Slow Joe, aka

Slow Joe, aka "Hooba"

I am here for Friends and Networking

About Me

I have a motto in life: “Don’t live according to any stupid-ass mottos”. Obviously, I kind of fly by the seat of my pants. I’ve read in a lot of girl’s singles ads that they “want a goal-oriented guy who knows what he wants in life and how he’s going to get it”. I want to ask all these girls, “Hey, do YOU know what you want in life?” To me, anyone that thinks they have life already so figured out that they know exactly what their goals are has overly-simplified the whole thing. Life is a beautiful chaos. I make sure to change my goals like I change my underwear: almost daily.

My Interests

I'm mostly interested in not having any annoying interests.

I'd like to meet:

Anyone who can get me off of my dead ass and actually make me get all of my material written, developed, and performed. And Keira Knightley.Oh, and by the way, I don't mind when anyone posts promotional stuff in my comments section, even including videos. But I DO have one rule: Any streaming multimedia (video or audio) That starts on its own as soon as my profile page is loaded will be automatically deleted.To put it simply, if you post a video in my comment section, a viewer should be required to press the "play" button for it to start. If it starts on its own, it will be immediately removed.

Music:

Man, I LOVE music! Like, I love that one song, you know, the one that goes duh-duh-duh BOOM duh-duh-duh. It is SO COOL. You know the one.Also, country music licks my sack.

Television:

Cheers is fantastic. So is Seinfeld. And Friends. Those are great great shows. Except that they no longer exist. And that everything else on TV is complete and utter crap. Unless, of course, *I* ever get on TV. Then that show automatically deserves an Emmy.

Books:

Is this where I'm supposed to write that I've read and really like some shitty old classic so I can pretend that I'm cultured and educated? Because, to be honest, I think I'm very intelligent, but I don't think I need to trudge through "The Catcher in the Rye" to prove that.

The truth is, I LOVE reading two authors: Michael Crichton for his amazing science fiction, and Dave Barry for his amazing humor.


So stick THAT in your pipe and smoke it.

My Blog

Random Crap VII: A Little Randomness and a Lot About Stand-up Comedy

1. I once read or heard that a recording artist gets paid something like a quarter for every time one of their songs get played on the radio.  Judging by what gets played on the "hits from the ...
Posted by Slow Joe, aka "Hooba" on Sun, 11 May 2008 09:19:00 PST

The True Story of MySpace Chain Bulletins

I know that I should rarely use the word "hate" because it has such strong negative connotations, but sometimes the situation just calls for it: I HATE MySpace chain bulletins. A chain bulletin i...
Posted by Slow Joe, aka "Hooba" on Thu, 08 May 2008 08:09:00 PST

Blog Whoring Bulletins (UPDATE)

I've been known to be wasteful in my life.  I've wasted youth, I've wasted money, I've wasted time, I've wasted energy, and I've definitely wasted a few brain cells here and there.  Howeve...
Posted by Slow Joe, aka "Hooba" on Tue, 06 May 2008 08:12:00 PST

Just Listen, Dammit

You can't just take any idiot blogger and have him make a podcast. No, it takes a special kind of idiot blogger to actually want to embarrass himself like this. Anyway, have a listen to this exercis...
Posted by Slow Joe, aka "Hooba" on Fri, 02 May 2008 08:07:00 PST

Random Crap VI: Im Not Positive There Have Been Five Previous Ones (UPDATED with replies)

1. I know what you're thinking: "Can this really be? A brand new blog from Slow Joe? Well, smack me on the boobies or kick me in the ding-dong, whatever the case may be!" Yeah, I know, it'...
Posted by Slow Joe, aka "Hooba" on Thu, 17 Apr 2008 08:00:00 PST

All the Mysteries of the World: SOLVED! (UPDATED)

Update:  Sorry for the delay in brilliantly replying to all the comments.  I am sure many of you were awaiting my incredible and immortal answers to your ordinary human questions.  Un...
Posted by Slow Joe, aka "Hooba" on Fri, 04 Apr 2008 07:49:00 PST

If Im Going to Help You With Your Leftovers, Please Have Good Roadside Manners

It was a typical Saturday morning, which for me meant I was in as great a mood as one can possibly be.  Well, as great a mood as one can possibly be when his head is pounding and his mouth tastes...
Posted by Slow Joe, aka "Hooba" on Mon, 31 Mar 2008 07:57:00 PST

I Got Served (Replies)

Thirty-six. That’s my age, but a part of me basically refuses to believe it. And that is the part of me that decided to go play indoor volleyball last night. I should know better. ...
Posted by Slow Joe, aka "Hooba" on Mon, 24 Mar 2008 08:46:00 PST

The Wasp Exterminator (Replies)

Due to the embarrassing nature of this story, I have to keep the person featured in it completely anonymous. So, no matter how many times you Loyal Readers ask, I absolutely will not reveal that it w...
Posted by Slow Joe, aka "Hooba" on Thu, 13 Mar 2008 08:29:00 PST

Self-Help Books Certainly Dont Help Me

For the most part, I try to keep my social life out of my blogs. This is because I have a lot of good friends, and I’d like to keep (most of) them. However, I have decided to implement a new S...
Posted by Slow Joe, aka "Hooba" on Sat, 08 Mar 2008 08:38:00 PST