Comedian Ryan Maher profile picture

Comedian Ryan Maher

You are dancing to Heaven is a Place on Earth you dont scare me buddy!!!

About Me

WHAT IS EVERYONE SAYING ABOUT RYAN MAHER? SEE FOR YOURSELF:

"Being on a show filled with Howard Stern fans that are there to see Stern Show regulars (Dan The Song Parody Man, Don Jamieson, & Jim Florentine) had to be tough but Ryan took control and started off the show with a bang and had the audience rolling with laughter"- ROBIN QUIVERS (Co-host of the Howard Stern Radio Show, best selling author)
"A pro wrestler? A train conductor? Now a comedian!?!?!?!?! People are gonna start to think Ryan Maher just can't a hold a job. But if they go see him perform they will see that he found a career for life. He is a fantastic stand up comedian"- EMMY AWARD WINNING COMEDIAN DAVE KONIG (Former host of "The Dave Konig Show" on the USA Network, Analyst on Fox News O'Reilly Factor, and host of "Speak Now" on Sirius Satelite Radio)
"Good guy, a real funny dude, he's got a hot girlfriend but I think it's all a cover up and he may be gay. I'm not certain, but one time he was in the bathroom stall next to mine and started tapping his foot repeatedly"-COMEDIAN JIM FLORENTINE (Voices of Special Ed and Bobby Fletcher on Crank Yankers, Comedy Central's Meet the Creeps, Howard Stern Show, Co-Host of VH1 Classic's "That Metal Show")
"An incredible stage presence, great crowd work, one of the best young comedians on the East Coast" -DINO IBELLI (Owner of Uncle Vinnie's Comedy Club)
"There is nothing better then coming to a show and having a great crowd, and just one funny comic before you that goes up there and kills. That is what Ryan did, he has a bright future ahead of him, or maybe he doesn't since he looks like my stunt double"- ROBERT KELLY (HBO'S "Tourgasm", Mentor & regular opener for Dane Cook, Opie & Anthony, "Good Luck Chuck")
"Most of my openers get booed off the stage, it's remarkable how well he does when he opens for me"- THE LEGENDARY COMEDIAN DR. DIRTY JOHN VALBY
"A stage presence that demands attention. A true natural, very funny. He will be successful in any entertainment avenues he chooses to pursue"- THE COMEDY QUARRY 4/14 ENTERTAINMENT
"Why the hell do you shave your head? From where I'm standing you look like you could have a luxurious full head of hairrrrr.......Why shave it? And you got that stupid fucking goatee......What is it with you guys that shave your head and grow the goatee?.........I think goatees are stupid all you are doing is harvesting on your face what grows wildly on your ass.....Seriously though back to the shaved head........Do you think you are sexyyyyyyyyyyyyyy? Do you think you look like Bruce Willis or sumtin'? Well guess what fucko, your not and you don't" - ANDREW DICE CLAY THE UNDISPUTED HEAVYWEIGHT KING OF COMEDY
"We don't care how funny he or anyone else thinks he is, he needs to get a real job and move out of our basement"- PATRICK & ROBYN MAHER ( Bus Driver for NJ Transit, Vice President of Nursing Meadowlands Hospital, Parents of Ryan Maher)
SO YOU HAVE READ WHAT THEY THINK, WHY DONT YOU COME ON OUT TO A SHOW AND EXPERIENCE IT FIRST HAND? i WOULD LOVE TO KNOW WHAT YOU THINK
MySpace Layouts
WOW cool MySpace Contact Tables

WOW cool MySpace Contact Tables

Myspace Online Now Icons Myspace Codes Are you a stand up comic that wants to audition for Uncle Vinnie's Comedy Club? Are you someone that has always wanted to enter the world of stand up comedy? Then the Uncle Vinnie's New Talent Night is where you will want to be every Tuesday night at 8:30 p.m. This is for people who are serious about trying to break into the comedy business. Go to www.unclevinniescomedyclub.com for more information!!!

My Interests

NY Giants Football, Comedy,Professional Wrestling, Mixed Matial arts and all forms of Full Contact Fighting, NY Mets Baseball,Music,Movies, hanging with good positive people and of course drinking myself into total oblivion. Which former ECW personality (male) are you?

You are... Rhino
Take this quiz !

Quizilla | Join| Make A Quiz | More Quizzes | Grab Code

I'd like to meet:

Is this the part where I put "Leave the Drama for Your Momma"? Oh ok....maybe not, sorry I'm not a 18 year old white girl. I would like to meet anyone and everyone. Preferably people that enjoy stand up comedy and would like for me to entertain them. I would love to meet people that would want to have me perform at a private party, or fundraiser, as well as any comedy club managers that would like to book me to rock their venue down to it's foundation!!!! Life is all about having fun so lets have some people!!!

