Now, before you go, "awww, a little doggie", lets get some shit straight, douchebag...in your shaved ape years, I'm only six, so thats not a very long time on this planet, but I've seen war, poverty, and shit that would make you piss your pants, like a Prepubescent boy visiting Micheal Jackson's house.
Anyway, Shits pretty sweet now. I get to lay up all day, get free eats, and the hos love to rub my shit. Don't get me wrong, I love the bitches, but I got a special place in my heart for sausage too, especially the darkmeat.
Thats the jist of this shit, so what can I do ya for?
ARE YOU FUCKING LAME? - The Survey
Name: Spike Ezekial Dog
Birthday: 1/5/00
Birthplace: Parts Unknown, down the road from The Ultimate Warrior.
Current Location: Monmouth County
Eye Color: Brown, like poo.
Hair Color: Black
Height: 1'1"
Right Handed or Left Handed: Neither, I use my mouth to get myself off.
Your Heritage: Half German, half Spanish.
The Shoes You Wore Today: none, I'm a dirty hippie.
Your Weakness: Eating, hootch, smack, and the bitches.
Your Fears: I already had my balls cut off, what else is there?
Your Perfect Pizza: Covered in garbage, fresh out of the dumpster on a hot July day.
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year: Popping my red rocket into some gringo's ass.
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger: "bitches"
Thoughts First Waking Up: Time to eat?
Your Best Physical Feature: My ginormous red rocket.
Your Bedtime: Shit, if I ain't eating, or humping, its always bedtime.
Your Most Missed Memory: The one I cant remember.
Pepsi or Coke: Coke...pure Columbian, baby.
MacDonalds or Burger King: Taco Bell, bitch.
Single or Group Dates: ORGY!!!
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: Tea is for limeys and fags.
Chocolate or Vanilla: Depends if I'm in the burbs, or gettho.
Cappuccino or Coffee: Coffee...black, just like my men.
Do you Smoke: Only crack and meth.
Do you Swear: Fuck yeah, cocksmoker.
Do you Sing: Only when I'm cumming.
Do you Shower Daily: "Pffft"
Have you Been in Love: Only once with a voodoo woman.
Do you want to go to College: Yeah, I love Animal House!
Do you want to get Married: I'm got too much love to spread arround, baby.
Do you belive in yourself: Yes, I believe in god.
Do you get Motion Sickness: Only when I rock the clam on the high seas.
Do you think you are Attractive: Did you see my cock? Does it matter what I look like?
Are you a Health Freak: I eat used condoms for christ's sake, what do you think?
Do you get along with your Parents: Well, I'm a mama's boy, but I don't know who my dady is.
Do you like Thunderstorms: They get me hard.
Do you play an Instrument: The skin flute.
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol: Nope, I'm sticking to huffing Febreez.
In the past month have you Smoked: Does my cock count?
In the past month have you been on Drugs: When am I not? I'm practicly a Berrymore.
In the past month have you gone on a Date: dating is the long way to get laid, I just fuck homeless people.
In the past month have you gone to a Mall: The Mall is for teenages and fruits...why am I not there now?
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos: Quite a few.
In the past month have you eaten Sushi: Does clam count?
In the past month have you been on Stage: Nope, my stripping days are quite over.
In the past month have you been Dumped: Like a Cleaveland steamer? Thats hot!
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping: Ooooooooooh yeeeeeeeeeaaaaa.
In the past month have you Stolen Anything: Only virginities.
Ever been Drunk: Like Ted Kennedy at an open bar.
Ever been called a Tease: Never, I always put out.
Ever been Beaten up: I love that shit, hurt me daddy!
Ever Shoplifted: Its a means to an end.
How do you want to Die: At the bottom of a man pile.
What do you want to be when you Grow Up: Paris Hilton's new pet.
What country would you most like to Visit: Whichever still has white slavery.
In a Boy/Girl..
Favourite Eye Color: is blind a color?
Favourite Hair Color: As long as theres grass on the field, I play ball.
Short or Long Hair: Whatever I can grab from behind.
Height: If I can mount it, it dosent matter.
Weight: I like food tossers to fattys!
Best Clothing Style: Naked.
Number of Drugs I have taken: The combined usage of Courtny Love, Keith Richards, and Robert Downey Junior is as close as I can describe it.
Number of CDs I own: 0. Illegal downloading rules!!!
Number of Piercings: As long as its all genitile, its cool.
Number of Tattoos: I like my lovers to look like billboards.
Number of things in my Past I Regret: 0. I like my woman like Paris.
ARE YOU A BORING LOSER?! - or - NEED MONEY FOR THAT ABORTION?!
Yeah, Fuck You!
Dirty Jersey Spike Dog
is a Giant Robot that eats Rocks, has a Terrible Roar, and can Fly.
Strength: 7 Agility: 6 Intelligence: 9
To see if your Giant Battle Monster can
defeat Dirty Jersey Spike Dog, enter your name and choose an attack:
fights Dirty Jersey Spike Dog using
