Joe Girard profile picture

Joe Girard

Like Poverty, Only Depressing

About Me


How I made my profile:
I used.
Coward/Recluse-in-training, I got into music at a young age when my mother put headphones on her pregnant stomach. Mozart, specifically. It shows, but not here.
For the next decade I stepped up piano models, getting progressively wider in taste and range for aural appetite. I used to listen only to "classical" music and Weird Al.
Anyway, Billy Corgan, Michael Stipe, Thom Yorke, and Tom Waits have, one by one, trespassed into my musical compound and, little by little, shifted around the orange boundary cones.
As for my musical used-to's, I used to be in the band Uvenburd with Ben Caplan. Check out the link on my page. We released two albums in our three years of togetherness, Cellar Door (2004) and Floodwatching (2006). We called it quits this past Christmas, due to distant restraints. But not before recording a new album, Arrivals/Departures. Keep an eye on the site for new tracks as they'll appear. My other musical used-to is my radio show, Saturn's Rings, on 93.3 cfmu. In this way I showcased a lot of potent myspace talent I'd been discovering throughout the year my show existed. But it's all over now. You're more than welcome to keep sending me free CDs, but they'll just go into my personal collection. Thanks to everyone who did send me their music pro bono. Your trust and generosity was much appreciated. I hope you're rewarded with many fans like me, who think you're amazing.
Also, an advance thanks to anyone who purchases Floodwatching from iTunes, and everyone who purchases my upcoming debut album, In the House of the Starvation Artists. July 21st

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Thanks to everyone for your positive comments.
"If I could score it out of mad badgers, there'd be a line of ten all being mad next to each other. The lyrical content needs some sort of analysis by someone far better qualified, not in music, but in psychiatry. I think you'll need to be patient with this, but I also think you'll enjoy it. If you figure out why, tell me." ~Living Atheist 7/10 (reviewing July 21st)
"Engaging...with clever and witty story-songs that take you down a road of musical surprises." ~realnewsnet.net
"...very accomplished and talented!" ~Ella Regina (awesome surrealist erotic writer)
"I always feel at something of a loss when it comes to your work; I can rarely think of anything other than 'nice' or one of its derivatives or synonyms, since there's nothing there that deserves to be picked at, or rises surprisingly above the rest of it. It's a consistent level of brilliance, like a seamless wall, and like a seamless wall it affords me no purchase, no entry point." ~Garnet Johnson-Koehn (sci-fi writer and friend of mine)
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My Interests

Music:

Member Since: 5/16/2006
Band Website: canuckescape.wordpress.com/
Band Members: Joe Girard.
Influences: (This has become more a list of the music I listen to on a regular basis, whether or not it really, deeply influences my work)

The heavy hitters: Radiohead, Tom Waits, R.E.M., Sigur Ros, Wax Mannequin, Smashing Pumpkins, Deep Forest, Cake, Vangelis, Moby, Kanenhi : Io Singers, Beck, Regina Spektor, Yo-Yo Ma, and Philip Glass.

And in no particular order: The 5, 6, 7, 8s, Air, Andre Gagnon, Angelo Badalamenti, The Arcade Fire, A Silver Mt. Zion, the Barenaked Ladies, Beethoven, The Blue Cliff Ensemble, Bob Dylan, Bonobo, Brian Eno, the Brothers Chaps, Clint Mansell, Coco’s Lunch, Coldplay, Daft Punk, the Decemberists, Dick Hyman, DJ Shadow, Eels, Frank Mills, Glover Gill, GY!BE, Gyorgy Legeti, Hank and Lily, Herbie Hancock, Imogen Heap, Iron and Wine, Janis Joplin, Jocelyn Pook, John + the Sisters, John Southworth, Kid Koala, Kronos Quartet, Leo Kottke, Leslie Feist, Les Mouches, Liam Lynch, Lisa Gerrard, Lou Reed, Mark Mothersbaugh, Mark Snow, Mike Oldfield, Mirah, Mogwai, Mozart, Neil Young, Nico, Orchid Ensemble, Oscar Peterson, The Persuasions, Phish, POTUS, the Rentals, St. Germain, Sarah McLachlan, the Soggy Bottom Boys, Stereolab, T Bone Burnett, Tenacious D, Thelonious Monk, Thievery Corporation, They Might Be Giants, Thomas Nwman, Thom Yorke, Tir Na Nog, Tori Amos, The Velvet Underground, Wang Xu-Dong, Weird Al, the White Stripes, Wilco, Yann Tiersen, Zamfir and Zappa.

