Vacation pt. 2 |
It's five-thirty in the morning, and I'm in the car driving to the airport. It's the first day of the Morse family vacation, although being awake and driving before the sun is up is hardly my idea of...
Posted by on Mon, 05 May 2008 06:02:00 GMT |
Vacation pt. 1 |
"IT IS T-MINUS TEN HOURS UNTIL DEPARTURE!! REPEAT& T-MINUS TEN HOURS UNTIL DEPARTURE!! BATTLE STATIONS!! BATTLE STATIONS!! PREPARE TO COMMENCE PACKING!! Every year, the Morse family embarks on a s...
Posted by on Mon, 05 May 2008 06:00:00 GMT |
AMERICAN IDLE |
Damn them! Damn them all! Like Michael Corleone in Godfather III, just when I think I’m out, they drag me back in again! I’m talking, of course, about this season of American Idol. The ...
Posted by on Fri, 04 Apr 2008 10:17:00 GMT |
Look, Up In The Sky... |
I’m sick and tired of being a mere mortal. It seems that wherever I turn there’s a new superhero movie sticking my face in the fact that I have no extraordinary powers that separate me fr...
Posted by on Fri, 21 Mar 2008 13:37:00 GMT |
My Pal Spongebob |
Ohhhh, who lives in a pineapple under the sea? If you answered, "Why, that is a ridiculous question, sir. A pineapple would never thrive beneath the ocean waves, and would in fact be quickly disolved...
Posted by on Fri, 29 Feb 2008 10:14:00 GMT |
NJ vs. FL |
Glancing out the window, it looked like a beautiful day. It seemed like the perfect opportunity to do all the errands I had been putting off, so I threw my coat on and ran out the door. About three ...
Posted by on Mon, 18 Feb 2008 17:34:00 GMT |
I’m Fat, part 2 |
In last week's column, I detailed my recent painful experience of trying to fit into my suit, only to discover that it was at least a size too small for me. After exhausting all the obvious explanati...
Posted by on Wed, 23 Jan 2008 10:46:00 GMT |
I’m Fat, part 1 |
It began as a normal morning. The Wife and I were getting ready to go to a dinner party, so I went to my closet to pull out my suit. I only have one. And it's all I need. Unlike many men who get u...
Posted by on Wed, 23 Jan 2008 10:44:00 GMT |
New Year Morseolution! |
As the new year approaches, people start gearing up to make resolutions of change. Some will pledge to lose weight. Others will vow to stop smoking. Many will promise to quit drinking. Or stop doi...
Posted by on Fri, 28 Dec 2007 11:20:00 GMT |
Another Dickhead Christmas |
I tried to get into the Christmas spirit, I really did. Usually, I become even more pissed off than usual this time of year, because it has always been my observation that people become enormous dick...
Posted by on Fri, 28 Dec 2007 11:15:00 GMT |
