satirical paper profiles

twincitiesonion

Twin Cities Onion America's Finest News Source

Age:
19 years old
Gender:
Male
Location:
MINNEAPOLIS, MINNESOTA
Country:
United States
Status:
Single
Body:
More to love!
Here For:
Serious Relationships, Friends, Networking

Jon If ignorance is bliss then let me have my bed of lies so that I may sleep in peace

Age:
20 years old
Gender:
Male
Location:
Alamo, CALIFORNIA
Country:
United States
Ethnicity:
White / Caucasian
Status:
In a Relationship
Orientation:
Straight
Body:
Slim / Slender
Here For:
Friends, Networking

Louis Theroux Appreciationists! Hello!

Age:
37 years old
Gender:
Male
Country:
United Kingdom
Status:
In a Relationship
Orientation:
Straight

Mock The Week

Age:
103 years old
Gender:
Male
Country:
United Kingdom
Status:
Single
lechatjolienoir

CARLA Speak to me in a language I can hear, Humour me before I have to go, Deep in thought I forgive every

Age:
29 years old
Gender:
Female
Location:
New Jersey
Country:
United States
Ethnicity:
Latino / Hispanic
Status:
Married
Orientation:
Straight
Body:
More to love!
Here For:
Friends, Networking

Channing Back in SoCal

Age:
32 years old
Gender:
Male
Location:
LOS ANGELES, California
Country:
United States
Ethnicity:
Asian
Status:
In a Relationship
Orientation:
Straight
Here For:
Friends, Networking
auburndeltapunk

Jessica

Age:
24 years old
Gender:
Female
Location:
Birmingham, Alabama
Country:
United States
Ethnicity:
White / Caucasian
Status:
Single
Orientation:
Straight
Body:
Average
Here For:
Friends

Pierre Trudeau Tribute Page Just Watch Me!

Age:
87 years old
Gender:
Male
Location:
Ottawa, Ontario
Country:
Canada
Ethnicity:
White / Caucasian
Status:
Divorced
Orientation:
Straight
Body:
Slim / Slender
Here For:
Dating, Serious Relationships, Friends, Networking
caliheather

Heather Heroical. Twice nightly.

Age:
21 years old
Gender:
Female
Location:
Jacksonville, FLORIDA
Country:
United States
Ethnicity:
White / Caucasian
Status:
In a Relationship
Orientation:
Straight
Body:
Athletic
Here For:
Friends

Andy

Age:
26 years old
Gender:
Male
Location:
Los Angeles, California
Country:
United States
Status:
In a Relationship

Matt

Age:
27 years old
Gender:
Male
Country:
United States
Status:
In a Relationship
Orientation:
Straight
d_831

diane

Age:
28 years old
Gender:
Female
Location:
MADISON, Wisconsin
Country:
United States
Status:
Married
Orientation:
Straight
Here For:
Friends, Networking

Age:
36 years old
Gender:
Male
Location:
Philthadelphia, PENNSYLVANIA
Country:
United States
Ethnicity:
White / Caucasian
Status:
Married
Orientation:
Straight
Body:
Average
Here For:
Friends, Networking

Siesta Key Lei

Age:
100 years old
Gender:
Male
Location:
SARASOTA, FLORIDA
Country:
United States
Ethnicity:
White / Caucasian
Status:
In a Relationship
Orientation:
Straight
Body:
Athletic
Here For:
Dating, Friends, Networking

Jimmy

Age:
22 years old
Gender:
Male
Location:
Gotham City/Leeds
Country:
United Kingdom
Orientation:
Straight
tehcassassinator

the Cassassinator

Age:
20 years old
Gender:
Female
Location:
Houston, Texas
Country:
United States
Status:
Married
mapaperworld

Make A Paper World

Age:
23 years old
Gender:
Male
Location:
Ile-de-France
Country:
France
Status:
Single
Here For:
Serious Relationships, Networking

Voltaire

Age:
65 years old
Gender:
Male
Location:
Ile-de-France
Country:
France
Ethnicity:
White / Caucasian
Status:
Single
Orientation:
Straight
Body:
Average
Here For:
Dating

Nina walk where even ghosts fear to tread

Age:
24 years old
Gender:
Female
Location:
Davao City,
Country:
Philippines
Status:
In a Relationship
Orientation:
Straight
Here For:
Friends

Wahid,SaifulFadzly Hidup ini bagaikan kentut yg tidak menentu baunya.

