Navin Johnson The Jerk profile picture

Navin Johnson The Jerk

mystickywicket

About Me

I am not a bum. I'm a jerk. I once had wealth, power, and the love of a beautiful woman. Now I only have two things: my friends and... uh... my thermos. Huh? My story? Okay. It was never easy for me. I was born a poor black child. I remember the days, sittin' on the porch with my family, singin' and dancin' down in Mississippi.
I know we've only known each other four weeks and three days, but to me it seems like nine weeks and five days. The first day seemed like a week and the second day seemed like five days. And the third day seemed like a week again and the fourth day seemed like eight days. And the fifth day you went to see your mother and that seemed just like a day, and then you came back and later on the sixth day, in the evening, when we saw each other, that started seeming like two days, so in the evening it seemed like two days spilling over into the next day and that started seeming like four days, so at the end of the sixth day on into the seventh day, it seemed like a total of five days. And the sixth day seemed like a week and a half. I have it written down, but I can show it to you tomorrow if you want to see it.

My Interests

My dog shithead. My thermos and my ashtray. And this paddle game, the ashtray and the paddle game and that's all. And this remote control. The ashtray, the paddle game, and the remote control, and that's all I need. And these matches. The ashtray, and these matches, and the remote control and the paddle ball. And this lamp. The ashtray, this paddle game and the remote control and the lamp. I don't care about another thing, not one. The paddle game, and the chair, and the remote control, and the matches, for sure. The ashtray, the remote control, the paddle game, this magazine and the chair.

I'd like to meet:

You. I know we just met, but do you think the next time you make love to your boyfriend you could think of me?

"Oh, I'm picking out a thermos for you.
Not an ordinary thermos for you.
But the extra best thermos that you can buy,
With vinyl and stripes and a cup built right in!
I'm picking out a thermos for you,
And maybe a barometer too,
And what else can I buy
so on me you'll rely,
A rear end thermometer too. "

LISTEN TO ME SING!!!!

Movies:

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Television:

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Books:

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Heroes:

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