Ralph Vincent profile picture

Ralph Vincent

people from poland are poles. people from holland are holes.

About Me

I am a responsible pet owner. I tell jokes in front of microphones. A lot. I like dark liquor and 2 and 3-piece polyester suits. I am a good smelling man. everyone tells me so.When i’m not on Myspace, you can find me here:

My Interests

Telling jokes, Nightlife, Music, Board games, Tap dancing, 2-Piece Polyester Suits, Classic Cartoons, Hanging with my friends, Hanging without my friends

I'd like to meet:

Comedians. Drinkers. People who like comedians and drinkers. Others.

Music:

Emo-Folk Rock, Radio Noise

Movies:

"It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World", "The Jerk"

Television:

Forensic Files and SuperFriends shown Split/Screen.

Books:

"Grapefruit" by Yoko Ono

Heroes:

Roberto Clemente, Howard Hughes, Charles Mingus

My Blog

Some Recent Hate Mail, and The Human Response.....

here is some recent hate mail from a few of my more intelligent readers. Enjoy!Fan 1:"i aint stupid like your white ass mother fucker cause will delete you from my profile bicht got something eles to...
Posted by Ralph Vincent on Thu, 27 Mar 2008 11:45:00 PST

Drowning a Fly

My dog was torturing a fly which she had captured with her paws. I thought that i'd put the fly out of its misery, so i picked it up and carried it to the toilet to get rid of it. I didn't want it t...
Posted by Ralph Vincent on Fri, 17 Aug 2007 10:42:00 PST

the reverend ralph vincent: ordained minister

my friend is getting married and he told me that i should get ordained so that i can do the wedding.  haha.... so today i got ordained online.  i am now the Reverend Ralph Vincent. &nbs...
Posted by Ralph Vincent on Fri, 27 Jul 2007 08:40:00 PST

I've Been Wrong

I thought it would be cool to keep the 200 goldfish in my bathtub, but in hindsight, I can see that I was wrong.  It was taking me forever to blindfold all of them every time ...
Posted by Ralph Vincent on Fri, 27 Jul 2007 08:40:00 PST

Uhhh........Paris Hilton: Rock Star?

I'm so excited that today's featured video is by renowned singer Paris Hilton.  This is exactly what the world was missing, and frankly, desperately needing.  Finally, something that the Isr...
Posted by Ralph Vincent on Fri, 27 Jul 2007 08:40:00 PST

The People's Court

I am addicted to the People's Court.  I think it's because they have Judge Marilyn Millian, "the hottest Judge on television."  (Their words; not mine.)  I'm watching it for the second ...
Posted by Ralph Vincent on Fri, 27 Jul 2007 08:40:00 PST