Age:
22 years old
Gender:
Male
Location:
Melbourne, VIC
Country:
Australia
Ethnicity:
Other
Status:
Single
Body:
Slim / Slender
Here For:
Networking

iamTecia jesus is coming LOOK BUSY

Age:
29 years old
Gender:
Female
Location:
west hollyweird, California
Country:
United States
Ethnicity:
White / Caucasian
Status:
In a Relationship
Orientation:
Straight
Here For:
Friends
apriltastic

Possibilism Due to lack of interest, tomorrow is cancelled.

Age:
18 years old
Gender:
Female
Location:
Minnesota
Country:
United States
Status:
In a Relationship
Orientation:
Straight
Here For:
Friends

Xeni They say I ate my father. But I didn't.

Age:
23 years old
Gender:
Female
Location:
Baltimore, Maryland
Country:
United States
Ethnicity:
White / Caucasian
Status:
In a Relationship
Orientation:
Bisexual
Body:
Some extra baggage
Here For:
Dating, Friends, Networking
farmerboi

Farmer Boi f*ck bush and f*ck this war

Age:
20 years old
Gender:
Male
Location:
Wicker Park, Chicago IL, ILLINOIS
Country:
United States
Ethnicity:
White / Caucasian
Status:
Single
Orientation:
Gay / Lesbian
Body:
Slim / Slender
Here For:
Friends

mina There is only one success - to be able to spend your life in your own way.

Age:
27 years old
Gender:
Female
Location:
Vail, Colorado
Country:
United States
Ethnicity:
Asian
Status:
In a Relationship
Orientation:
Straight
Here For:
Friends
churchofbob

Gjen One door closes and another door opens.

Age:
34 years old
Gender:
Female
Location:
Berkeley Springs, West Virginia
Country:
United States
Status:
Single
Here For:
Networking
scottisweird

Scott Most terrifying

Age:
18 years old
Gender:
Male
Location:
Internet, Washington
Country:
United States
Ethnicity:
White / Caucasian
Status:
Single
Orientation:
Straight
Body:
Average
Here For:
Friends, Networking

HappyRock TRANQUILO

Age:
30 years old
Gender:
Male
Location:
Stamford, CONNECTICUT
Country:
United States
Ethnicity:
White / Caucasian
Status:
Single
Orientation:
Straight
Body:
Athletic
Here For:
Dating, Friends, Networking
onlyonelavis

Lavis BIG WOW

Age:
29 years old
Gender:
Female
Location:
London,
Country:
United Kingdom
Ethnicity:
White / Caucasian
Status:
Single
Here For:
Dating, Serious Relationships, Friends, Networking
jondavidwarner

Boris the Spider

Age:
32 years old
Gender:
Male
Location:
BOTHELL, Washington
Country:
United States
Status:
Married
davebokser

Intelligent Designer I don't have a God complex, God has a Me complex.

Age:
26 years old
Gender:
Male
Location:
LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA
Country:
United States
Ethnicity:
Black / African descent
Status:
In a Relationship
Orientation:
Straight
Body:
More to love!
Here For:
Friends, Networking
littlebearhere

Little Bear I wonder who wonders the wonders I wonder!

Age:
39 years old
Gender:
Female
Location:
South East
Country:
United Kingdom
Status:
Married
Here For:
Friends, Networking
RobinStGraves

Robin St Graves Specializing in Dysfunctional Behavior Since 1951 ~ Pirate for Life

Age:
101 years old
Gender:
Male
Location:
RESEDA, CALIFORNIA
Country:
United States
Status:
Divorced
Orientation:
Straight
Here For:
Friends, Networking
theguidetoallknowledge

MAAAAAAT DAAAAMON

Age:
22 years old
Gender:
Male
Location:
INDIANAPOLIS, Indiana
Country:
United States
Ethnicity:
White / Caucasian
Status:
Single
Orientation:
Straight
Body:
Athletic

Chuck You're washed up, fresh off spin cycles!!

