John Milton - ProfilesArchive

About Me

The Myspace set-up procedure wouldn't let me put in my actual birthdate. They said it was impossible (quite quandrous, methought, sith here I am!!) Anyhow, nice to meet you. John Milton's my name, and bein a badass with a pen's my game. Believe it or not, I was born December 9, 1608. Unlike most people, I have absolutely no complaints about my parents. My dad rocks, and my mom rocks. I grew up in London, England, and then went to college at Cambridge, therein systematically proceeding to make myriads of very smart students feel egregiously stupid. I say this as no statement of arrogance but pure fact. I'm just a fucking genius. That's all there is to it. Anyhow, life got pretty damned rough and crazy after that. A civil war broke out in England when I was 30, cause the king was an indulgent dumbass. At the time I was vacationing in Italy with Galileo. So I raced home to fight with Oliver Cromwell to get the king thrown off his throne, and we did it. And everything was awesome, til Cromwell died and his son took over the Commonwealth and blew it cause he was an even bigger dumbass than King Charles I. To make it worse I started going blind cause I was up all night almost every night of every week by candlelight writing pamphlets trying to convince the people to stay independent - eventually blowing out both my retnas. Anyhow, long story short, the citizens eventually called Charles II back from exile to restore the monarchy. When that happened I was in pretty deep shit cause of all the essays I wrote convincing the people to cut King Charles' head off. Lucky for me, my poetry rocked so hard core they let me live. I lost almost all my money cause of all that shit, but I still wrote Paradise Lost, the only 12-book epic in English history. You should read it sometime. Trust me, it rocks.

My Interests

Writing tons and tons of poetry and translating Latin poems into English, and then translating them back into Latin with different wording; fighting against censorship, and generally rebelling against any kind of authority that comes to mind.

I'd like to meet:

Satan, Adam, Eve, Cain, Abraham, King Solomon, Theseus, Lycurgus of Sparta, Homer, Apollonius of Rhodes, Virgil, Horace, Ovid, Seneca, Venerable Bede, William Shakespeare, Sam Shepard and Lindsay Lohan.

Music:

Henry Purcell, J. S. Bach, Georg Telleman, Antonio Vivaldi, Joy Division and Trent Reznor.

Movies:

The Omen I and II and the Omen remake, Poltergeist, The Exorcist, The Da Vinci Code, The Hours and Pirates of the Carribbean.

Television:

Fuck TV...well ok, the History Channel's pretty cool.

Books:

Don't even get me started.

Heroes:

Anaxagoras of Athens, Aristides, Aristophanes, Demosthenes, Cicero, Origen, St. Augustine, Martin Luther, William Shakespeare, Galileo and, of course, Oliver Cromwell.

My Blog

Once again, mine all

The love I have received from Myspacers all around the world has truly humbled me. I have 14 friends to go to reach 1,000. The breadth of humanity that has contacted me invigorates me to heights of in...
Posted by John Milton on Wed, 09 Jan 2008 10:51:00 PST

A gruesome little 17th century flashack

Although I appreciate my fans' gracious commentary on the beauty of my verse, I've often thought the main reason authors of "my day" had such beauty in their work was due to the fact that many of our ...
Posted by John Milton on Fri, 13 Jul 2007 09:37:00 PST

Thank you Myspace friends

It's official...a mere minute ago i officially passed my protege Nairba Sirrah in my tally of friends on Myspace. Although I indubitably confess to recognizing the ostensive inanity of getting excited...
Posted by John Milton on Mon, 30 Apr 2007 11:38:00 PST

EVE to ADAM

I've noticed a lot of other poets post poems in their blogs, so I thought I would too. Below is out the fourth book of my Paradise Lost. Picture Adam and Eve naked under a tree about to go to sleep. E...
Posted by John Milton on Wed, 17 Jan 2007 06:06:00 PST

EARLY LIFE part III - Cambridge University

1625 was a big year for me. It was the year I was off to college. And it was the year King James died and his son Charles took over on the throne of England. No-one in the country had any clue how muc...
Posted by John Milton on Mon, 27 Nov 2006 07:00:00 PST

Go see Nairba Sirrah Oct.29

What can I say about this guy? He's nuts. He memorized the second half of the second book of my Paradise Lost in a week - 425 frickin lines. And this Sunday he's gonna perform it as a horror stor...
Posted by John Milton on Sat, 28 Oct 2006 10:39:00 PST

EARLY LIFE part II - little kid in London

The neighborhood I spent almost all of my childhood growing up in was completely destroyed by the Great Fire of London in 1666. I was very saddened when that happened. Cause St. Paul's Cathedral was i...
Posted by John Milton on Tue, 17 Oct 2006 11:31:00 PST

EARLY LIFE part I - my birthday

I was born at 6:30 in the morning of December 9, 1608 on an extremely cold day in snow-covered London. My mom said the wind outside was so cold it sang Christmas songs to her while she was having me. ...
Posted by John Milton on Sun, 16 Jul 2006 08:44:00 PST

Subscribe to me (my blog) I got some good stuff comin'

Heya Reader. For the next few blogs I promise no cussing. Don't worry, I haven't givin up on cussing cause it's fun ( I even have a ghetto rap album in the works). But for the next few blogs I'm gonna...
Posted by John Milton on Tue, 11 Jul 2006 10:16:00 PST

Nairba's opinion of Paradise Lost

I'll keep this brief. A cardinal sin for any author is to reveal their true intentions or sentiments or motivations for writing any particular work, be it poetry or prose or hip-hop. Even if a critic ...
Posted by John Milton on Sat, 17 Jun 2006 08:49:00 PST