I have plenty of fascinating interests: Havin' as much fun as I can before I get so old I have to wear a nappy. Lowbrow art, boss sounds, learning to lindy, pulp fiction, film noir, happy drunkenness, jazz-age cocktails, Stanislav Szukalski art and sculpture, good times, new friends, hats,
fully-fashioned stockings, high heels, Vegas, photography (real not digital, that's for chimps), Lomography, magnets, vintage and retro pin-ups, pomade, the machine age, the continuing struggle of the working class in determining its own destiny, The IWCA, bowling shirts, wrestling masks, tiki trash, vintage and retro pop-culture iconography, etc. I like to cherry pick what suits me in terms of attire, music and design from around 1935 to 1965.
I'd like to meet:
I'd like to go out drinking with Terry-Thomas and Leslie Philips at a convention of communist porno-nuns in a free bar deep inside a nuclear bunker festooned with Tretchikoff prints and Fritz Willis paintings whilst being entertained by the Saint Trinians go-go team dancing to Sing, Sing, Sing by Louis Prima.
If you request my friendship, I accept, and you fail
to communicate within 48 hours, you will be discarded
like yesterdays teabags. You'd be amazed how many
fuckers lack the attention span to read this. If your page takes more than 30 seconds to load I will conclude that either you are in the process of giving me a virus or you have put way too many pictures on your page in a transparent attempt to disguise your lack of words. Either way, you will be ignored/ deleted.
Persons who may join me on the
velvet sofa of righteousness.
garage punk types
reds, revolutionaries and progressives
stocking-clad harlots
Tourette's syndrome sufferers
masked vigilantes
humourists
lindy hoppers
cynics and sceptics
grumpy old bastards
Saint Trinians girls
mixologists
the mildly eccentric (but not mentally diseased)
thoroughly nice, loyal, thoughtful people
Persons who should slide down
a very long razorblade to deadsville
fascists of all persuasions (no matter how "respectable" they claim to be) and other anti working class excrement
anti-social elements (muggers, dealers, joyriders,
burglers, etc)
property developers, landlords, people that
'buy-to-let'
the clergy
every single 'reality show' participant ever
charlatans, quacks and homeopaths
bailiffs
yuppies
the advertising industry
fox-hunters and anyone in The Countryside
Alliance
art school knobs who think the swastika is an
appropriate fashion statement
wankers, tossers and pricks
Do NOT, under any
circumstances converse with me using 'text' speak
and/or incorrect grammar and punctuation. If you
do, I will send the goons 'round to your festering
abode where they will break your fingers with
pliers and insert the Oxford English Dictionary up
your well-worn rectum.
Despite all of the above negativity, I am quite a nice chap. I just wish everyone else was nice too.
LINKS OF THE DAY
MODERN DRUNKARD MAGAZINE
GOOD GIRL ART
VEGAN STORE
BAD SCIENCE
RETRO TIMES
HOUSE INDUSTRIES
GIG POSTERS
PINHOLE PHOTOGRAPHY
Music:
I get my musical kicks from garage-punk: old and new, swing: 40s and neo, kick-ass soul, fucked up blooze, punk, surf, sultry chanteuses, demented rock 'n' roll, early R&B aswell as the odd bit of lounge and some trusty Northern stompers.
Oblivians, Compulsive Gamblers, New Bomb Turks, Stingrays, Cee Bee Beaumont, Mooney Suzuki, Ray Charles, The Saints, BBVD, Reigning Sound, Now Time Delegation, Mora's Modern Rhythmists, Booker T & The MGs, Madame X, The Sonics, The Wailers, The Mortals, Harry James, The Mono Men, Thee Shams, Back From The Grave comps, Sons of Cyrus, Man Or Astroman?, The Witchdoktors, Snuff, Devil Doll, The Invisible Men, KO and the Knockouts, The Delta 72, Impala, The Insomniacs, Radio Birdman, The Redskins, The Nuthins, Chargers Street Gang, The Dexateens, Stax Records, Piano Red, The Insomniacs, Tamla Motown, Street Walkin' Cheetahs, Coyote Men, Shangri Las, Sons of Hercules, Louie Jordan, Reverend Horton Heat, The Snags, The Prisoners, Kings O' Nuthin', Thee Milkshakes, Solar Flares, Louis Prima, The Trashmonkeys, The Trashmen, Gluecifer, Hellacopters, Ray Collins' Hot Club, The Mistreaters, The Purple Things, Thee Cybermen, The Von Bondies, Dead Kennedys, The Bomboras, Stompy Jones, The Movement, The Hard Feelings, The Hives, Mensen, Blaggers ITA, Dragons, Electric Eel Shock, A Bones, Deadly Snakes, The Chronics, Alopecia Records, The Dirtys, Estrus Records, Halo Of Flies, Jack o' Fire, The Who, The Standells, International Noise Conspiracy, etc.
Elvis is dead. Get over it. And what the fuck is it with The Smiths? They were an utterly shit indie band with a bad lead singer.
Movies:
The Wind that Shakes the Barley, Land and Fredom, The Green Man, They Drive By Night, Dark Water, Scum, McVicar, Quadrophenia, Amelie, Asphalt Jungle, Carlito's Way, Swingers, Laurel and Hardy films, film noir, Raining Stones,
Battle of Algiers, Riff-Raff, Naked, Dockers, The Hill, Sergio Leone films, Nil By Mouth, French porn, School for Scoundrels, Make Mine Mink, Night Of The Hunter, Cape Fear, Out Of The Past, Delicatessen, Das Boot, M, Tinto Brass smut, nun porn, Gonin, Happiness, all St. Trinians films, etc, etc.
Television:
Anything involving general knowledge quizzes, schoolboy science or smutty ladies. So Dita von Teese on Mastermind with amateur rocketry as her specialist subject would be ideal.
Books:
A tiny glimpse into my library:
FICTION:The Ragged Trousered Philanthropists- Robert TressellThe Diceman- Luke RhinehartLondon Blues- Anthony FrewinHangover Square- Patrick HamiltonPop. 1280- Jim ThompsonNON-FICTION:The IRA- Tim Pat CooganModern Coin Magic- J.B.BoboThe Savoy Cocktail Book- Harry CraddockThe Newtonian Casino- Thomas.A.BassThe Big Con- David.W.MaurerBIOGRAPHICAL ACCOUNTS:Freak Like Me- Jim RoseFast & Louche- Jeremy ScottBanco- Henri CharriereHomage to Catalonia- George OrwellOne Day in my Life- Bobby SandsART:Devil's Advocate- CoopSome People Can't Surf- Art ChantryWeegee's World- WeegeeAtavistic Avatar- The PizzDreamland- Todd SchorrLowlife Paradise- Glenn BarrSMUT:Motel Fetish- Chas Ray KriderGil Elvgren- TaschenAntiCristo- Steve FentoneThe Adventures of Sweet Gwendoline- John WillieCheek!- Trevor WatsonBen Westwood- Ben WestwoodThe Glamour Girls of Bill Ward- Alex ChunThe Art of the Teese- Dita Von Teese
