Republican Party (White Christian Males United)

The Republican Party is the official spokesmen for God and official interpreters of the Bible. The more politically conservative you are the closer you are to God and the more politically liberal you are the closer you are to Satan (Jimmy Carter), which means you hate God. For example, Strom Thurmond was one of the most conservative individuals in politics, therefore, he was closest to God. Dr. Martin Luther King was a staunch liberal, which means he hated God and worshipped Satan....I fucking hate sarcasm.
Religious liberal Jimmy Carter is heavily involved with the Habitat for Humanity. From this, I'm able to infer that Habitat for Humanity is obviously a Satanic organization. Dick Cheney, on the other hand, was the CEO of Halliburton. From this, I'm able to infer that Halliburton is a Christian organization that serves God.
You can also think of me as "that old white guy who's afraid of change." I'm staunchly "Pro-Life", which means I want the government to have control over womens' bodies when they're pregnant and to have control over people who are terminally ill and when they want to pull the plug on their "life support". Also, in keeping with my "pro-life" stance, I am an enthusiastic supporter of war and the death penalty. I'm always up for killing Iraqis. And, when an innocent poor person is electrocuted because he couldn't afford a good lawyer, that is so awesome !
Like most Republicans, I am a white, protestant male. I hate it when liberals and Democrats talk about how "helping the poor" is constantly mentioned in the Bible and in the New Testament...it is never mentioned once throughout the Bible. Most of the Bible focuses on how gay marriage is a sin and how increasing the minimum wage is the same thing as worshipping the Devil.
Conservatives, like me, talk about lowering taxes for the wealthy, judging people who have abortions, hating homosexuals, getting rid of the capital gains tax, staunch support of the death penalty, and using war as a FIRST resort.
Conservatives, like me, would have supported slavery during the Civil War. Those un-Godly liberals were against slavery and for equal rights for them. Also, my fellow Conservatives and I in the 1960's were against the Civil Rights Act and Voting Rights Act, while the satanic liberals fought for the Civil Rights of African Americans...during this time, I was known as "Typical Conservative Southern Democrat Asshole"...luckily, for me, most of the Democrats who voted against the Civil Rights Act and Voting Rights Act were Conservatives who came to their senses and switched over to the Republican Party during the "Southern Strategy" ...................
There was absolutely nothing "racist" about the "Southern Strategy" ...the Republican Party just wanted to reach its hand out to white christian males who weren't quite fond of their negro neighbors and were really proud of their European ancestry ...*wink, wink..nudge, nudge*
Like most Conservatives today, I believe that the USA is the best country in the World and that France sucks...and that any country that disagrees with the United States is destined for Hell !
I am a warhawk. I believe we should invade any country that disagrees with the United States or even gives us an "awkward look"...I'm looking at you, Venezuela !!!!!!
You Are a Religious Republican Tool
You make up the Conservative/ Judgemental Sunday Christian, dedicated core of the Republican Party.
You believe it's important for religious people to stand up for their beliefs in politics and judge everybody who doesn't agree with you. After all, all liberals and democrats are going to Hell.
And for you, this means voting for your wallet - which almost always means voting Republican. There's nothing in the New Testament or the Bible, in general, that says anything about helping the poor.
When we stand in front of abortion clinics yelling out derogatory remarks at women entering the clinic, we are doing what the Bible commands us to do. The Bible commands us to attack abortion clinics and kill those doctors.
Your pet causes include judging women who have abortions even if you have no idea what their life has been like, preventing gay marriage since "straight marriage" has been so successful in this country, and doing everything to avoid helping the poor . What political persuasion are you?
Being a conservative Republican, I have more in common with Strom Thurmond than I do with Dr. Martin Luther King. King was a hippie who talked all about peace and other bullshit. Fighting for equal rights for African-Americans is the same thing as worshipping Satan.
People tell me I look like a combination of Dick Cheney and Jerry Falwell...except fatter and much more white.
So, if things go correctly, Dick Cheney will be the Republican nominee for President 2008. His running mate will be George W. Since George W. can't run for President in 2008, it is in the nation's best interest that they switch jobs. That way we have Bush and Cheney leading our great nation for a total of 16 years if I have anything to do about it.
A year ago, I was campaigning for Republican Duke Cunningham to run for President in 2008. He's been a great fighter for the Religious Right over the years. But, recently, Duke pleaded guilty to federal charges of conspiracy to commit bribery, mail fraud, wire fraud, and tax evasion and on March 3, 2006, Cunningham was sentenced to eight years and four months in prison. So, Duke won't be ready to run for President until 2016 most likely. But, I will wait for him.