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Kim Jong-Il Named New L'Oreal Spokesmodel
The international cosmetics and beauty products giant L'Oreal has announced that North Korean President Kim Jong-Il has been named as spokesmodel for their new campaign.
"We all know that Kim has great hair, that goes without saying," said L'Oreal media liaison Mary Stevens. "His bouffant fade is so fresh-so chick! It's the rage with all of the kids in Pyongyang."
Stevens explains that L'Oreal's decision goes beyond just hair. "Kim is the total package: high cheekbones, a soft nose, piercing eyes and of course those lips. Pouty yet perky. Soft and supple. One look at him is enough to keep the ladies awake all night in Chongsong-Nodung-Jagu."
Reports from industry insiders indicate that L'Oreal originally tried to pair up the North Korean President and Halle Berry in a new ad campaign, but Berry balked after Il tried to look up her skirt at their first meeting. A spokesperson for the Hollywood actress said, "At one point, Mr. Il asked Ms. Berry if she wanted to inspect his weapon of mass destruction, at which point he proceeded to drop his trousers."
Instead, the French company has decided to partner up Kim Jong-Il with actress Jennifer Love Hewitt. Mary Stevens explained, "Jenny's warm youthful aura will be a nice counterbalance to Kimmy's mean dictator persona." When informed who his co-spokesmodel was going to be, Kim was reportedly ecstatic as he is a fan of both Party of Five, and I Know What You Did Last Summer. January has recently been declared National Jennifer Love Hewitt month in North Korea.
When asked if she thought it was sending the wrong message to make a ruthless dictator a L'Oreal spokesmodel, Stevens responded, "Kimmy's bad boy persona is exactly the type of message we want to send people. When you look at the President, you get the feeling he is saying, 'I may be a dictator, but I still take time to make myself pretty.'"