And the music of friends I’ve worked with: Ben Caplan (the burd in Uvenburd), Dave Bakker (Pachyderm), Joe Boudreau (Jade Greenaway), Annie Shaw (Annie and the Muscle Men & Secret Annie Shaw Songs), etc. And Nature.
Sounds Like: If Tom Waits had had a baby with Joni Mitchell, I think their baby would dig my music. If you know what I’m saying.
I’m saying I got a big freaking ego.
Adding to said ego, I was digging around in my comments, doing some spring cleaning, when I decided to make a list of all my favourite comments. Here’s a list of the best of the best: what people had to say about the creative works of Joe Girard:
10) I like your voice because it’s an original, great voice, a personal one, with a lot of character.
9) joe you rock i want your msn
8) I must say joe, I listened to all of your songs, repeatedly... and I cannot choose which I favour more. So I have come to the conclusion that they all suck.
7) groovey me ol china, like it bigtime!
6) freaking killer ass! i’d like to take off every single one of my hats to you
5) FREEKIN SHWEET!
4) Beautiful layers and textures.
3) You make some good music also and we are completely a fan there. In more...
2) Tell the Earth scientists we are in excellent fooling, and should be round for a cup of tea and a scone in December. Bang.
1) You are officially cool... Do you like asparagus?
Record Label: None
Type of Label: None

My Blog

Microchip Tattoo: The Birth of Something New

I went camping a few years back, and before I did I spread around about a hundred of my unreleased recordings amongst friends, hoping that in case bears devoured me, which seemed likely at the time, m...
Posted by Joe Girard on Thu, 01 May 2008 07:21:00 PST

Recentescence: Readings and Shows

Recentescence = the aura of current goings on.I'm the sort of pinball who likes to bounce from project to project. I get bored or daunted or discouraged easily. Also, I just generally have a lot ...
Posted by Joe Girard on Wed, 12 Mar 2008 07:58:00 PST

Ben Caplan’s Student Song (w/ music updates)

A call to all students who pay for education.Go here: www.myspace.com/caplanto hear someone like you who knows the pain of shelling out hard earned cash to line the pockets of the greedy gatekeepers o...
Posted by Joe Girard on Sun, 25 Nov 2007 12:01:00 PST

Published Again! (with musical updates)

Howdy friends!Well, for the fifth time this year my work is in print! Third time electronically. The only on-line site that could have peaked my joyometer more than Clean Sheets would be McSweeney's. ...
Posted by Joe Girard on Thu, 27 Sep 2007 04:32:00 PST

I Got Published Again!

Go to http://www.wtfmag.ca/fiction/index.htmlto read my latest publication, Cash's Race. It's bizarre, but what do I write that isn't?(joe)
Posted by Joe Girard on Wed, 08 Aug 2007 01:02:00 PST

What the People Are Saying

Here's an assorted list of quotations from messages fans have sent, comments friends have left, and reviews peers have made. Memories I wanted to have easy, bulk access to. I hope you enjoy them, as I...
Posted by Joe Girard on Wed, 08 Aug 2007 01:28:00 PST

Backups Own the Future

Check out my wordpress blog (found in the Band Website portion of my profile) to read a new short story I wrote a couple months back. Hope you dig it. I'm not really a speculative fiction writer. And ...
Posted by Joe Girard on Tue, 07 Aug 2007 04:38:00 PST

New Music + New Album Update

So, you're probably coming here having heard the newly posted tunes. Night Cinders Into Silence is part of my other musical endeavour, strictly alyrical a'cappella stuff (though, in this particular so...
Posted by Joe Girard on Fri, 03 Aug 2007 06:12:00 PST

Cut Off His Arm, He Can't Shake, But Cut Off His Head, He Can't Kiss

Hey there, everypeoples,Update on production of my solo album: I had the time lined up to record with a fellow, Bryce Corkins, who was going to work for me at an extremely inexpensive rate: free. Even...
Posted by Joe Girard on Sat, 28 Jul 2007 07:52:00 PST

New Video

Yeah, so I just whipped this up in a couple hours with a camcorder and some gusto. I forget the words to the song in portions that were ommitted, obviously. Which is pretty funny. Considering. But tha...
Posted by Joe Girard on Mon, 11 Jun 2007 11:15:00 PST