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mywifenow

I am here for Networking

About Me


Well, now we've got that out of the way, why don't you pull up a pouffe and help yourself to a margarita...
OK, to business...
MY PHILOSOPHY: "IF YOU'VE NO MIND, YOU'RE JUST MEAT."
Disturbingly, some myspacers have assumed that this statement is a cruel dig at the mentally-handicapped, when that couldn't be further from the truth. What I mean by this is if you're blessed with a healthy functioning brain (as some sadly and unfortunately aren't), then USE it. Don't allow the media to numb your most valuable asset. Don't blindly accept everything you read in the papers or see on the TV - educate yourself in the issues that really matter and form your own opinion rather than subscribe to a pre-packed, homogenised and vacuum-sealed version of the truth. Turn off Big Brother and watch Question Time instead, and learn who the real villains are. Challenge bigotry. Quit the 'txt msgs' and fucking TALK to each other. In essence, what I mean is if you're gonna display a dumb herd-mentality then you shouldn't be too surprised if you're treated like burger-fodder. I hope this clears up any misunderstanding.
Now, I've spilled the beans on my (legal) interests elsewhere on this page, so there's not much more I can tell you that isn't intensely personal. One thing I can tell you is that I find it seriously facking irritating to be kickin'-back at a party or whatever, and to be asked "What is it you do?" and "Does that pay very well?" (as if it matters more how much someone earns than whether they're a decent human-being or not), yet the world seems to have to know this information: So, I earn my dough designing brochures, greetings cards, wedding stationery, letterheads and business cards, and restoring vintage photographs. Not very 'Rock 'n' Roll', I know.
But what I really like to do is paint. I don't think I'm gonna get rich doing it (especially if I don't get my website finished and get my work 'out there, man!') but we've already established that rich doesn't matter, right? Anyway, once I get this rootin', tootin', high-falutin' website done I'll stick a link on here but, in the meantime, if you're in a surfin' mood, visit my...
'RIB-CRACKINGLY FUNNY WEBSITE OF THE WEEK' (... or month, or year, or 'til I can be arsed to change it). Failing that, participate in m'goddaming fridge-magnet game...all's ya gotsta do is post a popular song title, but change one similarly-sounding word for a foodstuff!!

My Interests

MUSIC (unquestionably, my greatest passion - except Peejay, m'hubby, of course. See 'Music' below for who matters most...)

ART & ARCHITECTURE (Salvador Dalí, Gustav Klimt, Leonardo Da Vinci, Lucian Freud, René Magritte, Arthur Rackham, H R Giger, César Manrique Cabrera, Antonio Gaudi, Michelangelo Buonarroti, Frida Kahlo, Ralph Steadman, Alphonse Mucha, Todd Schorr, Banksy, Gerald Scarfe, Ray Caesar, Hunt Emerson, Shag, Coop, Vince Ray, Wes Wilson)
I also heartily recommend that you check out the hilariously brilliant CARTOONERY of Colonel J.D. Wilkes (Th' Shack*Shakers' frontman and gob-iron exponent extraordinaire) while you're about it

PHOTOGRAPHY (Henri Cartier-Bresson, Norman Parkinson, Jill Furmanovsky, Mick Rock)

CINEMA (see 'Films' below)

GARDENING (...the NOO rock 'n' roll! Pass me the hoe, ho! Ya dig?)

COOKING (Cajun, Thai, Mexican, Jamaican... just about anything with flavour, spice and colour. And all washed down with lots of lovely, appetising, nutrient-packed wine - it's part of my 'Five-A-Day' and I LIKE it that way!)

READING (see 'Books' not 'Berkshire')

GOOD TIMES WITH GOOD FRIENDS (y'all know who you are! Well, less do it agin real soon, y'hear?!)

I'd like to meet:



Of the famous folk 'still among us' I'd like to spend time with : DAVID BOWIE / JOSH HOMME (ginger AND sexy...who'dah thunkit?!) / RHYS IFANS (already met him, but I'd happily meet him in Brick Lane for another curry!) / DAVE GROHL / STEPHEN FRY / JOHNNY DEPP / GERMAINE GREER / B B KING / RICHARD E GRANT (saw him in my local Sainsbury's - we grappled for the last bunch of asparagus, but I let him win...he looked like he could use the vitamins! Next time we meet, I fancy a squabble over a globe artichoke) / BILL BAILEY (met him too, but once is not enough) / STEPHEN KING ... will probably add more later.

But there are those who I'll sadly never get to meet...

Thank you, Mr Ravenscroft, for pretty much everything you ever said and did.

My eternal respect also goes out to...

JOE STRUMMER
(for '(White Man) In Hammersmith Palais' and The Strummerville Foundation) / SALVADOR DALI (for 'The Persistence Of Memory' and his superbly-insane waxed moustache) / FRANK ZAPPA (for 'Sheik Yerbouti' and for kicking Susan Baker and those "bored Washington housewives" right in their collective over-privileged asses) / ANTONIO GAUDI (for La Sagrada Familia and proving that straight lines aren't essential) / JOSEPHINE BAKER (for The Rainbow Tribe and her war effort) / LEONARDO DA VINCI (for 'La Gioconda' and his beautiful mind) / BILLIE HOLIDAY (for 'My Man' and Cafe Society) / SPIKE MILLIGAN (for 'Puckoon' and his hatred of Muzak) / RONNIE BARKER (for 'Futtock's End' and four candles) / JOHNNY CASH (for 'Hurt' and 'Hundred Highways') / HAROLD LLOYD (for 'Safety Last!' and Technicolor) / DOROTHY PARKER (for "Excuse my dust!" and The Vicious Circle) ... thanks for everything, all of you.

