Janine Paquette Hayes profile picture

Janine Paquette Hayes

You’re never too old to turn 40,.. un,.. til you turn 41!! :)+)

About Me

..
I'm half Italian, (so don't piss me off) and 1/2 French and Irish, (so I'm a light weight and I have a little B.O.). I'm a stand up comic and mom of 4 crazy little people,.. actually, they're getting kind of tall, like their mama. As my overly affectionate friend Carlos would say, "I laahv to laahv". I love being nice to people. Even if they're jerks to me,...besides, God says then he'll put hot burning coals on their heads in hell for it so, you bet I'm gonna be nice! I'm a little insecure, but I'm workin on that. Funny,.. or at least 'I' think I'm funny. I guess I can be annoying? That's what my ex-husband always said. He was a nice person. What else, I'm madly in love with any baby that crosses my path, and any kind of baby, puppies, birds,...baby ants. I LOVE being around people,... most of them, except fake people. Keep it REAL PAYPUL!! Act when the camera's are rolling okay? That's why I love babies so much. When babies like you it's because they really like you. Not because you've been on TV or because you're sitting with someone famous or because they want to get into your pants,...well,.. they might want to nurse, but that's different. And comedy,.. my true love. I truely do dig it, I do. And Homer. He is,... my dream man. But I respect Marge. I wouldn't like, go for him or anything. Besides his chest isn't hairy enough. :).. width="425" height="350" ....

My Interests

Raising my four little peanuts, and oh let's see, I like,.... eating,... dancing,... sleeping, when I'm tired,..... I don't mind a good argument as long as the other person doesn't hit me,... ah,... walking, I love going for walks,.... shopping at thrift stores, ooooo I'm getting excited,...... um,.... parties, love parties,..... getting dressed up and going out with my girlfriends, LOVE that!,.... going to comedy shows, LOVE going to comedy shows, putting on comedy shows, I'm really starting to like that, being IN comedy shows, now we are TALKING! and laughing, love to laugh, any reason to laugh, that is,... just,.... the best. Laughing. My favorite thing to do,.... okay second favortie.

I'd like to meet:

Send me a message if you want to become my friend Oh KAY??? I'm not saying we'll talk every DAY! But at least say hello first right?, I mean sure, I'd like to meet AAAAAll za beautiful people of za verld!! Including the man responsible for my BEING a stand up comic, the one and only, Steve Martin, Tracy Alman, (I don't know how to spell her name, could you tell?), and Jim Carey, Martin Short...amoung many ahzahz! WHAAADELS?!! my 'my friends' thingy really is full of my friends,...or people I'd like to be friends with,.. or people I pretend are my friends,(sometimes that even BETTER!!), so send me a message first and then if we can become friends,... right?,... WAAAADum jus sayin!)

Music:

Love my music. It does soothe the savage beast doesn't it? And singing, love to sing. Yes this ass, she does love to hear herself bray,.... how do you spell brey anyway? That wasn't right was it?

Movies:

I can NOT sit still very often long enough to watch a commercial never mind a movie HOWEVER! I have been talked into watching them from time to time, and although my agreement has almost always been accompanied by long heavy sighs of disgust and my needing to be pulled by one arm into the theatre while I use every muscle in my head to do an olympic gold medal worthy eye rolling so as to fully express how ANNOYED I am that I'm actually going to be sitting in one spot for that rediculously long amount of time when I could be dancing or at least jumping up and down in place!,..... Afterwards? I love almost every movie I've ever seen,..even the crappy ones. I walk out of the theatre wiping tears from my eyes then throwing my arms up into the air shouting, "THAT WAS THE BEST MOVIE I'VE EVER SEEN!!" Seriously I don't think I've ever seen a movie I didn't like,... except for Silence of the Lambs. That was the WORST comedy/love story EVER!

