Hi everybody!
Welcome to my official fan club!
I'm your idol hostess, the lovely
Cupid Kinkyboots!
My star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame . You can see it in front of the Wax Museum . j/k ; )
Momma always told me there are three kinds of people in this world: those who know how to count, and those who don't. I'm pretty sure I fit somewhere into the fourth category, but sometimes I begin to wonder...
I ate my first taco when I was like four years old. It's the very first thing I can remember about myself. Yum!
I went on a field trip to the zoo when I was in the third grade. The teacher had everybody draw a picture of the animal they liked the most. I drew an elephant. I colored her pink with little red toenails. The teacher thought it was so good she posted it on the bulletin board.
One time I had to write a book report about Serbia for my seventh grade geography class. But I didn't wanna do it, so I wrote about Bulgaria instead and got an F for not following directions. That teacher was so mean! He made me do the whole thing over or I wouldn't pass his class.
I went to a junior high school chess tournament when I was thirteen.
I was the only girl there and I won with a perfect score of 8-0-0. All the boys were mad 'cause they couldn't beat me! Nyah nyah nyah!
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I bought this kinky license plate at a comic book store. I'm gonna put it on my car. When I get a car, that is.
I get a lot of messages and comments asking if I'll loan out my boots. "Hey Cupid, can I borrow your boots for the weekend? I'm getting married tomorrow and I need something to wear for my honeymoon." Or "Cupid, Can I wear your boots to my sister's quinceaños?" I get requests like this almost every day.
Listen people, these boots are made for Cupid!
I don't know where your feet have been! Are you kidding me? I'm a fun gal , but I don't need to get all fungal , if you know what I mean.
I loaned out my boots once before and got them back all covered in mud . What the hell were you doing Jenny? Oh I went hiking with my boyfriend this weekend. Girl, these are go-go boots , you don't go hiking in them. Well, you should have told me that first Cupid. Hello, you go dancing in these things. C'mon Cupid, you always tell the guys these boots are made for walkin'. That's not funny girl. I really don't have time for this. You better clean these boots right now! Grrr! I was really angry and from that day on I swore never to loan out my boots again.
So please people, don't ask to borrow my boots anymore! I love you all, but not that much!
Mr. Peanut is more than just an Am eri can advertising icon , he's a refined symbol of class and sophistication . A true gentleman who dresses smart and is very handsome. I have a tattoo of him on my butt. I'll bet you'd like to see it.
I finished 47th in the U.S. Open ProMiniGolf Tournament held at Hawaiian Rumble in North Myrtle Beach, South Carolina. Yeah, those little kids in the picture all beat me too. I probably would've done better if I hadn't drank so much tequila the night before. Tee hee! There was a nice barbeque afterwards, though =] I had the grilled chicken and some potato salad.
Your secret wishes can be granted in full - once you know what they really are. "You'll PAY to know what you REALLY think."
- J.R. "Bob" Dobbs,
The Book of the SubGenius
I'm not conceited.
I'm not egotistical.
I'm just super-awesome!
Big Fish!
psycho bunny, qu'est-ce que c'est
Tia Juana's rooster. A mighty fine cock!
I bought this bunny jack-in-the-box at a yard sale. Isn't it just absolutely adorable? The guy wanted five bucks for it, but I talked him down to three.
When I'm not out dancing at the clubs I'm usually singing karaoke with my friends. Darlene has a karaoke machine at her house and we have little parties over there sometimes. We like to pretend we're on American Idol . Her neighbors don't seem to mind if we get a little too loud and carried away . I start out kinda shy but I sing my best after I've had a couple of margaritas . Tee hee!
It's a lot of fun and we always have a good time : )