I am the incredibly intelligent, handsome, and charismatic leader of the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea (for you people that aren’t as smart as me that means North Korea). I have a big puffy haircut and wear platform shoes to make up for my diminutive size (I am only 5’2â€, I mean even Napolean was 4 inches taller). I also have the most sexyiest manboobs on the planet. I came to power in 1994 when my father Kim Il Sung had a massive heart attack after allegedly getting into a heated argument with, you guessed it: yours truly.
Let's see where too start, I have made disastrous agricultural and economic policies causing my people to suffer under one of the world's longest, deadliest famines. Between 2.5 and 3 million people have starved to death under my superior leadership, which puts me 3 behind Mao and Stalin for most people starved to death in the Modern Era. But all that doesn’t matter because the 22 million people that live under my rule look at me as a God and will do anything for their pint sized hero (that is me). Did I mention yet that I am so dam good looking, well I am.
Ok what else, Oh yeah how could I forget. Right now I am working on my most important lasting legacy and that is to make PDRK a nuclear superpower. Yeah that is what I said nuclear, I have been shooting my new missiles all over the place and soon no one will be able to stop me, not USA, George Bush, Team America, South Korea, Japan, or the stupid European Union. Some people say I am crazy but they are just jealous of how smart and good looking I am. Did I say how sexy I am, yeah I am very sexy. Ha Ha Ha
