If I wasn't a comedian I'd be doing something with food. I wanted to go to culinary school, not to be a chef, but just to be able to talk about food all day. I should be fatter than I am. I also like to play pool, watch netflix and order chinese, put myself on fasts and break them, lose my wallet, exercise at 10am while everyone else is at work, read cnn.com, hit 'home' on myspace 3500 times in the course of an afternoon, look for travel deals on orbitz even though i have no money, go to coffeeshops to write and spend the entire time on youtube instead, start blogs with "I couldn't help but wonder" and think about how my life parallel's with Carrie Bradshaw's, wander through barnes and noble when i'm down, plan how to change my life next.
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Cathy I'm lost I said, though I knew she was sleeping.
I'm empty and aching and I don't know why
Counting the cars on the New Jersey turnpike
they've all come to look for America.
"I felt when I walked in that there was something between us. There was an impulse that we were both following. So that gave me the right to come in and talk to you. Otherwise I never would have felt that I had the right to talk to you or say anything to you. I never would have had the courage to talk to you. And with him I felt there was nothing and I could sense it. When I walked in, I knew I was right. Did you feel that way?" - Travis Bickle - Taxi Driver
The Office is the only updated thing I watch anymore. I still watch FRIENDS, Sex and the City and Seinfeld regularly. Which sucks for conversating. "Hey did you see what happened on Lost?" "Um, I don't watch Lost, but the Soup Nazi episode of Seinfeld was on last night! NO SOUP FOR YOU! hahahaha!" "...right yeah... good one."
David Sedaris. Love Monkey - Kyle Smith. Augusten Burroughs. Chuck Klosterman. The Alchemist - Paulo Coelho.
Rachael Ray...You shut up. She makes a living travelling all over the world, and eating. Is there anything I'd rather do with my life? I love her.