The Young Persons Guide to CHRISTIANITY profile picture

The Young Persons Guide to CHRISTIANITY

I am here for Serious Relationships and Friends

About Me


I've been called "The Only Book that Really Matters," and--believe me--I can certainly understand where that sentiment is coming from, but let's not forget that other book. You know, "The Bible." God's Handbook. Your Personal Instruction Book for, well..., Everything!
Of course I know that most of you little dirtbag heathens are far too busy with your premarital orgies and your abortion parties to bother with something as "silly" as an ancient book--but that's exactly why I'm here!
Although I was Edited by Author, Genius, & Un-motivational Speaker, J.Bear, I was actually written by a "retired" Catholic Priest named, Father R. Thomas Stanley (although it is possible that Fr. Stanley thinks his internet penpal, J.Bear, is actually a nine year old altar boy from Toledo).
Whatever the case, together they will tell you everything you ever need to know about the Joys of God & Christianity, as well as the Evils of Science & Condoms.
Ultimately, the Choice is Yours. You can either Read Me, or you can join the rest of the Serial Killers, Muslims, and Unwed Mothers as the main course in God's Eternal Barbecue....
And I'm SuperCheap, too! Only $8.95!!
Visit my storefront to learn more

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My Interests

Anything that has to do with our merciful, merciful God, or the Divinity of Jesus Christ. On a totally unrelated, note, I am also very interested in why so many innocent little children have to suffer and die every year, or why the U.S. Government doesn't stop screwing around and just finally put Jesus' Picture on the Dollar Bill.

I'd like to meet:



Sinners, Scumbags, Heathens, Atheists, Jews, Muslims, Fornicators, Drug Users, PornStars, Murderers, Agnostics, Evangelicals, Abortion Havers, Abortion Givers, Protestants, Armed Felons, Scientologists, MTV Viewers, Evoluntionazis, Sticky-handed Masturbators, and everyone else who is well on their way to Eternal Torment in the Burning Pits of Hell.

The Church of Atheism
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The Afterlife...?

Near Death Experiences on FunnyOrDie.com

Bad Religion - New Dark Ages
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South Park on "The Story of Job"

Music:

Organ Music. The more dismal and depressing, the better.
Songs for Jesus

Movies:

King of Kings, The Greatest Story Ever Told, Jesus Christ Superstar, and of course, The Passion of the Christ (that Mel Gibson does it all, doesn't he? Just a wonderful guy....)

Television:

Ever since "Touched by an Angel" went off the air, I just use my TV as a shelf to display my picture of Jesus. I could stare at that alabaster white skin and those big blue eyes forever....

Books:

The Bible. Both Parts--unlike the Jews, we Christians realize that you can't get the most out of a book if you only read the first part!

Heroes:

God, Jesus, & The Holy Spirit (okay, I cheated--they're all the same person--but you'd already know that if you weren't such a disgusting little sinner).

My Blog

Father Stanleys "Evolution v. Creation Blog Template!"

I've been reading a lot of "Evolution v. Creation" blogs latelymany of which I've found to be very entertaining in one way or anotherbut there are just way too many to keep up with.  I tell you...
Posted by The Young Persons Guide to CHRISTIANITY on Fri, 04 Jan 2008 06:15:00 PST

"Ask Father Stanley" Part 5

From: Brightest Kitty in the Basket: Q. "If Jesus truly saves, then why didn't He try and catch my mobile phone when I dropped it into a sink filled with water and unwashed dishes? Surely that w...
Posted by The Young Persons Guide to CHRISTIANITY on Sun, 09 Dec 2007 09:41:00 PST

The Power of Faith

I've been reading a lot of different blogs out there--many of which ridicule or condemn Religious Belief in favor of that trendy, new age, empirical knowledge crap.  But what they fail to underst...
Posted by The Young Persons Guide to CHRISTIANITY on Fri, 07 Dec 2007 07:19:00 PST

"Ask Father Stanley" Part 4

The following questions were delivered via Myspace Messages.  The Senders have asked to remain Anonymous.  Since I always respect the rights and views of everyoneeven cowardly blasphemers o...
Posted by The Young Persons Guide to CHRISTIANITY on Sun, 25 Nov 2007 11:18:00 PST

"Ask Father Stanley" Part 3

Thanks for the Great Response so far! It's obvious to me that there are just as many lost souls out there as I had thought--and I'm here for every one of them.Keep those Messages & Comments Comin...
Posted by The Young Persons Guide to CHRISTIANITY on Tue, 20 Nov 2007 06:09:00 PST

"Ask Father Stanley" Part 2

Q.   I recently saw a PBS show about "Intelligent Design" and it seemed like a great theory to combat the evils of Evolution. What do you think?A.  I think you're an idiot who's going...
Posted by The Young Persons Guide to CHRISTIANITY on Fri, 16 Nov 2007 06:30:00 PST

"Ask Father Stanley"

Welcome to the first edition of the Only Advice Column You'll Ever Need! All Questions are invited--no matter how retarded they might make you seem--and will be answered by Father R. Thomas Stanley, t...
Posted by The Young Persons Guide to CHRISTIANITY on Wed, 14 Nov 2007 06:41:00 PST

Our Protest is Over....

Our Protest Officially Ended Today, as it was pointed out that today (Monday) is actually the 12th, and not tomorrow. Obviously we were so worked up over the atrocities we were protesting, that we co...
Posted by The Young Persons Guide to CHRISTIANITY on Mon, 12 Nov 2007 03:09:00 PST

Veterans Day Protest

Just to let our friends know, J.Bear Productions will shut down this Veteran's Day Weekend In Protest Something--the actual subject of our protest is yet to be determined, but we feel that someone had...
Posted by The Young Persons Guide to CHRISTIANITY on Fri, 09 Nov 2007 04:23:00 PST

Coming Soon! "Ask Father Stanley" Blog

Next week, we'll begin posting our New Blog-- "Ask Father Stanley."Here, you'll have an interactive way to get answers to all Life's Nagging questions. No issue is too insignificant for our Good Fat...
Posted by The Young Persons Guide to CHRISTIANITY on Thu, 08 Nov 2007 04:14:00 PST