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The Ballad of Harvey Krispin
Harvey Krispin is a quiet sort of person. Quiet, unassuming, shy. Harvey is the type of person a neighbor would say "He was always a quiet, unassuming and shy kind of person" after the said person slaughtered, oh, say, his family, a community or a school of breaded fish fillets.
Every morning, Harvey would begin his quiet day quietly. He drinks his allotted one cup of coffee - Harvey doesn't allow himself too much caffeine as that might lead to him becoming too excited - reads the morning newspaper, making rude comments about the government wasting his tax dollars, the events in other people's lives and even the how whiney professional sports players when they are making all that money. Then Harvey makes a few paper wads for his pet cat to play with. But, the cat never plays with the paper wads as it is too busy being dead.
After dressing in the same type of checkered suit he has always worn, Harvey gets in his little American-made car and putt-putts his way to the towering ice trays downtown. Along the way, Harvey amuses himself by making rude observations on the driving habits of other drivers who go zooming past him at 50 or more miles per hour. Driving fast is just another form of excitement and Harvey thinks there is far too much excitement in the world as it is. Harvey thinks the government should set the top speed limit at 45 miles per hour. Harvey also thinks the government should mandate that every American should only buy an American-made car. That would be good for the economy. But Harvey doesn't think the government should provide every American citizen with affordable health insurance. Harvey doesn't think government should interfere with the lives of American citizens.
Harvey spends his days working in an unassuming cubicle stuck in a corner of one of those ice trays downtown where he quietly works cooking the books for his employer while the authorities aren't looking. His highest ambition for work is to receive his own key to the junior executive washroom. Some day, with a lot of hard work and sacrifice on his part, Harvey may just get taken to the bathroom, too.
At nights, Harvey returns to his little unassuming house in the suburbs where he sits quietly watching television, throwing more paper wads at his cat, and waiting for his wife to return from her mother's house.
She left thirteen years ago.
He expects her back any time now.
Harvey thinks each person should spend his or her day quietly, unassuming, letting those in authority decide every facet of their lives. After all, that's why they are the ones in authority. If they didn't know what they were doing, they wouldn't be there.
We dedicate our work to all the Harvey Krispins in the world, but, alas!, they will probably never know of our work as they're too busy quietly losing their minds while watching the commentators on the Fox News Network.
The Harvey Krispin Show is an on going project. This is basically my hobby so I can keep creating. The show is designed to be an old radio program, like those my parents, possibly your grand parents or great-grandparents, grew up listening to.
There is a version of The Harvey Krispin Show with a graphic of an old style cathedral radio as the video. This is done for broadcasting on a few community access television stations. The audio only is the only version that will be offered online. Doesn't make much sense to broadcast the video version on anything but TV, does it?