Age:
28 years old
Gender:
Male
Location:
BALDWIN, New York
Country:
United States
Status:
Single
Orientation:
Straight
delacalleurbanwear

De La Calle Urban Wear

Age:
100 years old
Gender:
Male
Location:
San Juan,
Country:
Puerto Rico
Ethnicity:
Latino / Hispanic
Status:
Married
Orientation:
Straight
Body:
Average
Here For:
Networking

BS News

Age:
103 years old
Gender:
Male
Location:
TEANECK, NEW JERSEY
Country:
United States
Here For:
Friends, Networking
davefab1

david

Age:
27 years old
Gender:
Male
Location:
hell's kitchen, New York
Country:
United States
Ethnicity:
White / Caucasian
Status:
Single
Here For:
Friends

Derek Suffering From Elvis Disease

Age:
32 years old
Gender:
Male
Location:
Buffalo, NEW YORK
Country:
United States
Ethnicity:
White / Caucasian
Status:
Single
Orientation:
Straight
Here For:
Friends, Networking

Patrick

Age:
25 years old
Gender:
Male
Location:
Bernardsville, NEW JERSEY
Country:
United States
Ethnicity:
White / Caucasian
Status:
Single
Orientation:
Straight

Anthony Want to play a tape? How about a cd? Oh no, it's just an AM/FM RADIO

Age:
17 years old
Gender:
Male
Location:
Unfortunately, Pennsylvania
Country:
United States
Status:
Single
captainbrad

Brad D. Dance With the Dead in my Dreams

Age:
28 years old
Gender:
Male
Location:
U-District, Sea-Town, Washington
Country:
United States
Status:
Single
Orientation:
Straight
Body:
Average
Here For:
Networking
daralou

dara

Age:
29 years old
Gender:
Female
Location:
Sacramento, CALIFORNIA
Country:
United States
Status:
Married
Orientation:
Straight
Here For:
Friends

kevin

Age:
22 years old
Gender:
Male
Location:
SAN BERNARDINO, CALIFORNIA
Country:
United States
Status:
In a Relationship
Orientation:
Straight

Tennessee Slim I'm 30 b1tch3s!!!

Age:
29 years old
Gender:
Female
Location:
LOS ANGELES, California
Country:
United States
Ethnicity:
Black / African descent
Status:
In a Relationship
Orientation:
Straight
Body:
Slim / Slender
Here For:
Friends, Networking
bwizzle17

Brian

Age:
23 years old
Gender:
Male
Location:
WINSTON SALEM, NORTH CAROLINA
Country:
United States
Ethnicity:
White / Caucasian
Status:
Single
Orientation:
Straight
Body:
Slim / Slender
Here For:
Dating, Friends
theartemis

Artemisia / Diana I want a pink elephant named Jengo, a potbelly pig named Bacon and a bulldog named Fluffy.

Age:
99 years old
Gender:
Female
Location:
Upstate, New York
Country:
United States
Ethnicity:
Latino / Hispanic
Status:
Married
churchofkyle

Kyle Mofuckin' Stacy Do what you can 'til you're busted

Age:
21 years old
Gender:
Male
Location:
Sweetwater / Plano, Texas
Country:
United States
Status:
Single
Orientation:
Straight
anarchy_

Sandra 'I just handed you a giant load of gibberish.'

Age:
19 years old
Gender:
Female
Location:
Irvine (ick), California
Country:
United States
Status:
Swinger
Orientation:
Straight

Chloe Soulful Singer Songwriter

Age:
21 years old
Gender:
Female
Location:
Sydney, Toyland
Country:
Australia
Ethnicity:
White / Caucasian
Status:
In a Relationship
Orientation:
Straight
Body:
Slim / Slender
Here For:
Friends, Networking