*Joe* profile picture

*Joe*

This year I want to be tragically hip without so much tragic. OK, fuck hip too.

About Me

Like most people on MySpace, I have serious emotional/sexual/political issues (take your pick) that I'm willing to share with the world. I'd like to help propel MySpace into the big noxious trash heap I know it's capable of becoming.

You will never see me write the phrase "but I digress" cause that's pretty much what's going on with this blog.

THE MYSPACE BLOG GRAVEYARD:
ALERT! ALERT! Godzilla:King of All Monsters Endorses Book!

A Recipe for Evil

Wired

LEAVE LIBERTY ALONE!

Bicycling Across Siberia

Bad Writing Contest: The results show and other stuff

It’s All a Metaphor for Something

Cold Turkey

Pepé Le Pew - PART II
J’Accuse! The Sexual Harassment Trial of Pepé Le Pew (PART I)

Betty Boinks Bedrock

Acme Dearest

The Aarvark Goes – WTF?

Aye Robot!

Rolling on the floor with English

Quit staring at my Hiatus

The Ghastly Crumb Tiny Celebri-bet

Tuesdays with Tony

Even More Reviews for Youse

A Grouchy Blogger Foresees His Self-Deletion

A Review of Everything

The One Minute Bible

The Compleat Asshole

Internal Memo

DESTROY ALL CANDIDATES!!!

Surrender

The Ergonomics of Human Design and Creeping Featurism in Sex Toys

Intermezzo

Holy Innocence

The Enigma of Enigmatic Inscrutabilities II: Blog-podge Ragnarok

The Enigma of Enigmatic Inscrutability

Prick Up Your Tails!

The Pros and Cons of Enchiladas

You’d Better Watch Out!

Last Minute Toy Buying Guide for the Obscure

Confessions of a Middle-Aged Drama Queen*

A Million Little Pizzas

Like a Good Neighbor

Good Fences Make Pissed Off Neighbors

The Power of Cheese

Fright Month: It Came From The Left!

An uncharacteristically unfunny non-blog (UPDATED)

Oldest Neo-Conservative Crotch Critter Tells All

Lawn Darts

Probe Me Deadly, My Love

Suburban Still Life

A Blog Tag Now Re-do

What I Had For Breakfast

The Six Day War

Jehovah's Witness Protection Program

How to Write Bad Poetry

Dog Park Bullies

WTF?

"Everywhere I go, I'm asked if I think the universities stifle writers. My opinion is that they don't stifle enough of them." - Flannery O'Connor


My Interests

I'd like to meet:



Music:

Schoolhouse Rock, Patti Smith Group

Lefty

and so on.

Movies:

I'm a big fan of dystopic film futures like A Clockwork Orange, Mad Max, Blade Runner & Brazil. But I think that they're far too optimistic in their outlook.

Television:

24/6 Wednesday is kind of a dead space.

Books:

With the right marketing these things could one day replace the Internet.

Heroes:

Ham, Salami, Provolone w/ lettuce, tomatoes, oil and vinegar.... to go please.

My Blog

Contractual Obligation Blog

So I've been tagged by multiple people. I usually let these things build up to critical mass but since it's a snowy day here I'll get this out of the way now. I've gotten two tags recently from S@lly ...
Posted by *Joe* on Fri, 22 Feb 2008 08:31:00 PST

Another blog (most emphatically NOT posted by yours truly) posted elsewhere

Annoying isn't it? Yet another blog OVER THERE to read.  I'll be back here eventually.Today may ask the candidate any question you like and he will respond.Wear your track shoes. He responds quic...
Posted by *Joe* on Wed, 06 Feb 2008 07:51:00 PST

ALERT! ALERT! Godzilla:King of All Monsters Endorses Book!

Rinji news o moshiagemasu!Rinji news o moshiagemasu!Godzilla ga ginza hoomen e mukatte imasu!Daishkyu hinan shite kudasai!Daishkyu hinan shite kudasai!Hello Puny Humans!Today blog have special purpos...
Posted by *Joe* on Tue, 29 Jan 2008 10:55:00 PST

A Recipe for Evil

Cattle. I hate you all.The cleaver rises. Silver glint beneath ichorous red in the harsh glare before descending into the breastbone.*THOK!*Last night.The messenger had finally come to her. Black and ...
Posted by *Joe* on Fri, 25 Jan 2008 12:41:00 PST

Wired

"If they think you're crude, go technical. If they think you're technical, go crude.""I'm a very technical boy."- William Gibson - Johnny Mnemonic (1981)What an amazing age we live in!I was reading an...
Posted by *Joe* on Tue, 22 Jan 2008 03:47:00 PST

LEAVE LIBERTY ALONE!

ALERT! ALERT! ALERT!New York City faces imminent attack by a giant monster!Today marks the US release of  'Cloverfield', the story of a bunch of kids partying it up in the Big Apple when suddenly...
Posted by *Joe* on Fri, 18 Jan 2008 11:53:00 PST

Bicycling Across Siberia

"One of these things is not like the others,One of these things just doesn't belong,""Can you tell which thing is not like the othersBy the time I finish my song?"In my previous blog about metaphors, ...
Posted by *Joe* on Fri, 11 Jan 2008 12:00:00 PST

Bad Writing Contest: The results show and other stuff

Well the contest is now officially over and we have a winner. A new star brightens the MySpace firmament and its name is Redactional Mendicant. All praise to him. Read him. Subscribe to him.Huzzah! Ho...
Posted by *Joe* on Thu, 03 Jan 2008 10:03:00 PST

Its All a Metaphor for Something *UPDATED UPDATES w/ vote count*

Note: THE BAD WRITING CONTEST RULES ARE AT THE BOTTOM OF BLOG IF YOU WANT TO SKIP RIGHT TO IT. (sure, be a dick and don't read my blog)I haven't blogged in a while. I've been conducting an experiment ...
Posted by *Joe* on Wed, 19 Dec 2007 08:32:00 PST

Cold Turkey

Though not technically a repost - this is a re-edit of an old blog. If you've read it... oh crap, just read it again.I kicked open the front door and unloaded a few rounds into the dark. Steve stepped...
Posted by *Joe* on Thu, 22 Nov 2007 10:08:00 PST