I am a stand up comic based out of San Francisco. I also am a part time teacher when time allows. The past 4 years have been a whirlwind. Here are some highlights... Watched a friend nearly get beat down on stage by the star running back of the Oakland Raiders. I sat and did nothing* Performed sold out shows at the Great American Hall with the Howard Stern Crew* Drank a pint glass 3/4 full of Jagermeister on stage in Modesto to a huge ovation* Had to be carried out of the club and haven't had a drink since* Nearly booed off stage at one of the sold out shows with the Howard Stern crew* * Almost died in a car wreck coming home from a medical marijuana benefit by a dude driving the wrong way on the freeway* Heckled by a really drunk girl at a sold out show at cobbs comedy club* Dated her for 6 months* Helped write jokes for the Pamela Anderson roast on Comedy Central* Had a girl sing Mariah Carey in my ear after a show*Had to limp out of the bar with a chubby afterwards* Overheard my mom trying to tell my "Hurricane of Dicks" joke to one of her friends on the telephone *Fulfilled my lifelong dream and worked for the elite GFI Entertainment for a year or 2 before realizing I didn't have what it took to work with that level* Pulled an awesome prank on a live newscast with one of my best friends and one of my favorite headliner comics* Quite possibly burned a few bridges in the process* Went to an underground Drum and bass club and actually danced Krunk style with the coolest girl I know* Had to limp out of the bar with a chubby afterwards*Bobby Slayton called me Monkey Boy* Joined myspace to promote my comedy. My friend joined it to meet chicks* I have met cool comedy friends, he went out with a girl that ended up having a dick* Fortunate enough to be on stage with girls showing their titties at one of the Howard Stern shows* Called a girl a bitch on stage* Nearly had to fight with her boyfriend afterwards until I concvinced him I was right and she was in fact a bitch* Friends coerced me to invite a famous porn star to one of my shows* Fortunately she didn't show( I would have had to take my mom off the list and give her the spot)*Lit a bathroom on fire in my hotel with another comic. An accident but still cool nonetheless* Paul Mooney called me funny white boy* My answering machine broke and cut off/erased (forever) a very important message left by a semi-famous movie actor/comic* Laid on the ground afterwards screaming WHY GOD WHY?* Met and was given props by Robin Williams* Killed in front of my family and friends* Bombed Horribly in front of my family and Friends*To Be Continued...
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