Image for excellent Clip!)

Empire of the Ants (1977):

"Sleazy scam artist Joan Collins tries to sell phony real estate deals down in the Florida everglades. What she and her unsuspecting buyers don't know is the area has been taken over by giant ants! For they shall inherit the earth... sooner than you think!"

Wolfman:

"Upon the death of his brother, Larry Talbot returns from America to his ancestral home in Wales. He visits a gypsy camp with village girl Jenny Williams, who is attacked by Bela, a gypsy who has turned into a werewolf. Larry kills the werewolf but is bitten during the fight. Bela's mother tells him that this will cause him to become a werewolf at each full moon. Larry confesses his plight to his unbelieving father, Sir John, who then joins the villagers in a hunt for the wolf. Larry, transformed by the full moon, heads for the forest and a fateful meeting with both Sir John and Gwen. (Click Image for Trailor) "

Gojira / Godzilla (1954):

"A 164-foot monster reptile with radioactive breath is revived, thanks to nuclear testing. It goes on a mad rampage, destroying Tokyo - how will they kill it? "

FAMOUS LAST WORDS: "F***...... I'm snookered".

ARCH ENEMY: Professor Rufus Cockstarter, MBE:

Music:

James Brown after a few....er... "Ales"?:

Mini Jaxon:

Captain Beefcase interview:

Monkey:

Another Captain...Kirk:

It's T time!