Brian

Will the real Brian Willis please introduce himself?Contestant #1; Hi, my name's Brian Willis, I'm only twenty years old but in my short life so far I've discovered the cure for the common cold, solved the problem of world hunger, written a Booker-shortlisted novel, composed eight symphonies and given a simultaneous multiple orgasm to the entire Australian ladies beach volleyball team. My hobbies include chess, calculating pi to the four-millionth decimal place, and deriving esoteric and profound truths from the ingredient labels of Pot Noodle. Currently, I live in a hollowed out volcano in the south seas where I plot World Domination while surrounded by my elite bodyguard of kick-boxing supermodels.Contestant #2; Hello, my name is Brian Willis, I'm fifty-seven years old and I live in a supermarket car park in Neath, South Wales (one day they'll work out that I'm not an abandoned trolley). My interests include drinking Toilet Duck, swearing at lamp-posts, and amassing a fine collection of skin diseases, some of which have never been recorded by medical science in anything other than badgers.I would like it to be known that I am now separated from the strange fungal growth on my foot, but we are still good friends.Contestant #3; Hi, I'm Brian Willis, 44 years old (though this will probably change, dammit), father of three wonderful kids, writer of several short stories, 1 novel (SCORPION, co-written with Chris Poote) and editor of the British Fantasy Award winning anthology HIDEOUS PROGENY. I'm also a keen and active member of the Swansea Little Theatre, and have cracked the boards in several productions.AND THE WINNER IS- bugger, I can't remember.