Andy Juett - ProfilesArchive

About Me

About Andy Juett: Forget the comedy accolades and quips...let's focus on something a little more important right now...that would be Zack and Cody...and you should already know that if you're not the conductor of the train to Dum-Dumtown.I do a radio show. I do other various comedic poop (standup, stage show, shorts, film, tv etc.)Again...If we could just focus on Dylan and Cole Sprouse for a minute...I think we might all get a little bit more understanding about what kind of a world we live in.I don't want to be weird but I did win 2nd place in Punchline Magazine's haiku contest a while back. It's been a big year. I'd rather not get into all the other shit...just know that I can kill a whole village with one haiku. Ask Mubutu Town in Mali. Do it. ------------------------------------------------------------ ------
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Myspace Comments | Myspace Graphics | Myspace Surveys------------------------------------- Here's a disturbing video Sean "Tuffy" Rhoads made of me and K-Bizzle. Um...this doesn't really represent what I look like...but the fat belly button hair shots are actually me. For reals. I love me some sweaty, hairy stomach and 9 out of 10 ladies agree.

My Interests

Put me in a room full of elbow macaroni...toilet seat covers...1 inch paned fiberglass and some seashells and you're walking away with at least a half a dozen picture frames that will change your f'ing life.

I'd like to meet:

I met her. I'm in good shape now. Thank Jebus. :)READ MY BLOG NOW OR I'LL SEND HYENAS TO YOUR FIRST BORN'S CRIB. THIS IS NOT AN EMPTY PROMISE.Click Will Ferrell to read my friend Katie Robinson's blog. She's funnier than Michael Winslow.

Music:

Lupe Fiasco, Talib Kweli, Damien Rice, Aesop Rock, Kanye West, Ben Harper, Ben Folds Five, Bill Withers, Willie Nelson (occasionally,) James Blunt (call me a ’gina,) Herb Alpert and the Tijuana Brass, Michael Jackson (he’s really BIG in Russia,) David Bowie, Andy Juett’s Traveling Ukelele Brouhaha, anything by Astrud Gilberto.

Movies:

There Will Be Blood, Juno, Stripes, Blues Brothers, Caddyshack, Old School, Royal Tennenbaums, Zoolander, Hot Rod, Superbad, 40 Year Old Virgin, Knocked Up, Wedding Crashers, Blades of Glory, Napoleon Dynamite, The Brothers Solomon, Harold and Kumar Go...anywhere, Good Will Hunting, Braveheart, Fletch, Life Aquatic, The Departed, Goodfellas, A Mighty Wind, Best In Show, Waiting for Guffman, American Pie Movies, Hustle and Flow, Star Wars, Out of Sight, Ocean’s 11 and 13, The Truman Show, Back to the Future, Collateral, Heat, The Sting, The Bourne movies, Spinal Tap, LA Confidential, Crash, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind...and of course....TROLL.

Television:

I like the picture box. My gym teacher used to say "pitcher" instead of picture.My favorite show (since I was pooped out of my mom’s babyhole) is Saturday Night Live. Before I was a breathing infant I watched a LOT of Archie Bunker.I likes the Colbert Report, Daily Show, Human Giant, SNL Shorts directed by Akiva Schaeffer, Tim and Eric Awesome Show Great Job, Tim and Eric Nite Live on Super Deluxe, The Office. --------------------------------------------- Encounters

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Books:

I'm in FAVOR of books. The best book I ever read was Revolutionary Suicide by Huey Newton. I'm such a radical.

Heroes:

The Horse Whisperer. That mutherfucker is just straight up made of something DIFFERENT than the rest of us...also The Water Horse. He made me realize that I want to spend the rest of my life as a MAN.

My Blog

Andy Juett and Kristi Randall Take on Global Warming, For America

Global Warming is bullshit. It's a construct of a woman named Kristi Randall. Click above and read about it or I will fucking lose it. Or you can click the inevitably dissapearing cute cudd...
Posted by Andy Juett on Sat, 03 May 2008 09:54:00 PST

Andy Juett: Unofficially SECOND at the Vail Film Festival

Click here for the publicity tease about ANDY JUETT and company at the Vail Film Festival. This is old...so don’t email me and tell me this already happened unless you want me to catheter ...
Posted by Andy Juett on Mon, 07 Apr 2008 11:59:00 PST

I’m such a great political writer it hurts.

CLICK your own mouse for climax. Click this link for photos of Bill Clinton taking a dup behind a Chuck E. Cheese. Or you can click the picture of Hillary yelling at a woman for stayi...
Posted by Andy Juett on Mon, 31 Mar 2008 10:41:00 PST

Baracka-Khan I Feel For You

There were issues earlier...but they are gone now...PLEASE...feast your eyes on BARACKA-KHAN. I feel for you. Come on lemme rockya lemme rockya Baracka Khan. Cuz I feel for you. Ba...
Posted by Andy Juett on Sat, 15 Mar 2008 07:20:00 PST

Hillary Clinton’s Balls

Bill and Hillary are a couple we all need to understand so that we can understand ourselves. Wild mood swings. Wilder sex. That’s what Bill and Hillary Cinton are all about.&n...
Posted by Andy Juett on Sat, 15 Mar 2008 07:14:00 PST

Andy Juett takes on Gary Gygax R.I.P. Dungeon Master

CLICK HERE for my blog on Gary Gygax. He is gone but not forgotten. My 7 headed dragon hurts. Your +4 staff is erect. ...
Posted by Andy Juett on Sun, 09 Mar 2008 11:11:00 PST

Andy Juett has pictures of AC Slaters Dirtbox!!!

Holy ass crack. Click on Nick Lachey making out with Vanessa Minnillo and be transported into a world of paparazzi unlike you've ever seen. Paris Hilton eating the ass end of a rhino trough...
Posted by Andy Juett on Thu, 28 Feb 2008 10:51:00 PST

http://punchlinemagazine.com/blog/?p=649

Click it or Ticket America. Cops are out in DROVES. Think you can't wear a safe-belt up in this cizzountry and NOT suffer the consequences? THINK AGAIN! I'm Ted Nugent and I want you to re...
Posted by Andy Juett on Mon, 18 Feb 2008 07:08:00 PST

BIG TALK from Andy Juett/Punchline Magazine

CLICK HERE for some really BIG talk. Your kiss is on my list. So says Daryl Hall. My dad. My spiritual dad. Also...who wants to hear some Dido jokes? It's about time som...
Posted by Andy Juett on Sun, 17 Feb 2008 08:05:00 PST

Vince Vaughn Loves Andy Juett. PUNCHLINE MAGAZINE

I saw Vince Vaughn's Slim Slam Yoakam jam today. I liked it. Read my PUNCHLINE MAGAZINE commentary here and blow an o ring right out of your toot cramp! Unicorn stew on Tuesday at Rotary...
Posted by Andy Juett on Mon, 11 Feb 2008 11:11:00 PST