That just leaves those who I NEVER want to run into (well, not without a funnel and a big bag of ground glass, anyway):


JEREMY CLARKSON (denim-clad neanderthal with a 'Superdrug' perm) / GORDON RAMSAY (greedy, self-aggrandizing dinnerlady) / BOBBY GILLESPIE (talentless, tiny-toothed, narcotic-hoovering plankton) / BERNARD MANNING (ignorant, cess-faced blubber factory) / JADE GOODY (see 'BERNARD MANNING') / GEORGE 'DUBYA' BUSH (murdering quarter-wit ... he doesn't even qualify as a half-wit) / PARIS HILTON (pointless, pigeon-toed media-whore) / BEZ (feckless, goggle-eyed cretin) / COURTNEY LOVE (botox-marinated fuck-pig ) ... can you feel the love? Thought not.

Music:



David Bowie / Frank Zappa / The Doors / Bob Marley / Foo Fighters / Graham Coxon / Queens Of The Stone Age / Grace Jones / Talking Heads / Squirrel Nut Zippers / Gorillaz / The Ramones / Calexico / Aretha Franklin (the early stuff only - I SO don't like the "I-Don't-Know-When-To-Shut-Up" wailing diva she's turned into) / Steel Pulse / The Police / Stevie Wonder / Elvis Costello / Captain Beefheart / The Clash / Joe Strummer and the Mescaleros / Nirvana / The Stranglers / Maria Callas / Billie Holiday / Iron And Wine / Scott Walker / Tom Waits / The WitchDoktors (SuperPunkRockAction!) / Beck / Th' Legendary Shack*Shakers / Django Reinhardt / Stephane Grappeli / Pink Martini / XTC / George Clinton / Funkadelic / Gotan Project / Arcade Fire / Roxy Music / Iggy Pop / The Good, The Bad &amp The Queen (yeah, yeah, yeah, I know it's the name of their album and not the band's name, but what you want me to do...leave a blank space?) / Blur / Louis Armstrong / Richard Hawley / Ry Cooder / Dusty Springfield / John Lee Hooker / Red Hot Chili Peppers / Devo / Nick Cave / B B King / Eagles Of Death Metal / Nina Simone / P J Harvey / Van Morrison / Kate Bush / Marc Bolan &amp T-Rex
Basically, I don't dislike any one genre of music entirely, but without a shadow of a doubt the song I detest the most in the whole wide world is 'Lucky Star' by Dean frickin' Friedman. If you wish to rile me to the point of homicide, just sing it to me...once will be enough.

Movies:

Withnail And I / To Kill A Mockingbird / Twin Town / Léon / Me, Myself And Irene / Pulp Fiction...
The Brave / Those Magnificent Men In Their Flying Machines / Good Fellas / The Godfather Trilogy (I &amp II only - the third one was a heap of soiled pants) / Psycho / True Romance / Bubba Ho-Tep / Grease / Angel Heart / Shaun Of The Dead / LA Confidential / From Dusk Till Dawn / Memento / Hot Fuzz / Nosferatu (though most assuredly NOT the version with Art Zoyd's amateurish and wholly inappropriate soundtrack) / What's Eating Gilbert Grape? / The Science Of Sleep / Bad Santa / Goodbye Lenin! / Dead Man's Shoes / Fear And Loathing In Las Vegas / Everything Is Illuminated (...she is Grandfather's seeing-eye bitch) / This Is Spinal Tap / Chopper / Oliver! / Sideways / Belleville Rendez-Vous (AKA Les Triplettes de Belleville) / Dogma / The Machinist / Reservoir Dogs / Amélie / The Pink Panther movies (except the last one - an abomination that should never have been committed to celluloid)

Television:

The League Of Gentlemen (...we didn't burn him!) / Green Wing / Spaced / Black Books / Danger Mouse / X-Files / The Survivors / Hong Kong Phooey (Penrific!) / The Mighty Boosh / Carnivàle / The Goodies / Big Train / My Name Is Earl / Tales Of The Unexpected / Spongebob Squarepants / Nighty Night / Thriller / The Simpsons / Crown Court / Futurama (...kiss my shiny metal ass!) /Play For Today / Hickory House / Animal Kwackers

Books:

To Kill A Mockingbird - Harper Lee / The L-Shaped Room - Lynne Reid-Banks / On Writing - Stephen King / Twelve Bar Blues - Patrick Neate / Margrave Of The Marshes - John Peel / The Vesuvius Club - Mark Gatiss / The Curious Incident Of The Dog In The Night-Time - Mark Haddon / Dublin - Seán Moncrieff / Tell No One - Harlen Coben / The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold / In Cold Blood - Truman Capote and all of James Lee Burke's 'Dave Robicheaux' novels

Heroes:

See 'Who I'd Like To Meet'...

My Blog

Have You Been Tagged...?

The Game: To everyone I've tagged in the list at the end of this blog: you should each write a blog about your own "Six Weird Habits/Things About Me", then choose six of&...
Posted by mywifenow on Fri, 25 Apr 2008 04:51:00 PST

If Only Blair Had Just Half The Nerve...

It's all too easy to classify the following statement as nothing but thinly-veiled racism (and many bleeding-heart liberal opportunists probably will), but speaking as a Brit...
Posted by mywifenow on Mon, 27 Nov 2006 08:29:00 PST

A SAD PASSING...

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who had been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were lost long ago i...
Posted by mywifenow on Mon, 30 Oct 2006 05:08:00 PST