Television:

I don't have cable. None. There's so much dumb crap on TV, and I've got kids, I have to be careful. I buy DVD's so I can be in charge of what they see. We've got ALL the seasons of the Simpsons! DOW! And you've got to have your educational stuff too, so we got all the Sponge Bob episodes. ImaaaginAAAtion! .....and Family Guy, South Park and Jackass. What?!?!.....the,.. kids are getting older!!!

Books:

The Bible, even though I never read it. I just like having it around. The Four Agreements, and my present fave, The Mastery Of Love. This is a wonderful book,.. if you're into all that love and happiness crap like I am. The Mastery Of Love. And that's my plan to become a Master of Love. Love waits, while the master bates. (Love you Mel!) :)

Heroes:

Who are my heroes? All the dead people who did nice stuff for others. And the living ones too.

My Blog

To celebrate my new girlfriendhood,..a poem.

This is a word poem written by the geniuses I birthed. It has nothing to do with my new girlfriendhood but I wanted an excuse to post the poem and I wanted an excuse to use the term 'girlfriendhood' ....
Posted by Janine Paquette Hayes on Fri, 25 Jul 2008 09:51:00 PST

Okay,.. in my defence,.. let me just say,...

We all know I can't spell to save my life. If that wasn't proved in my last blog(and in this one), then,. well then you're worse than I am. But if you will, please note the 'time' I posted that b...
Posted by Janine Paquette Hayes on Mon, 09 Jun 2008 02:29:00 PST

I dreampt I had 10 kids,...no really.

After working a 13 hour day, (I'm a nanny for two families, one with four kids, one with two,.. yes, I know,.. enough is enough.   ..... the show wasn't called "10 is enough" was it?)  ...
Posted by Janine Paquette Hayes on Sun, 08 Jun 2008 02:47:00 PST

This explains why I’m so awesome!!!

I AM HEBE!!Okay now I'm not EXACTLY sure how this works but my daughters made me log on to this 'Greek Goddess' site,. yes they MADE me! I wouldn't have done this on my own, I'm a 40 year old mature w...
Posted by Janine Paquette Hayes on Sat, 24 May 2008 12:08:00 PST

I’m Jane??,...... JANE?!?!?

I’m online getting my hair cut. Ahhhhh dunno why but they’ve got me as ’Jane’. Oooookay.I haven’t watched it yet but,... I don’t have to.I lived it.I’m not su...
Posted by Janine Paquette Hayes on Wed, 19 Mar 2008 10:22:00 PST

Islands join Arrowhead and Trader Joes as my sponsors!!

Brag, brag, brag, brag, brag, that's right dang it, brag, brag, brag!I am so proud and honored and grateful to everyone for all the support this event has and is receiving. I can't wait for this weeke...
Posted by Janine Paquette Hayes on Tue, 19 Feb 2008 12:04:00 PST

Drivin with ma hazards.

(Warning: this is not very funny.)I got a flat tire last night. It was wonderful. Seriously. There were so many people who were willing to help me. I actually know how to change my own tire, I just do...
Posted by Janine Paquette Hayes on Mon, 03 Dec 2007 08:57:00 PST

Yes I cut my hair. :)

No I'm not a lesbian now,... I don't think.No I'm not having a mid-life crisis,... I don't think.NO I'm not,... yes I'm trying to shed old crap in my life and go forward with a lighter,... les...
Posted by Janine Paquette Hayes on Mon, 19 Nov 2007 09:23:00 PST

The Big Lebowski Festival!!

This was a birthday present from one of the BEST ex-boyfriends I've ever had!!!Sorry about the lack of photos, I swear it's true I had a cold,.. and I'm a wimp. So I slept all day, took some thera-flu...
Posted by Janine Paquette Hayes on Mon, 22 Oct 2007 12:33:00 PST

My birthday,.. A Day In The Life.

I decided seeing I have no money right now, my gift to myself would be 'A Day In The Life OF Janine Hayes'. Because I love my life right? I'm just going to get a good night's sleep and make no unusual...
Posted by Janine Paquette Hayes on Sun, 14 Oct 2007 01:43:00 PST