UN Ambassador John R. Bolton

About Me

Jesus Christ, where the fuck do I begin. All I can say is that President Bush gave me the position of dealing with all these international candyasses over at the UN in New York. Everyday, I deal with all these dune coons and rat-fink dipshits like you wouldn't believe. I'm basically the guy that all the foreign leaders come up to and say "Why hello Mr. America, we need more money!" in which I say "HOW ABOUT INSTEAD I GIVE YOU A PITCHFORK THROUGH YOUR DIRTY AFRICAN THROAT." Yep, that's me, and you kids better start thanking me because I'm the only reason you shitfaces aren't speaking ching-chong right now.

My Interests

Interests? How about cramming globalist propaganda up socialist Europe's ass and walking out of UN Security Council meetings.

I'd like to meet:

Joe McCarthy was the shit. Ok get this, the guy walks into the Senate and basically says "FUCK COMMUNISM" while simultaneously fucking this hot broad and smoking a cigar. Right on TV. Can you believe that shit? You better, else I'll cram every issue of The Globalist down your throat until you start shitting out starving ethiopian babies. How's that for "world labor resources" you globalist fucktanks.

JOIN NIXON'S ARMY, YOU FUCKING LOCUSTS.

Music:

I only listen to one type of music and that's by the band named "FUCK AFRICA." I mean what is this Live8 shit, we give billions and billions to those craws across the Atlantic every year so they can play hopscotch and shit bullets at each other. WELL NOT ANYMORE, BECAUSE JOHN R. BOLTON IS IN THE FUCKING HOUSE AND HE'S GOING TO GO GUERILLA FIGHTER ON YOUR INTERNATIONALIST ASS. TAKE THAT AFRICA.

Movies:

What's that one movie where the communists invade the US and Patrick Swayze and Charlie Sheen are out conducting guerilla strikes against them? Oh yeah, it's called Red Dawn. I FUCKING LOVE THAT MOVIE!

Television:

I don't have much time to watch TV because I'm breaking necks and throwing ninja stars at those UN fucknuts 20 hours a day.

Books:

Hey I got a good book coming out soon it's called "The Bolton Plan: FUCK CHINESE ABORTION." Everyday something like 12 million unborn kids are killed by those Red bastards, and if they don't stop soon, I'm going to pie Jiang Zemin in the face at the next UNSC meeting and then urinate on his aides while dancing to Neil Diamond.

Heroes:

JOE FUCKING MCCARTHY OF COURSE! Reagan was a badass too, but nobody beats Gregory Peck. "On the Beach" is an awesome movie, because basically it's about America shitting all over the Soviet Union after a nuclear war. FUCK THOSE COMMUNIST ASSHOLES!

My Blog

Zipperheads: The Other Yellow Meat

YES, I know, I have not been on MySpace very much. Fucking deal with it. In the summer, you kids may have vacation from math class and hussy english teachers, but at the U.N. things heat up WHEN THE '...
Posted by UN Ambassador John R. Bolton on Sun, 09 Jul 2006 07:58:00 PST

A few facts about yours truly...

Courtesy: IMAO * Author of "China Shopping For Bulls - The John Bolton Guide to Diplomacy" * During 6-party talks on North Korea's nuclear program, shook down the other 5 parties for their lunch mone...
Posted by UN Ambassador John R. Bolton on Sat, 18 Feb 2006 10:06:00 PST

An explanation for my recent actions.

Ok, ok, SHUT THE FUCK UP ALL OF YOU NAYSAYERS. I've had enough of your shit. I've been getting tons of mail lately either praising me for my actions yesterday at the UNSC, or bitching at me to the poi...
Posted by UN Ambassador John R. Bolton on Tue, 11 Oct 2005 03:41:00 PST

My Average Day at the U.N.

BOOM-BOOM! You hear that? That's the sound of my glorious footsteps echoing throughout these shit-infested hallways in this worthless good-for-nothing-piece-of-ass skycraper we called "The United Nati...
Posted by UN Ambassador John R. Bolton on Thu, 06 Oct 2005 12:19:00 PST