Music:

Bon Jovi, Poison, Guns and Roses,Trapt, Motley Cru, Van Halen, Journey, Soul Asylum, Taking Back Sunday, Story of the Year, Three Days Grace, Creed, Buckcherry, Social Distortion, Pantera, Slipknot, Velvet Revolver, Me First and the Gimme Gimmies, Biggie,Pac, The Game and more

Movies:

110 percent movie buff so here we go.....Every single Rocky movie. You name a scene I'll give you word for word dialogue impersonations it's insane. Godfather 1 &2, Karate Kid trilogy, The Shawshank Redemption,29th Street,Citizen Kane, 12 Angry Men, Swingers, Old School, The Departed, Reservoir Dogs, Pulp Fiction, Borat, Good Will Hunting, Patch Adams, Varsity Blues, Rudy, Goodfellas,Casino, Bronx Tale, Raging Bull, Easy Money, Back to School, Ladybugs, See no Evil Hear no Evil, Moving, Oceans 11, Ocean's 12 sucked big fat donkey dick. I was waiting for George Clooney to jump out of the screen and be like "I got your money bitches". The Manchurian Candidate (with Sinatra not Denzel) Malcolm X, Training Day, JFK, Thirteen Days, The Basketball Diaries, Young Guns, Van Wilder, Road Trip.....wayyyyy too many to name.....I'm thinking by now you get my point.
"I like this painting, you got one dog looking one way, the other dog looking the other way and then the guy in the middle saying....Hey what do you want from me?"- Joe Pesci in "Goodfellas"

Television:

WWE Raw, Entourage, Everybody Loves Raymond, The Simpsons, The Family Guy, Criss Angel Mindfreak, The Ultimate Fighter,UFC Unleashed,E True Hollywood stories, Hogan Knows Best Breaking Bonaduce, Surreal Life

Books:

"Heartbreak and Triumph the Shawn Michaels Story" by Shawn Michaels Anything by Michael Crichton or Stephen King.

Heroes:

My grandparents Joseph and Delores Regan. he was a hard working man that was very easy going. he loved his grand children and his booze. It was very easy to make this man happy. She was a hell raiser that got what she wanted. She passed along her edgy sense of humor to me as well as her ability to say whatever was on her mind without worrying about what people thought of her. Two one in a million class acts. I know they are up there right now making the boss himself laugh hysterically. May they both rest in peace.My mother and father who never had me do without anything I ever needed or wanted. Their neverending love and support has made me the well rounded person I am today. My sister who has inherited my bad luck but has made the most of it and is one of the smartest and most beautiful people I've ever met.....also a grade A bitch at times but hey that's what little sister's are for. To my beautiful girlfriend Kristin who can also be a royal pain in the ass with her fiery ginzo dego wop temper. But also super intelligent and the most supportive girl I've ever known. Also my biggest fan!!! I love you.

My Blog

TV Stuff, Philadelphia Phillies, The NY Giants, Fallout from Sheik, Presidential Debates!!!

  You can't even imagine how pissed off I was when I arrived home late Tuesday night and got all comfy in the recliner ready to watch 90210 which I had Tivo'd, only to find out that it was a...
Posted by Comedian Ryan Maher on Thu, 16 Oct 2008 02:57:00 PST

The Scott Hall incident, and the rest of Iron Sheik Roast!!!

  It is a shame I have to title this blog "The Scott Hall incident" but of course that is all anyone seems to care about right now. Instead of people writing me and asking me questions about how ...
Posted by Comedian Ryan Maher on Sat, 11 Oct 2008 03:08:00 PST

Kidnapping Jack Daniels, The Iron Sheik Roast Tonight!!!!

  Sometime it is just fun to hang out with your buddies and act like a complete jackass. I am very fortunate enough to have a career where I can do this on a regular basis. I also like to spend m...
Posted by Comedian Ryan Maher on Fri, 10 Oct 2008 01:49:00 PST

Link to Video as well as my thoughts on Kimbo Slice getting knocked out in 14 seconds!!!

These guys at EliteXC have pissed me off for a long time with their hype of the street fighter/ thug turned overnight sensation Kimbo Slice. For those that are not familiar with Kimbo the story is pre...
Posted by Comedian Ryan Maher on Sun, 05 Oct 2008 03:41:00 PST

5,000 friends, Hoboken slopfest, Taking the Good with the Bad and more!!!

  I have a reached a Myspace milestone if there ever was such a thing. I recently have accumulated over 5,000 Myspace friends. I love networking and meeting new people on this amazing medium of c...
Posted by Comedian Ryan Maher on Sun, 28 Sep 2008 12:57:00 PST

NFL Week 1, Debut of new 90210, Season Premiere of Entourage

   I have never been much of a TV guy. Of course I have always had my favorite shows that I followed as a child and what not, but other then football and professional wrestling I never ...
Posted by Comedian Ryan Maher on Mon, 08 Sep 2008 09:52:00 PST

Blog Re-post: Revisiting my thoughts on the new 90210 show starting tomorrow!!!

 Tomorrow night marks the debut episode of the brand new 90210. Here is a repost of part of an old blog from a few months back of how I think the show should go. Enjoy...   What do...
Posted by Comedian Ryan Maher on Tue, 02 Sep 2008 05:30:00 PST

Olympic Fever? War in Georgia, Barack Obamas celeb status!!!

   Am I the only one that doesn't give a shit about the Olympics? Apparently I am. Anytime I flip through the channels and come across NBC it's all that is on. Network and cable news have al...
Posted by Comedian Ryan Maher on Fri, 15 Aug 2008 04:58:00 PST

R.I.P Bernie Mac :(

I was very saddened to hear the news about the death of Bernie Mac. What an incredible talent again gone too soon. The Bernie Mac show was classic as was two of my favorite performances of his in Bad ...
Posted by Comedian Ryan Maher on Sat, 09 Aug 2008 12:48:00 PST

My Definition of a Film Buff,Step Brothers = Hilarious, The Dark Knight= Epic

   Yes folks you have read this title correctly. I actually had two enjoyable movie theatre experiences in a row. But before I get into that I want to clear a few things up. I have been...
Posted by Comedian Ryan Maher on Wed, 30 Jul 2008 12:58:00 PST