Bob Noxious profile picture

Bob Noxious

The day I become your dog is the day I bite you!

About Me



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My Interests



My derby novelty business Flyin' Squirrel!

The team I get to suit up every so often.

I'd like to meet:

ROLLER DERBY skaters, support staff, and avid fans. Anyone who can make me laugh harder than I make me laugh. The rest I've got covered.

Music:

Pop music sucks. And everything else is tired. I find myself reaching out for genres I hadn't previously considered. Though a metal head -I grew up in the 80s IN Milwaukee (metal capital of the world) - suddenly, thrash metal has been fun. Megadeth has been a blast. Finally I "get" rap. At least old school - Public Enemy blows me away, Beastie Boys, 3rd Base. As far as the newer stuff goes, still searching. Emenem is brilliant, but some of it is too dark to play very often. New findings, well, for me anyway: - Family Force 5 - Funk rock. - The Legendary Shack Shakers. If Tom Waits would go punk, they are what he'd sound like. Standards: Wilco (and all previous derivatives of), Alice in Chains, Rage Against the Machine, Soundgarden, early Big Head Todd, The Who, Led Zeppelin, Elvis Costello, Violent Femmes, REM (the 80s stuff), Radiohead, Red Hot Chilli Peppers (the 80s stuff). I catch my 6-year-old son singing "Someday" by Cracker every so often and realize I'm succeeding as a parent. Never underestimate the power of Pink Floyd or Roger Waters solo stuff, especially if you're really depressed. Kings X is likey the most played music I own. Anything Doug Pinnick works on, I'll buy. As far as happy, uplifting music goes...that's pretty much a waste of time - unless it's sarcastic, of couse.

Movies:

I've seen more movies than I like to admit. I went through a "collecting phase," now I own over 1500 titles and never watch them. A Christmas Story may be the most perfect movie ever made. Things to Do in Denver When You're Dead, Snatch, and The Usual Suspects always seem to remain top of mind. Boat drinks!

Television:

TV generally sucks and in the last 10 years I had only been mesmerized by one show - The X-Files. I'm a sports fan and enjoy the occassional Sportscenter, but not really into anything on TV, until last month. My 6 year old son got me stuck on Pinks. I could watch it all day long.

Books:

People still read? OK, I do once in a while. David Sedaris may be the funniest writer to come along in forever. My favorite is Great Expectations.Childrens books amaze me at their simplistic stupidity most of the time. Seriously. Most illustrate worse than South Park, have no story line or fun word patterns, and somehow are award winning. Huh? Then you finally come across Shel Silverstein (brilliant even for an adult read) and the amazing word patterns Dr. Seuss gave us.

Heroes:

My hero is pretty much anyone who takes the time to raise their kids, mans up to their responsibilities, tells the truth, can admit when they've screwed up, and regularly offers to buy the beer.

My Blog

First time having to pee at night saved me

Truly, it is really annoying to have to get up and pee at night. Regardless of the lack of liquid intake or the pre-sleep, pre-cautionary urination I take, I think I must get up and pee ever...
Posted by Bob Noxious on Tue, 08 Jan 2008 06:22:00 PST

Who is so interested in my pecker?

It's been a long year for me. First the neck thing, the typical derby schedule, and, of course, starting Flyin' Squirrel derby novelty t-shirts. First, I'm sorta computer savvy, but not enough to unde...
Posted by Bob Noxious on Mon, 22 Oct 2007 08:53:00 PST

Bob's burning bush - hey, not that kind! Pervert.

It was a Monday, a day like any other day, I left this small town for...oops! Sorry, I forgot Foreigner already wrote that. But it was true. I left the small town of DeForest - a burgeoning country su...
Posted by Bob Noxious on Tue, 03 Jul 2007 11:30:00 PST

We've gotta weird tooth fairy

Ya know, as a parent, there a few things I'm not particularly comfortable with.  First it was changing diapers, but thankfully those days have passed.  And believe me, my kids shit a lot!&nb...
Posted by Bob Noxious on Tue, 29 May 2007 08:05:00 PST

I just can't image why MySpace gets such a bad reputation?

I have a ton of blogging to catch up on, but once in a while something gets my ire up and I can tell the sarcasm is gonna flow.  MySpace may run like a piece of shit half the time, but for those of us...
Posted by Bob Noxious on Wed, 09 May 2007 08:47:00 PST

Bob Noxious hits the big time - it was bound to happen

Dear friends and fans,As a premiere roller derby announcer, world-reknown fashion guru, and a wordsmith unlike any since Nipsey Russell, it was only a matter of time before a "sign" came along which s...
Posted by Bob Noxious on Wed, 01 Nov 2006 10:28:00 PST

The Duck Pond bout - first ballpark bout of new era roller derby

The only thing more nightmarish than the ballpark bout might be recapping it.  I swear everything about this event has been cursed.  A few days after the bout took place, Texas Phil, who li...
Posted by Bob Noxious on Tue, 19 Sep 2006 11:06:00 PST

Derby Sucksessories

This may come as a shock, but Bob has a management degree - no, not from some mail order diploma, Sally Struther's endorsed place - which landed him in various management roles, first in department st...
Posted by Bob Noxious on Tue, 11 Apr 2006 09:18:00 PST

Bumbershoot rocks! Like, uh, more than Nirvana I think - updated, final version.

Friends, family, and odd people who read my blog for some sort of insight into life... Bumbershoot, the 8-team flat-track tournament in Seattle last weekend, was the greatest undertaking in roller de...
Posted by Bob Noxious on Wed, 06 Sep 2006 11:00:00 PST

Bob Q&A clears up mysteries and misconceptions

Dear fans and friends, In what has become nearly 1 1/2 years of roller derby involvement, I feel that there have been hundreds of things said and written about me that aren't completely true, or are ...
Posted by Bob Noxious on Fri, 17 Mar 2006 06:57:00 PST