dzaet profile picture

dzaet

Eldergoths Domain: Normal people scare me...

About Me


dzaet

All artwork copyrighted by dzaet belongs solely to dzaet and is not to be removed under any circumstances whatsoever. Thankyou.


Hello! I am an artist. An artist in a hurry. I have spent most of my life suffering with panic disorder. It was completely debilitating in my case, and it left me an empty shell of a human being. Every day was spent trying to control the fear that ruled me. As I have become older, the fear has all but subsided, and instead of spending every day of my life controlling fear, I yearned to turn back to the art that kept me alive as a child. In February of this year, I did a painting. And 12 more have been born in the last 2 months. I am home. I am finally home...But, I am in a hurry! I have lost most of my life to a mental disease, and now I have a lot to make up for in a smaller amount of time than most artists have. My mind is whirling with all of the wonderful things I want to do. Every single day is a miracle, and I am thankful for each and every one of them.


Forbidden
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We are so limited on this earth with these human hands. If only the mind could hold the paintbrush.


Abandoned Soul
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Yazbelle's Bochos, Store now open at www.yazbelle.,com
New items are being added daily
so come on in and join the Bochos family.

And yes!!! Yazbelle and I are related!! She is my evil twin.

Welcome to my cave. I go batty over art, fashion and the whole goth world. Music gives me life.I am a typicalsagitarian, but I don't take astrology seriously. I have a tendency to be lonely, even when I am surrounded bya ton of people. I tend to only paint and sketch people...maybe it is the lonliness. I prefer to make my ownclothes, but I can be lazy about it. I do have a big heart and tend to trust everyone, even when I know it isnot a good idea. I enjoy when people like me and accept me for who I am. I also enjoy being different. Likemost of us, I want love and happiness in my life.
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My Interests

Imaginary Friend
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Split Personality
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Manic - Depressive
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Fruit of His Labor
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Endless Desire
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The Battle Within
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Masks copyright ... dzaet

The Family
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Portrait in A Minor
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Words to live by...

"There are moments in our lives, there are moments in a day, when we seem to see beyond the usual - become clairvoyant. We reach then into reality. Such are the moments of our greatest happiness. Such are the moments of our greatest wisdom.

It is in the nature of all people to have these experiences; but in our time and under the conditions of our lives, it is only a rare few who are able to continue in the experience and find expression for it.

At such times there is a song going on within us, a song to which we listen. It fills us with surprise. We marvel at it. We would continue to hear it. But few are capable of holding themselves in the state of listening to their own song. Intellectuality steps in and as the song within us is of the utmost sensitiveness, it retires in the presence of the cold, material intellect. It is aristocratic and will not associate itself with the commonplace - and we fall back and become our ordinary selves. Yet we live in the memory of these songs which in moments of intellectual inadvertence have been possible to us. They are the pinnacles of our experience and it is the desire to express these intimate sensations, this song from within, which motivates the masters of all art.'

-Robert Henri


Old photos, most anything from the Victorian era, decorating...both the house and myself, tatoos, all types of art, tapestries, spirituality, intelligence...these things all interest me

I'd like to meet:

All artists, creative people, oh, and one nice rich person who loves my work and would like to back me....

Music:

Evanescence, Android Lust, Depeche Mode, The Cure, Alanis Morrisette, Jewel, Sarah MacLaughlin, Korn, No Doubt, CruxShadows, Peter Gabriel, Sting, Crosby Stills Nash and Young (good memories)

Movies:

Sense and Sensibility, Remains of the Day, Underworld, Corpse Bride, Nightmare before Christmas, Devils Advocate.

Television:

I have gotten where I despise television. It robs me of valuable time, rest, and creativity.

Books:



Heroes:

Haven't found any yet.

My Blog

A Story that Needs to be Told

This is a story that needs to be told. All of the stories like this need to be told. It is a long, sad story and I am not sure where to begin. I will begin, at the beginning of what was passed to me. ...
Posted by Blackorchid on Wed, 31 Jan 2007 06:49:00 PST

I am itchy!

Well, here I am. The first day of the new year, the first day of the rest of my life. I have made most of the customary resolutions. Eat healthier, be kinder, care more, develop my spirituality. I thi...
Posted by Blackorchid on Mon, 01 Jan 2007 06:19:00 PST

Its my fault

I found out when I was 15 years old, that it was my fault that I was sexually abused by my father. My mother was kind enough to tell me.   I found out it was my fault that my mother disowned me, ...
Posted by Blackorchid on Tue, 19 Dec 2006 06:32:00 PST

Today is my birthday

Well, here we are. Another year. Another birthday. The dreaded birthday. Not only because of becoming yet another year older, but birthdays and holidays are always lonely, sad days. Days that never me...
Posted by Blackorchid on Sun, 03 Dec 2006 05:30:00 PST

I am living inside of concrete

Yes, I am living inside of concrete. That is how it feels. 10 foot thick concrete. Impenetrable, suffocating, dead concrete. I am laying here, in this concrete silently screaming. I feel molded into t...
Posted by Blackorchid on Fri, 13 Oct 2006 08:24:00 PST

The inner child

My music.  The piano duet from the film Corpse Bride. It is magical music.  It brings out the child in me.  The inner child that has always been there, and always will be there. When I ...
Posted by Blackorchid on Sat, 22 Jul 2006 11:45:00 PST

Questions for my Life

I thought blogs were just that. Sitting in front of a computer and simply writing down what you were thinking or feeling at the moment. Somehow, when they became public, I fell into the trap of t...
Posted by Blackorchid on Thu, 20 Jul 2006 01:24:00 PST

internal civil war

There is an internal civil war within me. A war of love and hate. A war of caring and disregard. A war of hope and despair. A war of  youth and age. A war of spirituality and athiesm. A war of&nb...
Posted by Blackorchid on Tue, 07 Mar 2006 07:21:00 PST

Eldergoths

If there is one thing I have learned, it would be this. It is really tough to be an Eldergoth. Mainstream people tend to believe that the gothic culture is limited to the mall teens. Which, I guess if...
Posted by Blackorchid on Thu, 16 Feb 2006 06:15:00 PST